Insult Swordfighting!

[General Mostly Electrified Steel]

Yes! The ultimate game, thankee.

And thankee, Al, for the idea.

It works like this. You have unlimited non-fatal powers, and superb skill with a blade. So you can kick ass. However! Your gods will look down on you if you can't engage in witty repartee while doing so, instantly rendering you as weak as a kitten.

I'll start.

I put on my robe and wizard hat, and coat my broadsword in sorcerous flames.

"Ha! You fight like a dairy farmer!"

Engarde.

 

[General Mostly Electrified Steel]

EDIT

Al beat me.

I summon a tangible forcefield around my torso, and bow to Al.

 

[Copter400]

*In a flurry of duel-wielding scimitars, Copter400 cuts Darth Mobius something fierce.*

And yo' mum knows all about ridin', doesn't she Mobius?

 

[Copter400]

*With half a rapier sticking out of his shoulder, Copter makes a pretty thin rebuttal.*

My boyfriend? Oh, you mean YO' MOMMA'!

 

[General Mostly Electrified Steel]

Fighting a war on two fronts, Gems calls on the powers of Jergal to infuse his blade with energy, before unleashing a whirling defence, throwing both Swift and Al backwards.

"Time to feed you some more humble pie, beggar!"

 

[Copter400]

*Seeing GMES in a moment of weakness, Copter stumbles to his feet and makes a desperate backstab in his general direction.*

Take your humble pie and stick it where the sun don't shine!

 

[Copter400]

*Having regained his strength, Copter makes a quick jab at Al*

He-man or she-man, Joeline?