just venting

[chaosraptor]

yeah you dont have to reply to this or anything

been going out with a girl for about a month and i trusted her, then couple of days ago she just says shes back to going out with her ex, whos a complete #@&$£%@#&?£$ and never treated her with any respect, never made an effort and she said she was over him. so basically saying im second to a complete @&*% when ive been there for her all the time and helped her though everything, i gave her money when she needed it, ive been the shoulder to cry on, and she cant even explain to me why shes gone back to him. also my family doesnt talk to me any more, i still live at home so yes its an obvious thing, when i try and start a convosation they just ignore me, they dont tell me whats going on, if things are happening. NOTHING. and college is being extremely stressful at the moment cos were now in show season so theres tones of work to do and not enought time to do it.I havent been eating properly and ive now started cutting again which i know is bad but i cant find another way to cope with all this @#&$ thats been happening, it honestly feels like my lifes crumbleing around me. i know this really isnt the best place to be putting this to be honest but to hell with it i need somewhere to vent, no where in the real world to do it and i cant be bothered to creat another account on another web page

so yeah thats the jist of it i could go into more detail but wouldnt want to bore anyone whos reading this, and possible depress someone

 

[Daria.Morgendorffer]

If I may, you may have Nice Guy Syndrome.

I don't know you, so I can't say for sure. But here's the thing I do know: you're mad at her for an unfounded reason. She lied to you about her ex, wasn't over him, but you were only too willing to help her out, and you may be feeling entitled to her affections. But the problem is that you're not entitled. You're better off without her anyway, but I don't think you have any reason to be mad at her in the first place.

Okay, here's something I've learned over the years being "that chick" that cried on the shoulder of a guy only to have him turn around and act like I wanted to sleep with him (I didn't; but in my profession, there are few women to make friends with, so I thought I could make friends with guys, but that's a different issue for a different day), that, first and foremost, you never cry with someone you don't laugh with first. If you were only close because she was leaning on you it was because you may very well have taken advantage of her being vulnerable. She may even resent you for it. It sucks, yeah, but never get involved with a girl you don't see on equal terms. If she's only satisfied with you when she's leaning on you, she'll want something else when she's standing upright.

Just the voice of experience...

 

[Insanum]

Please dont think im being an asshat, but this is my first instict when i read your post. Ill break it down.

yeah you dont have to reply to this or anything

been going out with a girl for about a month and i trusted her, then couple of days ago she just says shes back to going out with her ex,

Right so she's left you after a month. I know its bad and rejection is never good, but its only a month, barely any time to properly get to know someone.

whos a complete #@&$£%@#&?£$ and never treated her with any respect, never made an effort and she said she was over him. so basically saying im second to a complete @&*% when ive been there for her all the time and helped her though everything, i gave her money when she needed it, ive been the shoulder to cry on, and she cant even explain to me why shes gone back to him.

She's made her choice dude. You dont have to like the guy, in fact it'd be kinda weird if you did. She's made her bed, she may get pregnant and be stuck with that asshat and bad decisions. Be smug, You had your fun, he's getting your seconds.

also my family doesnt talk to me any more, i still live at home so yes its an obvious thing, when i try and start a convosation they just ignore me, they dont tell me whats going on, if things are happening. NOTHING.

...why?

and college is being extremely stressful at the moment cos were now in show season so theres tones of work to do and not enought time to do it.

Try to schedule as best you can. i doubt that the college is putting superhuman constraints on you, but it should get easier. consider this 'crunch time' and soon you'll have time to do all the other stuff once college is out of the way. I tend to find Uni gets to me if i procrastinate, and can make me feel like im swamped when actually im not.

I havent been eating properly and ive now started cutting again which i know is bad but i cant find another way to cope with all this @#&$ thats been happening,

Ok thats a cry for attention. Get help if you self harm. In my (unprofessional) experience cutting is a cry for help/attention, and although the person usually thinks its either healthy or deserve it, they do not want to Die, which is what some like to insinuate. If you're going that far again contact your GP in confidence.

it honestly feels like my lifes crumbleing around me.

Talk to someone. Your best friends, Your family if any of them talk to you. get to the root of the problems, it may be that they hated that girl...well she's gone and so they should start listening to you. If you've been out of order lately, swallow your pride and apologise. You'll be the bigger man in the long run.

i know this really isnt the best place to be putting this to be honest but to hell with it i need somewhere to vent, no where in the real world to do it and i cant be bothered to creat another account on another web page

so yeah thats the jist of it i could go into more detail but wouldnt want to bore anyone whos reading this, and possible depress someone

You've put it in the advice section, so here's my advice:

1: Ignore that girl. She's made her choice and she's not worth the resources to persue
2:College is a temporary thing, try to schedule work times and work with regular breaks. Be self disciplined, and trust me thats the hardest bit.
3: Seek help regarding the cutting. I can almost guarantee it will not get you the attention/help you want off the people you want with actions like that. Professionals are the best option.
4:Eat humble pie with your parents/family, but remember.

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Also, Sleep. I tend to find im at my lowest when im tired.

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Just my two cents.

first and foremost, you never cry with someone you don't laugh with first.

P.S, Im stealing that quote, Its true.