I'm not really sure what to do now..

[Awkwardpenguin]

Hi folks![footnote]Just so it's said, I'm not new here, so you don't have to welcome me. I just made another account because of personal insecurity. Thanks [/footnote]

I am in a slight pinch at the moment, and I've been in this pinch for a couple of weeks now.
Thing is, it's about love and all that, so I won't blame you if you don't care.

Now let's get to the point, shall we?
I have been with my current girlfriend for almost half a year now, and I've been fairly happy, though I'm sort of a "single person" in mind[footnote]Meaning that I constantly think of the single-life.[/footnote]. I have not been crazily in love with her, and I almost feel like I'm bound to be with her due to she being a part of the group of friends I hang with all day. Now, I moved to go to school this year, and seeing as I couldn't find any place to live alone, her and I got an apartment together.

This has caused a lot of minor problems in my life until now:
- Since we live together now, I have to see her every day, and it has occured to me that that is a little bit too much for me really.
- Secondly, the honeymoon phase has been over for several months, and I am drawn (?) towards other girls, and here comes the third, and huge problem:

I AM FALLING FOR ANOTHER GIRL.
Yes, I am falling for another girl. This girl is particularily fantastic, as she fulfills all my requirements for the perfect girl: She is smart, funny, has the same kind of humour as me. She likes to talk, discuss, and she is fantastic in any other way too.

Now, this leads to my problem, which is that my current girlfriend won't break up with me any way whatsoever, and I'm sure that the girl I like are not interested in me at all. She rarely answers my texts or my Facebook chat messages[footnote]Just to add this: I do not spam her with messages and SMS', and I'm not a stalker, even though the post makes me look like one. I am a super social human being that likes to talk to a lot of people, so it just seems like innocent chatting.[/footnote].

And then came the fights:

My girlfriend and I had a fight this week. She claimed that I didn't pay enough attention to her when she was around (Note, we live together, she's around 24/7, and I was usually busy with other things), and a lot of other things.

Now I think we're getting somewhere, because I do get along with her pretty well even when she is currently hating me. She's not here this weekend either, so I finally get some personal space, and that if we decide to break up, at least I won't have a problem still living here. But her being a girl, she'll probably either try getting revenge by starting to date one of my friends, or being sobby and all that, even though she's realised a long time ago that this won't last.

Now, I don't know what else to write, so I'm going to ask you some questions, because I really need some help here:

What should I do, Escapists? I really like this new girl, and me and my girlfriend are on a self-destructive path, but I do not know how to end it. I guess I fear the unknown, seeing as if I break up with my girlfriend, the chances are very slim that I do get this other girl.
I repeat: What should I do?[footnote]And please, I do not need a fantastically long speech on how much of a horrible person I am. I already know that I'm going to hell for this, and that I am the worst boyfriend in history.[/footnote]

 

[Awkwardpenguin]

After all, you said you constantly think about the single life.

I might have expressed myself somewhat different than what I meant in my original post there. What I meant about that is that I have been constantly thinking about a life without being bound to the girl I'm with now. One of the reasons for that thinking is that this one girl I'm falling for is absolutely perfect for me. We sorta melt together when we hang out and all that, it's actually some sort of magical moment every moment I'm with that girl.

Also, I do not want her to break up due to me being passive-aggressive. I really want to make the first move and get over with it. It's just that I'm a really considerate guy that doesn't want to do anyone harm without them sorta knowing it. So if I suddenly break up with her, I feel that I'd done more damage to her than if we meet on the middle, settling it once and for all, if you know what I mean.

Also, my girlfriend has started being really angry with me lately, so I'm guessing our relationship will be over in maximum a couple of days, maybe the next week or so.[footnote]This is not me celebrating or betting on other peoples' feelings. It's just that we're growing more and more distant. We barely talk together, and it's heading for the drain in a rapid fashion.[/footnote]

 

[Galletea]

Chuck your girlfriend and move on.
I know it isn't as simple as it seems but you're denying yourself a life if you just make do with a girl you don't really want to be with.

