Yeah im another one of those depressive teens who really just doesn't like their situation right now. I'll cut to the chase. I really don't like my life right now, not so much where I want to end it, not at all, please don't get that idea, it's just, well, if I wasn't to wake up tomorrow... I wouldn't really care. I have a family history of depression, my mother had it and my brother had it really bad and tried to kill himself a few times a while back and that scarred me a bit now I've got it and I'm not liking it at all, im screwing up in school, my friendships are a mess and my family life isn't to fantastic either, I appreciate that this may just be a phase and that there's always a 'light at the end of the tunnel' but understand that for someone, anyone going through this, it feels like this is all im ever going to feel, this feels like a million mile walk through a blistering dessert without any hope of rescue. I just need some words of advice, anything you can spare, I just want help.
Know, first of all, that you are never alone. Other than that, the best advice I can give you is to look to the small things. If the big picture is incomprehensibly, hopelessly large, then shrink it until it only covers the space of a single room. Shrink it until it is your realm, your kingdom. Forget about tomorrow; tomorrow hasn't happened yet. Treat each new day like your first day on Earth. Each day you wake up, you are meeting the people around you for the first time, with renewed inquisitiveness and enthusiasm. Do whatever walking you can and try to take in as many sights as you can in your journeys.
Break up the hours indoors by occupying yourself with books, films, drawing, painting, creating music - anything that keeps your mind working. Don't allow yourself to stagnate. Complete small goals and they will quickly stack up, allowing you to look back at what you've achieved with a real sense of accomplishment. I know you can pull through. I believe that you will overcome and you will be a stronger person for having done so. Your efforts will inspire those around you. You are cared for. You are loved. You are a human being, which, when you really get to thinking about it, is a wonderful and encouraging thing.
Oh, and listen to this, if you ever find yourself feeling lost in the vastness of the world:
Im no phsycology expert (I cant even spell it correctly) but you seem to have a case of teenageritis. Its pretty common in people your age id go so far as to say that those who dont suffer from it are in the minority so its nothing to worry about
The best cure is just to get on with things. You are young and youve got a lot ahead of you. Id suggest you knuckle down and study but also enjoy yourself, Get a good education and a well paid job. Dont worry too much about this part of your life. High school sucks but its a means to an end. Once you finish and get a job your happy in youll find your colleagues will have more in common with you, youll have more freedom and a steady income. I didnt really "find myself" (I know its a corny phrase) until I started working.
Captcha: I mustache you why...I hope that will cheer you up. It certainly made me giggle
Yeah im another one of those depressive teens who really just doesn't like their situation right now. I'll cut to the chase. I really don't like my life right now, not so much where I want to end it, not at all, please don't get that idea, it's just, well, if I wasn't to wake up tomorrow... I wouldn't really care. I have a family history of depression, my mother had it and my brother had it really bad and tried to kill himself a few times a while back and that scarred me a bit now I've got it and I'm not liking it at all, im screwing up in school, my friendships are a mess and my family life isn't to fantastic either, I appreciate that this may just be a phase and that there's always a 'light at the end of the tunnel' but understand that for someone, anyone going through this, it feels like this is all im ever going to feel, this feels like a million mile walk through a blistering dessert without any hope of rescue. I just need some words of advice, anything you can spare, I just want help.
Is it criteria-based depression, i.e. "I would be happy if I could have X but I don't," where X is job, money, friends, status, opportunities, love? Or is it existential depression, i.e. "What is happy? I don't imagine that this being I find myself as can find any meaning in this universe."
I have tons, and tons, of experience with the latter. It's the main reason Dr. Manhattan is my avatar, because I relate to him a lot. Anyway, let's start finding out what's going on.
Depression is useful. Drives you to change. Understand it is happening for a reason. You can choose to drown it in chemicals, you can ignore it, you can follow it into fits of rage or even worse.. Or you can rationalize and try to come out stronger and wiser then before.
Very unlikely we, or anyone can give you direct advice. Everything depends on factors.
Don't get stuck in depression, one will find little solace in their own navel. There is learning in self-reflection, there is none in self-pity.
shootthebandit said:
knuckle down and study but also enjoy yourself, Get a good education and a well paid job.
This is very true. Hopefully you can find a career you're interested in soon, but odds are good you won't. Don't be deterred from going to college like I was, you can always just take basic courses and figure it out later (Unless you want to save money and try harder then start educating yourself and applying it to create a portfolio, its the 'best' route, not the easiest) good jobs are NOT easy to find or get into. If you're going to have a happy future it will be MUCH easier without chronic back-pain, and with spending money.
Also I recommend working out, meditation, eating fairly healthy, having a sleeping pattern and this video.
