Is the internet a lonely place?

[ladyhermes]

I've been pondering this one for a while. Obviously the internet is a massive tool for communication, but often I find myself dawdling on forums or blogs and it's really very lonely. For all the ways to extend to others and socialise online, especailly through gaming, can it really be compared to having a proper conversation with another individual or friendship? How easy do you find it to track down like-minded individuals to actually connect with?

I've got a few online contacts I've had for years. Some of these people have my phone number and they know everything about me, I turn to them for every problem in my life. But the other day one of these friends asked to meet. I'm in the uk and have known him for about 6 years, now we're both in our twenties this is entirely possible. But, as I've said, he knows every intricate detail about myself and I, him. I gently refused, because the whole attraction of having an online friend for me is that they are separate from my life. I wouldn't want to shatter the illusion. In fact, I have several usernames to make myself less 'googlable' to certain people. But I know some people fly all over the world to make true the connections they made on the internet.

So I was wondering what your experience is. Do you separate online friends from your reality, or do you see no difference? Would you ever meet with someone you met online? I used to have so many online friends, but nowadays I suppose I just don't know how to find people that are out there. Do you have close online friends?

 

[Anarchemitis]

I don't see very much difference between any one I have a decent conversation with online and any other person I can talk to on the street. Especially when I get into deep, complex and involved conversations with others online. The only thing that usually prevents me from taking such dense communications into actual contact is usually the physical infeasibility to travel to where they are, or have them travel to where I am.

 

[The_Waspman]

Yes, it is. I've had a few contacts over the years from the internet, and I'm also ashamed to admit I've done the online dating thing too. The problem is, you're not yourself on the internet. Or maybe a little too much yourself. As 'useful' as it might be to connect with people all over the world, when you boil it down, you're still sitting alone in front of a computer.

This is also why I despise sites like facebook with the fiery passion of a thousand suns.

 

[Robert Ewing]

It feels lonely because there is zero human interaction. If a computer had a face, and personality, that would be gone.

The internet is an improvement over traditional methods.

Letters - you went weeks or months at a time without a reply. The internet can get you replies flying across in fractions of a second.

Telephones - you don't have the benefit of facial feedback, tone of voice can be forced, its encumbering. Internet has smilies, Video chatting, and things generally come off rather well over the internet.

All of our 'shortcuts' for long distance communication seem incredibly lonely. But that's the point of it. The whole point of letters, phones, and internet communication is that you don't get off your arse and see who you want to speak to. Thus removing human interaction. It's something we have to deal with I'm afraid.

 

[chaosyoshimage]

Of course it's a very lonely place, but I'm a really lonely person, so I kind of see everything that way...

 

[smithy_2045]

The internet keeps me moderately sane.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

I agree, I'm only here to kill time in ECDL Class as they go over basic Mircosoft Excel

 

[Fenra]

All depends on perspective and mood for me that day as to whether I find it lonely or not. If I'm down or just plain feeling cynical I'll find it lonely and look on it and think "why am I doing this", then again that counts for everything not just the internet

And then the other side of the spectrum, on good days I'll look at it and think of what a great social tool it is and how connected I am to everyone. So many people I've met and so many friends I've made with it

Will admit though, there is always a disconnection from the online world and the real world and sometimes online I'm not always 100 percent myself, or I'm "too much myself" and say/do things I never would in person, but thats not all bad, its a constant reminder that the internet and the real world are 2 very different things and I wouldnt substitute the internet for the real world.

I'm still very much "me" online, the 2 worlds blend but I just catch myself acting differently online someitmes due to anominity or the lack of "face to face" interation which makes me more confident for some reason.

Still I guess it all comes down to what you want out of it, I mean you hear stories of people who cant leave the house who to them having that social contact has kept them going or of people who fell in love via the internet and went on to live happy lives together in the real world. (of course theres the darker side of things but I wont go into all that, everyone knows about that sort of thing)

Lonely? perhaps depending on your perspective but comes down to how you use it and what you want out of it.

Oh as for the meeting people you met online, I've done it 3 times, however I'm always very cautious, I've had other offers but turned them down. These people were all from England (for a start I cant afford plane tickets heh or to travel very far at all and I wouldnt want to just in case they did turn out to be "one of those" people and I have no easy way out or quick way to get home) and within a 20 mile radius of my home, all of them a sort of "small world" scenario where I was just as likely to run into them on the street or at a pub or something so was just another way to meet someone I was just as likely too without the internet.

Huh typed far more than I intended to there, sorry for the wall of text guys n gals

 

[Craorach]

It depends who you are, and what communities you are part off, and what you are wanting from them.

These days.. it can be quite... I don't tend to share much about myself with people I actually interact with often (Guilds, etc). Ironically, I post more about myself on forums than anywhere else.

But I met my wife online, and for the period we were getting to know each other and running a roleplaying website together I had many friends all over the world.

 

[Pinkamena]

Depends. It can be lonely in forums, where your reply will get lost in the other replies. But in chats, where everyone knows each other, its very nice. I'm a frequent user of two different chats, and I look upon the others in those chats as good friends. When you talk to the same people every day, you kind of forms a connection with them.

 

[RemuValtrez]

I will say the internet is a great place to meet like minded people. Much easier to find people that are like you on the internet than in the real world of course. But I also understand the thought that it can be lonely. It's not really a place to spend -all- of your time at in my opinion. It's great for spreading ideas and communicating with people, but the whole personal interaction bit is gone.

 

[Deadyawn]

I have no friends...Ah well!
But yeah I do understand where your coming from. I personally find it difficult to think of people on the internet as real people. As far as I'm concerned they're just a bunch of people who want to sell me stuff.

 

[Sack of Cheese]

I do meet up with a lot of new people I could never have met offline. I think I am closer to my online friends than offline ones, but sometimes it just isn't enough just sending text messages back and forth.
It really depends on how you view it.

 

[Esotera]

Yep, and paradoxically social networking sites are probably the loneliest place of them all. I don't think the internet should be drastically changed though, it fulfills its purpose.

 

[Joccaren]

Honestly, the internet is less lonely than IRL for me. All my RL friends are in chat in the games I play, or on Skype, or steam, and I talk with them more about things than I do when we catch up IRL. In addition, all the people that I meet online and become friends with makes it the obvious winner.
IRL, my friends and I talk about how bored we are with nothing but schoolwork to do, and I dislike anyone who isn't my friend because they lack immense amounts of knowledge in either RL theories or games, and thus I have nothing to talk to them about. They'd rather talk about TV shows and sports and parties instead. Each to their own, but PC games and theories on what makes up the Universe takes it for Me. Except for the Matrix, that is acceptable as well. Anyone can talk about the Matrix to Me. Me, Me, Me. (Me Too)