I'm trying to be a writer.

[SleepyOtter]

I'm trying to become a writer but unfortunately have a small number of people to view my written work. Any criticism our ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Click here [http://tinyurl.com/3c2zy2c] to view my tumblr post.

 

[Voration]

I read it but it felt like an extended poem over a short story. Your use of description is good but maybe too detailed to hold a readers attention. What type of writer do you want to be?

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

I liked it, it reminded me of the better short stories. I think you have the potential to write an entire novel that could be up there with Catcher in the Rye or even Tale of Two Cities, it just gives off that classic feel.

 

[SleepyOtter]

I admit this isn't really a short story and I have written other stories that are much longer and more of a "story" than this. I'm trying to be a Novelist and/or one of those professional bloggers.

 

[Tron-tonian]

Ok. First off, you are not *trying* to be a writer. You *are* or *are not* a writer.

Seeing as you're already at the point of self-publishing, this would indicate you *are* a writer.

Remember what the weird, green dude said about trying. ;-)

Anyways, post-modernist stuff isn't my thing, so I didn't really enjoy it. That doesn't mean it's not good - just not my preferred area of reading. As well, some of the word choice seemed forced and ill-fitting. It definitely needs an editors firm hand on it, because I can see some potential there. An above poster was right when they said it wavers between poetry and prose, though, and that shouldn't really be a question.

 

[ServebotFrank]

Be aware that being a writer for a living is hard. Really hard. You have to have a day job and everything unless you publish twenty books a year or get lucky. This is why I'm going for a minor in writing in addition to programming. I know it's not criticism but I want to give some realistic advice.

 

[SilentCom]

I found the story to be rather entertaining and artistically written. I liked how you divided each paragraph by minutes. I also loved the ending.

There was a slight error however, on the 3rd minute you had stated the man was sitting alone then in the next sentence said he was sitting with his friend:

"Three minutes to midnight. I turned to the counter near the entrance, there was a man sitting, alone. He had a light hooded jacket on, grey and black pinstripes aligned vertically on the coat. He was sitting with a friend of the same age..."

I'm not sure if you had stated this in purpose to illustrate the hooded man as being lonely or if it was just a slip of words.