You might just be interested in the other girl because she represents a sort of freedom that you long for. Whether you end up with this girl or not is entirely irrelevant to your situation really. If you're not in love with the girl you are with then it's unfair to you and it's unfair to her, because you won't have been giving her the attention and affection she deserves.

Who cares if she starts dating one of your friends? If they take advantage of her rebounding ways then that's up to them, and if you don't love her then she's unlikely to make you jealous, right?
If she cares about you then she will do the sobbing thing anyway. That's just how feelings work, if your really upset, then you cry and us ladies tend to do that a bit more. But she will get over it, and you can't feel responsible for her feelings if you don't want to be with her.

Just go for it and move on, cause you're obviously not happy where you are.

 

[Awkwardpenguin]

Chuck your girlfriend and move on.
I know it isn't as simple as it seems but you're denying yourself a life if you just make do with a girl you don't really want to be with.

I'm currently working on that, and it seems as my girlfriend is getting angrier at me every minute, but she tackles things professionally, so I think we'll be fine after a break-up when we talk to each other, but I know she'll hold grudges.

You might just be interested in the other girl because she represents a sort of freedom that you long for.

Now, this might be true, at least to some extent. But I have this feeling when I spend time with her that I simply haven't gotten with any other girl before, and I feel that we're sort of perfect for each other[footnote]Yay clichées![/footnote].
I've also had several moments with her where I just want to kiss her and shake off all my problems. She's just perfect in every single way. It's not the freedom-longing me speaking, as this is a completely new feeling. It's almost like a drug when I am with this other girl.

Who cares if she starts dating one of your friends?

Now, that's something I wouldn't like, as these friends of mine were my friends since long before I met my girlfriend, and we were a care-free and fantastic gang before the girls (My girlfriend and her best friend, that FYI has been together with several of my friends already, some of them are different now. Also, they make me seem like the villain in the gang, as their innocence softens up my friends.)

The mere thought of my girlfriend being with one in the gang, possibly making them turn against me, as she will probably hate me a little bit after the relationship will end just makes me sick, and I just want to get those girls out of the gang, as they're more problems than fun. There's one problem though, as my friends like them in the gang, and I don't. This is something one of my friends and I agree on. I consider him my best friend, and I've consulted him with my relationship-problem, and he says the same as you.

 

[smithy_2045]

Simply, by stringing her along when you aren't committed to the relationship is only going to make things worse. You have to tell her it's not working, before you hate each other.

 

[Awkwardpenguin]

I just spoke to my girlfriend over Skype-chat, where she copypasted a conversation with one of my friends, telling him all of her problems. There was one single sentence that stuck with me:
"I love him".

Now, I don't know if she uses this word to manipulate me and my friends into me being the villain, or if she means it, though it's probably the latter. This puts me in an awkward situation where I don't know what to do at all. I am so stressed out right now, can anyone help me?

 

[Batou667]

It's just that I'm a really considerate guy that doesn't want to do anyone harm without them sorta knowing it.

You... you really believe this, don't you? Let's see the case for the prosecution. You string along your poor girlfriend in a loveless relationship. You're cold and unresponsive to her. You're too insecure and clingy to let her go, but that doesn't stop you fantasising shamelessly about new and exciting women. You scheme about how to ditch your loyal and devoted girlfriend for some new piece of fluff, and yet you admit that you'd turn green with envy if she was able to move on and start a new relationship with another guy.

And here's the kicker. You're a REALLY CONSIDERATE GUY.

No you're not! You're a whiner. You're manipulative. You're neurotic and passive-aggressive. And you're staring down the barrel of being a cad and a cheat. To borrow a bit of online parlance, you are a "beta" - a self-styled eternal child, you demand to be mothered and indulged in equal measure, you don't take responsibility for your actions, and in every situation you're the victim because you confuse your weakness and inaction for being a "nice guy".

Wake up!