I think I might need some dating tips...

[Netscape]

I'm not sure how this will go down, but I figured it couldn't hurt to ask if you guys don't mind. It's been a long-time since my last true relationship. I've been on a handful of dates and had a few no-strings-attached 'meetups', but it's been a years since I was last committed to an actual long-term relationship.

After my last relationship crashed and burned, which was largely my own fault, I decided to take a break from committed relationships until I felt I was mentally and emotionally ready. And while some users on this sub may have their doubts, I am finally happy with the person who I have become. Self-improvement is a never-ending journey and there are still some things I need to work on, but overall I'd say that I am content with my life and who I am.

My outlook on relationships is also much healthier than it was before. For most of my adult life I had taken the same approach to relationships most of my friends took, which was to do everything I could to look "cool" or please women. I now believe that this is a fundamentally flawed approach, so I have decided (a couple of months ago) that I'm just going to be myself. I'll still work hard to improve myself, to hone my body and mind to their fullest potential.

With that being said, I have become sucked into the rote inner-workings of adult life. I have almost zero opportunities to meet new people, let alone single women. I wake up and go to work, then I come home and participate in GamerGate or at best hangout with my uncle or a few friends. Even when I am with my uncle or friends though, we pretty much just hangout around the house and rarely experience the world for all it has to offer.

I'm stealing this 'advice' from HuniePop, but if I want to meet women, I need to go where the women are. I need to break free from my routine and get out of the house. Off the top of my head I should probably regularly visit the mall, community rec center and the book store. The book store is probably my best shot, since I'm more into geeky women anyway; bonus points if they are involved with GamerGate.

The stereotypical place to go would be the bar, but I remain skeptical. My work schedule is very different from most of my friends, so I wouldn't have a designated driver, let alone a wing-man. I also live in a semi-rural area, so there aren't any taxes or anything like that. I'd also be worried that everyone at the bar would be far older than me (I'm 22) or that they would be women I wouldn't want anything to do with in the first-place. I also don't really have any interest in online dating, so the interwebs are out of the picture.

Anyway, let's get to the point of this thread. Does anyone have any advice on how to meet new people, especially in the dating scene? And where should I go to meet people in the first place? I'm about to head out to the mall today (a place I almost never visit), any good tips on starting a conversation with strangers?

 

[Fappy]

You're not thinking things through properly OP. The more time you spend on dating and relationships, the less time you have for posting on the Escapist with your pals.

You're asking for advice on how to interact with females on a gaming fourm inhabited by weeboos, neckbeards and permavirgins. You brought this on yourself.

Okay, wow! I gotta admit, "permavirgin" is my new favorite nerd insult.

Pro as fuck.

 

[The Funslinger]

You're not thinking things through properly OP. The more time you spend on dating and relationships, the less time you have for posting on the Escapist with your pals.

You're asking for advice on how to interact with females on a gaming fourm inhabited by weeboos, neckbeards and permavirgins. You brought this on yourself.

Okay, wow! I gotta admit, "permavirgin" is my new favorite nerd insult.

Pro as fuck.

Of course you'd like it, ya damn permavirgin!

JK. XOXO.

But seriously OP, maybe you should step away from the whole GamerGate thing. I guarantee that most women either won't know what you're talking about, or probably won't care even if they do. Hell, it's kind of old news at this point.

And for the love of God, do not go trolling your local bookstore for single women. Nobody goes into a bookstore to get hit on, they go in to to browse books. By all means, it's great to meet people with similar literary taste, but bloody hell, if you're doing it with the express purpose of a hookup, you will only come off as creepy.

 

[EternallyBored]

Depends where you live, what's the population of the place you live, if you aren't in a city, are you at least city adjacent?

Clubs and other social spots are good for meeting women, my expectations may be off since I live in Nevada, and we've got kind of a warped sense of time where even more rural bars, clubs, and stores stay open way later than even most major cities. If you have any nightclubs, those are great for picking up dates on short notice, I used to work security in college for nightclubs and concerts, those places always had people hooking up left and right, if you had any charisma at all you almost had to try to leave without at least someone hitting on you or asking for your number.

Concerts and events targeted towards young people are another good bet, is there a college in your town? If not, then look for what other people your age are doing around town, not just the introverts that never leave the house, go explore, join some events, you should at least have a community center, unless you are really out in the rurals, there should be a lot more places than just bars to go to. Even rural towns will have outdoor events, if you don't mind Christian girls, then a lot of churches put on big events too, and the more laid back ones don't care what your actual religion is, 3 of our local Christian churches regularly get together to party with a nearby Jewish synagogue and Buddhist congregation.

That said, I don't know why you think the book store is a good place to get a date, that's like asking someone out at a grocery store, it's possible, but it's not really a place you go and expect to meet a lot of available people, any dates you pick up there would be mostly just lucking into. If you really want to get into a relationship, you should be looking out for possibilities all the time, but some places just aren't going to be ideal. Stumbling on a nerdy girl in a bookstore and asking her out is only common in Romantic Comedies.

Same with the Gamergate thing, if you specifically want to find a girl that will talk GG with you, then you are going to have to hit the online dating scene. Even if you lived in a major city, your chances of stumbling on an available girl that knows about GG and wants to talk about it, I'm assuming you want someone pro-GG here, is going to be very tiny. That's not a judgement call on GG, but it's just too niche of a thing to depend on running into someone randomly in public that's going to fit those criteria.

If you've got any friends with female friends or already in a relationship, you can ask them to introduce you to friends of their girlfriends/wives, I've had multiple friends meet their significant others that way.

Other than generic dating advice, you would have to tell us more about where you live, what kinds of things you like or are willing to do, and what traits you are looking for beyond just: nerdy, and likes to talk about GG. Strangers on the internet are not the best to go to for advice, none of us really know you, we aren't your friends, so we really can't do more than spout personal anecdotes and generic advice that likely may not even be applicable to your situation.

You would be far better served by asking your real-life friends and family for advice, or making some different friends and asking them.

Also, I'm going to find some way to work permavirgin into my vocabulary, it just makes me laugh for some reason.