Philosophers can help sort out existential issues. Here is a guy who I rather enjoy listening to, it's my favorite of his works. I've shared it both online and with friends. The recording is grainy givin the age, and its not perfect. All I can ask is you try it out. Understand while much of what he says is literal and proves itself true, he's often hypothetical or symbolic, if not completely biased.
Okay... That last one definitely has some song repeats... But, I digress...
That's always hits the spot for me, personally...
OT: Music is usually my go-to pick me up... especially Nujabes for me, since most of his music seems to take me to a safe place, lost in my neutral thoughts that end up cheering me up if I was in a very depressive state of being...
I'm not much of actually using words to give advice, anyway... especially if music could do that for me and then some...
Besides, at least be happy that you're still alive and able to communicate with those around you... (I always tend to see the brighter side of things for stuff like this, anyway...)
Sorry for playing an outdated cliché here, but I know what you're going through, I've been through some shit in my life. I won't bore you with the details, reading about other people's misery certainly only brings me down, suffice to say I almost lost a brother to cancer, and that has pretty much scarred my life beyond any repair. I'm not the most sociable guy either, I prefer to be left alone. I could say I have a sort of existential depression, where nothing really matters in the end anyway, we're all going to die, and we are all ensuring our own destruction.
What do I do? I immerse myself in music, whether it's happy or sad music isn't important, what's important is it fits my mood. I'm not going to go so far as to say "you should listen to this", because that's not helpful. What I can do, is link some examples music that I like, and that helps me just process my thoughts.
The music I like covers a very wide scope, so I'll just throw some thoughtful tracks out here, and then you can take it from there, looking for stuff that you like.
Well let's get the REALLY obvious one out first, this is something I like to ramp up on my earphones, almost to the point where it makes me deaf (not really recommended to play that loud, though).
Listening to this as I type, I like the combination of clean and screamo lyrics. Not everyone likes this, though. It doesn't have the "tearing screams" that Linkin Park offers, but I like variation.
Going a bit darker here, I like a lot of the music from Agalloch, though the album "Against the grain" is my favourite.
Going full black metal has helped my mood when I'm so furious I want to start destroying things. The album that this song comes from is the only Gorgoroth album I have, though.
Yeah I know, total emo-fest. I seriously don't care. I know the intro of this song is an overused meme, and I still don't care, I like the song. I use this song very much as a pick me up at the end of listening sessions. Don't know why, it just hits me right where it needs to, to bring me up again. I won't recommend the rest of the album though, to me it's basically just this one song that I like.
These are just a few of my suggestions, I have way more I can recommend. PM me if you should want some more suggestions. And if someone should feel the need to leave snide remarks about how this is all emo and cutting yourself and stuff like that: don't. I'm not completely emo, I dress like a normal boring person, and I don't cut myself. The pain of reality is bad enough, I don't see the need to apply physical harm to myself.
Another thing I do, is play games. Anything that catches my fancy, I enjoy spending time on. Although people are wildly different in what they like, I like games with a deep and engaging story. I can recommend some JRPGs, like the Tales-series (available mostly on PS3, one title graced the X360). And of course, books. I love almost everything that's fiction and fantasy. Not Harry Potter or Hunger games, I'm talking more "proper" fiction, with dark themes and a smile on its face when faced with certain death. Simply put, the LotR-universe is a good place for your fiction-fix. While the movies can be a bit meh, (not bad, just meh) the books offer a much more coloured universe, that gives an impression of a living, breathing world.
I wouldn't go total hipster and say that nobody can understand your pain. Truth is, they kinda don't, but you still shouldn't push them away. If anyone is interested in talking to you, let them in. Just remember that trust is REALLY important in this case, if you talk to someone and they go and tell EVERYONE, that can be a serious deal breaker, and makes you feel betrayed.
As for how long it'll take to get back on track? I don't think you ever get back on track. It's over 14 years since my brother got cancer and the world fell apart around me, and I'm still wounded by the experience. He didn't die from it, he's alive and well today, but the experience has left scars and with mood problems lining up to make my life miserable. I try to ignore it, but when it gets to me, I turn to the one thing that has always helped me, my music.
As a closing note, I can mention that my life experience has left me unafraid of death, as well. And it's okay to cry. I cry sometimes, it's a great catalyst and release for feelings. I always feel better afterwards.
EDIT: Fixed the youtube links. Had to look up on the forums to see how to do that. >.<
Cheers guys, again the people on the site never cease to amaze me with their kindness, I will be taking all your advice and will certainly be using it to better my life. I'll try to talk to my rents about this, hopefully they'll know how to help after my brother... and cheers for the jokes , love you guys.
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