Kids and your opinion of them

[Eclipse Dragon]

As someone who has in the past contemplated the possibility of never having children, I've encountered people who have... issues understanding that stance.

A doting mother chasing toddlers is not really a future I envision for myself. There are people who find joy in raising their children as the central purpose of their life, and I'm glad they've found happiness. If such a thing were to happen to me unexpectedly, I would love that child and do my best to raise them right, but if a doctor were to tell me I'm infertile, I wouldn't lose sleep over it.

I also don't hate kids, I could see myself being an eccentric art teacher, adopting, fostering or in a mentor type position, I just don't see myself as ever becoming a mom first and foremost and I cringe at the implication that I'm somehow selfish for thinking this way.

So Escapist, what is your opinion of children? Would you like some of your own one day? Can't stand being in the same room as them?

If you don't ever want kids why is that? Is it the society we live in, lack of finances or do you just not see it happening?

 

[Phasmal]

I'll probably be in the minority on here, but I love kids.
I'm going back into childcare work in January, with a goal of studying childcare more in the future.

I just find child development fascinating. You look at a tiny baby and you forget that there's an entire person in there, it's amazing to watch them develop.
I do want kids of my own, but not just yet. Which is kind of hard at the moment because a lot of people I know are having babies right now.

It's funny though, my best friend doesn't like kids at all. She doesn't "hate" them but she just doesn't connect with them at all and finds them awkward to be around. She doesn't want kids, but she'll be a great aunt.
I do think it's dumb that most women are just expected to automatically want kids.

Kids just aren't for everyone.

 

[happyninja42]

I have never felt any desire to directly procreate, but I do enjoy children, and I'm told I'm great with them.

I don't have any problems being around them, or babysitting them, or anything like that. I apparently can identify with them very easily, as kids love hanging around me. On average, if we're in a room of adults, the kids will eventually gravitate to me, wanting me to play with them, or for me to watch them play their video game or whatever. Which is fine, I have fun playing with them so no big deal.

But having my own children? Nah, never really something I've concerned myself with. I have 3 God Daughters and that's good enough for me.

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

It's funny though, my best friend doesn't like kids at all. She doesn't "hate" them but she just doesn't connect with them at all and finds them awkward to be around. She doesn't want kids, but she'll be a great aunt.

This is pretty much where I stand. I have a lot in common with my eight year old nephew, I mean he likes snakes, I like snakes, he likes video games, I like video games. I had a lengthy conversation with him at Thanksgiving about Minecraft and the awesomeness that is the Ender Dragon. I buy all the best toys for Christmas, but at the end of the day, I'm glad he's going home with my brother.

 

[Casual Shinji]

I'm not good with people in general, and kids require a certain attitude that is hard for me adopt (no pun intended). It's easy for me to be all goofy, playful, and baby talk to my dog, but to actual kids I just feel embaressed.

I don't mind kids, but I'm not good around them. Maybe if I had one of my own, but hopefully no child will be that unlucky.

 

[Scarim Coral]

To see myself having kids is a dream that would never happened to me for two reasons-

1. The world is pretty much fucked up (not just talking about Brexist or Trump. We got the whole Aleppo, racism is sky high, climate change and other shit going on around the world). I don't want to bring a child into that world especially when us generation is still trying to fixed the past generation problem but unable to fix the present and thus the cycle repeat with the new generation.

2. I would have to sacriface my gaming life to raise a kid. I starting to see why people give up gaming in order to raise a child. The last thing I want is to be branded as a bad father and sentence to jail cos my child died of neglect when I was gaming or the child died cos of gaming. Ok technically yes I know some people are able to balance the two and I guess tablet games are the way to go if have a kid.

Also another bonus is I haven't fallen in loved with a woman and I see myself to be forever alone. Also I dount they allow adoption to single person?

Just to be clear, if I was married to the loved of my life and the world somehow get better (not asking for a perfect world, just a world where finical and ecomonical were stable and humanity were more friendly and less hostile to each other) then I would consider having a child. Well ok in that situation, I will have to consider my finance too (have the money to support my child and paid for stuff)!

 

[Thaluikhain]

Raising a kid is a massive and long term responsibility, not to be entered in lightly. The idea that everyone ought to do so and hope for the best...no.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

I have no paternal instinct whatsoever. When a baby cries, its just shrill and hurts my ears, but no "To the rescue!" instinct kicks in. I just glare at the parents until they're so uncomfortable they finally shut the thing up.

Having said that, the flip side is I don't really view kids as kids. I see them as little adults worthy of due consideration and complete honestly. Which is another reason I'd be a terrible parent.
"Daddy, look its a doggie!"
"No, its a shitpile of dry pasta and too much glue. Not only is it not a dog, its not even a close representation of a dog.

"Daddy, is Santa real?"
"How old are you again?"
"4"
"No, he's fake. So is the Easter Bunny, tooth fairy and there's no way to prove God either, so guess who gets to sleep in Sunday!"

"Look Daddy, its Snow White!"
"No, its a part-time Hooters waitress 'working her way through medschool'. And the dude in the Mickey Mouse costume is hammered on vodka shooters."

 

[Aerosteam]

I'd love to have a kid one day. Just one. Multiple kids is a little too much to think about. Definitely not any time soon, I'm only 20, maybe around 30 I'm think about it more.

 

[Sonmi]

Babies and toddlers stress me out, I'm apparently good with kids though.

Coming from a somewhat large family with a considerable age gap between every child means I've had a bit of experience taking care of kids and young teen as an adult. I'm mostly good with having them do schoolwork and study, though the task is made far easier for me due to the extra authority that being an adult sibling grants me.

