So, trying to get new people, but not quite sure how to hit off a conversation. Whats some common ice breakers you use to get a conversation started?
Ice Breakers
- Thread starter Blackflame140
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It's easiest too meet new people through people you know. It's a lot easier to break the ice when you can divert any anxiety on your friend through a joke, and if they laugh about it they probably are enjoying meeting you.
For the solo missions, and i know they can be awkward, it's usually best to just smile, say hello, and ask some arbitrary question. Are you from around here? Oh what's it like there? Oh yea so what do you do for fun? Too funny, i do that too.
By this point the conversation has become casual and the back and forth should be pretty easy by now. Make jokes, tell funny stories, and above all be fun.
You can take visual queues from people too. If they look fit you can ask them if they workout... trust me people who work out love to talk about it.
It's mostly just about making that initial contact that's the hardest part. If you're awkward just roll with it. I do, works well for me.
For the solo missions, and i know they can be awkward, it's usually best to just smile, say hello, and ask some arbitrary question. Are you from around here? Oh what's it like there? Oh yea so what do you do for fun? Too funny, i do that too.
By this point the conversation has become casual and the back and forth should be pretty easy by now. Make jokes, tell funny stories, and above all be fun.
You can take visual queues from people too. If they look fit you can ask them if they workout... trust me people who work out love to talk about it.
It's mostly just about making that initial contact that's the hardest part. If you're awkward just roll with it. I do, works well for me.
Understand that chances are they are as awkward as you - maybe make some ironic statement about forced conversation, if you think they'll understand it. If they do, and laugh, then you've set yourself up as being smart AND funny, which is a major score for first impressions!
If not, just talk about the weather. You loser (kidding).
Like aPod says, take cues from people - if they wear a concert shirt, talk about it, but don't say "oh you like XYZ", because thats obvious, and looks like forced conversation. Instead say "I saw XYZ supporting ABC at LMN". Don't just say how you like the thing a lot to try and make a friend, because if they just happened to wear that shirt because it's laundry day, then you've come off as a fanatic. Say "yeah, they're alright, but have you heard QRS?". Talk about your own experiences, because it will make them far more comfortable. If both of you are too polite to talk about yourselves, then the conversation dwindles.
This transcribes into anything, languages, books, films, TV shows
Example Time!
New person has come from school to meet you and mutual friends in a pub. Putting their bags on the table, you see that they have a Latin book.
Bad Example:
You: I love Latin!
New Person: Really? I'm a bit bored of it really. I took the class because friends did, and I don't really like it
You: I mean, yeah it's alright, but parts of it can be boring
This shows you as not just a bit weird, but making a U-turn like that reeks of 'Like me'
Good Example:
You: Interested in Latin?
NP: Not really. I took the class because friends did, and I don't really like it
You: I find bits of it alright, but I prefer Russian myself
NP: Russian? Why?
And the conversation begins. You have shown that you have your own interests, rather than being a copy paste of them, and they are... interesting. And this is a good time to see if they are interested in talking to you. If they don't ask you anything, they might not want to talk to you, so don't push the conversation. However if they feel awkward but want to talk to you, then then they will jump on the chance like a starving man on a packet of crisps!
If not, just talk about the weather. You loser (kidding).
Like aPod says, take cues from people - if they wear a concert shirt, talk about it, but don't say "oh you like XYZ", because thats obvious, and looks like forced conversation. Instead say "I saw XYZ supporting ABC at LMN". Don't just say how you like the thing a lot to try and make a friend, because if they just happened to wear that shirt because it's laundry day, then you've come off as a fanatic. Say "yeah, they're alright, but have you heard QRS?". Talk about your own experiences, because it will make them far more comfortable. If both of you are too polite to talk about yourselves, then the conversation dwindles.
This transcribes into anything, languages, books, films, TV shows
Example Time!
New person has come from school to meet you and mutual friends in a pub. Putting their bags on the table, you see that they have a Latin book.
Bad Example:
You: I love Latin!
New Person: Really? I'm a bit bored of it really. I took the class because friends did, and I don't really like it
You: I mean, yeah it's alright, but parts of it can be boring
This shows you as not just a bit weird, but making a U-turn like that reeks of 'Like me'
Good Example:
You: Interested in Latin?
NP: Not really. I took the class because friends did, and I don't really like it
You: I find bits of it alright, but I prefer Russian myself
NP: Russian? Why?
And the conversation begins. You have shown that you have your own interests, rather than being a copy paste of them, and they are... interesting. And this is a good time to see if they are interested in talking to you. If they don't ask you anything, they might not want to talk to you, so don't push the conversation. However if they feel awkward but want to talk to you, then then they will jump on the chance like a starving man on a packet of crisps!
I go to bars and ask if it's okay to sit down with other people already in conversation and just join that one. The results vary from having wasted half an hour to having made some good aquentence that might become friends.
I think that the advice from the CHeezy one is better though.
I think that the advice from the CHeezy one is better though.
Hey, [insert positive comment about something in context], wha'cha you think?"Blackflame140 said:
Never failed me until now.
I tend to run up a lot of acquaintances in all the activities I end up helping out with, but when it comes to striking up a conversation cold I find something personalized to who you wish to speak to without getting too personal is best. Like if you notice their ringtone is "Hey! Hey, listen!" ask what they think of the latest news on Zelda. Or if they've got some indicative sticker or button on their bag, maybe a t-shirt, that's always a great place to start. "Hey, where did you get that cool _____!" is always a great place to start.
Ask her how much a polar bear weighs. When she asks, you tell her "Enough to break the ice!"
After you two have your gafaws, make some chit chat.
After you two have your gafaws, make some chit chat.
People are selfish and predictable. Wait until they mention something it sounds like they like, comment enthusiastically (but with some restraint) and watch to see how they react. If they genuinely like whatever subject they brought up, they will go on forever. Listen to them talk (providing intelligent and earnest feedback when appropriate) and mirror (don't mimic) their opinions on the matters at hand. Nod sagely at their "insightful beliefs", laugh at their jokes, and grimace during sad stories.Blackflame140 said:
This is how I get through life without ostracizing everyone. It works great for conversation starters and all the way through if you are morbidly shy (as I am
).
YOU: Does anyone know how much a polar bear weighs?Blackflame140 said:
NEW PEOPLE: No..
YOU: Enough to break the ice....
Ive used it in a couple of awkward situations...and it works to get the conversation started...
I usually break the ice with baked goods. Of course, if you're not a young, flour-coated girl with a big smile on your face and a plate of cookies, I can imagine people would be a bit skeptical.
Still, doing something to make yourself approchable can go a long way to your interacting successfully with others. When meeting new people, have good manners, and don't involve yourself in something that makes you angry.
Still, doing something to make yourself approchable can go a long way to your interacting successfully with others. When meeting new people, have good manners, and don't involve yourself in something that makes you angry.
I feel if i walk up with "sweets", they might find it suspiciousness to be given baked goods from an 18 year old male with a beard :/Erana said:
