I worry that some people think that I think I am closer with them than I actually think I am.

[Ambitiousmould]

Title make sense? Maybe not, so I'll bash out some context. Basically there's a group of people at Uni that I talk to. They only had the misfortune to wind up talking to me because we were put in the same group in our first year (at least some of them, a couple weren't but I'll not complicate this further).

However, they talk out side of uni, whereas the only reason I ever talk to them outside of uni is to ask them about some information regarding uni. I couldn't honestly say how close they all are, because of those reasons.

So I know that we aren't close. I'd use the word "classmates" but that sounds a bit primary school, and "colleagues" suggests that I've got my shit far more together than I do. The point is, I am worried that they think that I reckon we're closer than we are, and therefore think I'm a clingy, desperate weirdo. Which I'm not (I hope).

The reason I have this concern is that I'm a bit of an odd one out. They appear - to me, at least - to be socially adept, whereas I (to massively understate) am not. Another thing that makes me think this is that I don't speak formally unless absolutely necessary, and my informal speech (around people of the appropriate age) is very... familiar. Not in topic or specific content, I don't get personal or owt, but I swear a lot, use a lot of dry and dark humour and sarcasm, the kind of thing I think most people reserve for people they know well (I am aware that this is a bloody huge character flaw). I'm wondering if they mistake that for me thinking I have a closer friendship with them than I know to have.

I'm not looking for sympathy or owt, so my question is this: Am I overthinking this? Or is it a valid concern that I should try and subtly rectify? Also, should I have tried to curtail my worries by using a less familiar attitude in my speech? Am I actually just being a thick twat?

Explain it to me as if I'm really fucking stupid, because socially, I am.

 

[cdfgku]

Please forgive me if I am making light of this, but I am not sure there is a problem here. If you know these people and make conversation in passing then that is good and the expected social behaviour. The only way they would/should think of you as "clingy" is if you are constantly trying to hang out with them outside of uni, which if you aren't close may be a problem.

While I can't claim to know you, I would say from an outsider's point of view that you are overthinking it. Don't worry too much about it.

 

[Catnip1024]

You are massively overthinking it. Dealing with people on the course at Uni is pretty much always a case of putting up with people while you are in lectures, unless you happen to get a decent bunch in your very first group - because otherwise you will have a set of mates from your hall, or whatever. The other option is to sit in the corner not speaking to anyone. If you aren't asking to meet up outside of uni, I doubt anyone will think you are trying to be more pally than you are.

As for the swearing and familiarity, it's a regional thing. I moved down south a couple of years back, and the people are more prudish, don't swear as much, try not to show emotions, sort of thing. Don't worry about it, so long as there's no swear box.