I suppose I'd like having kids if I'm ever in the position where having them wouldn't be too demanding. No clue how I'd fare as a parent though, I've inherited my father's somewhat cruel sense of humour though (which resulted in one of my little sisters having quite a few issues), I'd hope it wouldn't get in the way of good parenting.

Currently set to be an uncle/godfather, I'll see how that turns out first.

 

[the December King]

Two years ago I wasn't a dad.

Back then, I was pretty ambivalent about kids. Before that, I was generally adverse to associating with children- but when needs must, I was able to entertain them sometimes. I'm not saying that I was great at relating with kids, but drawing silly pics, making coloring books for their birthdays and having fun with art projects and stuff made me happy and them happy, so win-win.

Now I am a dad. And the lesson now is: my fun is dead, and I live to clean poop and bear witness to tantrums.

I am joking, but it does change priorities. I still get a little "me" time for recreation/games, and a little time with my better half, but it has been curtailed markedly, and I haven't had the time nor the drive to make something for myself (3D model, or digital artwork, or little games, or painting- stuff like that) in over a year, for example. When I get antsy enough, I reckon I'll find the time to do something for myself, but it's not easy.

I'm getting this out of the way as a caveat for the otherwise, more or less, great fun I am having with my son.

 

[Smithnikov_v1legacy]

Not fond of them, at all. Considering my job puts me front and center at the damage they do on a daily basis, certainly doesn't endear me to them.

For some reason, they LOVE me though! Seriously, kids of most any age open up to me with zero effort and wanna talk to me. My wife says it's because I don't talk down to them, but eh, who knows...

 

[JoJo]

Too early to say if I'll have any of my own, but generally I find them a bundle of fun and good company. Recently had an eight-year-old show me the crossword he was working on, he conspiratorially told me that he had written a 'rude word' in. Turns out the rude word was 'stupid' :-D

 

[Elvis Starburst]

I can't imagine it. Any time I hear a kid scream, cry, or just be loud and annoying with stuff like "MOOOOM! Check out this thing!" and then repeat it 16 times with the mom ignoring him/her, hoping the kid will catch on that she doesn't care (Which they never do, the buggers), it simply irritates me. I can't stand them being loud in places like restaurants, movie theaters... hell, even just public sometimes. Long lines at the grocery store are only emphasized by a kid being obnoxious halfway across the store. I can't believe I can hear them from that much distance, it's frustrating.

I also can't fake enthusiasm for kids. Not well, at least. I maybe give a "Oh, cool" but I feel so dumb being all "That's AMAZING little man! You're so good at drawing!" when it looks like scribbles and maybe a giraffe.

The last few reasons I don't really want kids is because I think I'd mentally break with the responsibility, lack of sleep... The amount of money you need to put into a kid is money I would prefer for myself, and I don't want to give up gaming or anything. There's enough people in this world. If I ever reach my 30's or 40's, I'd rather adopt or something

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I love children and the excitement of talking to someone who hasn't become a complete jaded ponce. Has to do with my current film student crowd but a little positivity and spontaneous joy is nice from time to time.

As for fathering? I know I'm capable of doing it right now but it comes down more to finances. I can't in good conscience be a Dad while not being able to give my kid the same amount of opportunities my parents gave me. Also my partner has a say in this and that cannot be a onesided choice.

 

[sageoftruth]

Most of the time, I loathe them. Their voices drive me nuts, and their lack of consideration for, well, anything strikes a nerve with me. Whenever someone brings one near me, it's like he's carrying an active bomb and I just can't relax, because I know shit's probably going to go down at some point, but when?

The thought of having to take care of one terrifies me. I make a big deal about treating others with the same courtesy I'd expect to be given myself, and being in public with a child sounds like a nightmare where I must choose between appeasing and spoiling my child or breaking that golden rule and letting the kid throw a tantrum in front of everyone.

Still, there have been moments where I've been able to appreciate the joy of having one. I received a picture from a friend, showing him with his family and his two kids, and I can see how neat it must feel to know that you made that kid who he or she is. Of course, I've got a lot of personal hangups to get through if I ever intend to go there.

My sister's getting married soon. If I ever want kids, I'll make do with being an uncle.

 

[Zhukov]

*shrug*

They're just small inexperienced people. Some of them are right little shits, some of them are great, most of them are somewhere in between.

Never had trouble getting along with them. All one need do is display a bit of interest and curiosity. Y'know, like you would with any other person.

That said, not in any great hurry to have any of my own. They're a lot of work, a lot of stress and a lot of money.

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

They go quite well with a slow baked lasagne and some Portuguese red. It's a once a year thing to avoid arousing suspicion though.

But on a more socially acceptable level, used to not be keen on them or the idea of them during the more mopey, depressive, self-absorbed previous lives. But now a lot of time has passed and much experience has been fruitfully absorbed, along with somehow acquiring a li'l baby sister and an even li'ller baby niece has allowed me to be more comfortable and they're far too easy to impress, so at least I feel useful being able to entertain them by acting even dumber than usual. Have thought about the future a lot in that regard. But whether adoption or otherwise, it would be pretty far off as am presently in a crumbly rocky psychological place that wouldn't be fair on any human in my presence for longer than a day. I can sense the judgemental frowns of disapprovement from Nan-bear as they look to me for more cubs. If you want males, you aren't getting any, Nan! This isnt the damn 50s!! [small]Although with the Tories doing their thing, am starting to doubt that more and more each day.[/small]
Ahem. Oh.

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

Do not want.

I like to have time to myself. I don't feel any need to create a being that I'd have to take care of. I'm wary of even getting pets of my own because I don't want to invest the time in them. If I had a kid I'd take care of them, but since I don't right now I see no reason to create an additional responsibility for myself

 

[Gordon_4_v1legacy]

I'm pretty fond of my twins, but I did have serious concerns about my abilities as a dad prior to their birth.