If you could have the worlds undivided attention for 1 minute...

[BassamAF]

I am hoping this is a question people actually take some time to think about rather than people posting 'I would rickroll everyone'.


All right now, take a minute to think about this.
Assuming temporarily there was a way to get everyone in the world to focus on you for exactly one minute, and to actually understand exactly what you are saying, what would you say and/or do?

I actually bring this up from an old question I saw from reddit when they interviewed Astrophysicist Neil Degrasse Tyson: http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/bwe6j/neil_degrasse_tyson_answers_your_questions/
And I thought it was a really interesting question that would give some cool answers.

This was his reply if you don't feel like reading the entire thing.

"If you could get one minute of undivided attention from every single human being on this planet, what would you use it for?
I would tell them that the atoms of out bodies are traceable to stars that manufactured them in their cores and exploded these enriched ingredients across our galaxy, billions of years ago. For this reason, we are biologically connected to every other living thing in the world. We are chemically connected to all molecules on Earth. And we are atomically connected to all atoms in the universe. We are not figuratively, but literally stardust."

I honestly would probably stutter and mess things up, but if I do get the chance, I'd probably apologize to everyone I have met, and to people I would meet. Just to be on the safe side.

How about you?

 

[SomeLameStuff]

I would rickroll everyone! Hur hur hur!

Okay, okay...

I'd tell everyone what a douche Fred Phelps is. Its something EVERYONE should know.

 

[The Geek Lord]

Three words, and then maybe a tiny little sentence after that.
"YOU'RE. ALL. RETARDED." And then I'd tell them that we're no strangers to love, that they know the rules, and so do I etc.

 

[Lord Devius]

I'd say one sentence.

"Think for yourself, but never shy from thinking with others, for collaboration is what builds a better tomorrow."

After that I'd just run away because I get massive nerves when I have an audience of 20 people. 6 billion? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

 

[Zhukov]

EDIT: Oh, wait, I see now. The OP double-posted. Never mind then.

 

[Ranorak]

"Question Everything."
"....also...Oh Ee Oh Ah ah, Ting Tang, walla walla bing bang!"

 

[Blackadder51]

YOU KNOW I WISH I HAD JESSIE'S GIRL!!!

I would repeat that for a minute

 

[Shoggoth2588]

"CAN YOU DIG IT!?"

actually, I would encourage everyone to work on setting up colonies on Luna, Mars and, Quarian-style flotillas...THEN we can go back to killing each other with our Nuclear arsenals.

 

[rossable]

i would voice my authoritative agenda as the worlds new overlord, how freedom was a fallacy and the grand unification has brought about a better rule! MINE!!!

 

[PAGEToap44]

"Oh..... hey there everyone. You want me to say something? Actually I'm a bit busy right now, maybe some other time."

....

"No really, fuck off."

 

[CroutonsOfDeath]

Unfortunately this may take more than one minute, but I would at least attempt to do one of my favourite awkward interruptions: A reading of "The man who taught his arsehole to talk" from William S. Burrough's "Naked Lunch," although I always do it a la the movie adaptation, other people will be talking and then between breaths I interrupt them and just say it in a scary deadpan monotone and wait for their expressions. For those who have no idea, here is the movie version with the awkward interruption: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKk0eFiHYpg Uhm, I suppose I should say NSFW conversation. The visuals aren't NSFW, but the story is quite crass.

I guess I'd just have to try and tell it faster since I only have one minute.

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

I would probably flip everyone off.

I'm not smart enough to have anything worthwhile to say. I don't know anything about anything.
And besides, who WOULDN'T want to be the guy who flipped off the entire human race?

 

[Grayjack]

I would say some things regarding mainstream music and Modern Warfare 2. I'd rather not type it out, because I might get mod'rathed.

 

[Capt. Crankypants]

Make sure they don't watch fox news. Oh please god. The world would be so much better off.
Add 'A Current Affair' and 'Today Tonight' to that list. My fellow Aussies know just what I mean.

 

[Deleted]

I would tell everyone:

"attention citizens of Earth! The formula for eternal health has been discovered! This was important enough to contact everyone at once, so I ask you this: do you think you deserve to live forever? If you wish to have this free formula please consult your government as they are hiding it. Be glad I leaked this early, the project was planned to never be released but we can change that!

Then the world would go into chaos as people rebel against their government for their own selfish desire of immortality. Yes I like chaos, it gets my mind of real problems.

 

[Ophiuchus]

I'm pretty sure I'd quote something from George Carlin, on one of the many, many subjects that we seemed to completely agree on. The guy talked more sense than any other performer in history.

 

[fearofsleep]

suicide?
honestly thats an option i'd consider
i probably would end up saying some song quote..."i find it hard, its hard to find, oh well whatever, nevermind"

 

[Brightzide]

I'd probably panic and just sing some Enter Shikari and hope the message sinks in...and if that doesnt come to mind, soil myself and die...yup, thats about it.

 

[Ninonybox_v1legacy]

id probably just flip them all off call them all asholes and yell fuck you.

 

[Jack_Uzi]

Try to find as much known sponsors of all kinds of brands and stitch their logos on my suit. Then I would go public and tell I'm just a mere puppet in this spectacle, do a funny dance and leave.