Life advice

[ch0pstixZ]

First backstory.

So this last 18 months have been pretty tough on my mum. She had a bleed in the back of her brain in 2010. Then 1 year later she had an epeleptic seizure. A non epeleptic person having an epeleptic seizure isnt all that uncommon, it stemed from bleed the previous year. The doctors told her no driving for 6 months. Sadly my parents live half an hour out of town, so my brother and myself (both full licenced) were doing the rounds for her. Which is fine by the way, I'm more then happy to do it. Two days before she was to get back behind the wheel she had another seizure. As you could imagin this broke her heart. So my brother and myself were called upon once again. Fingers crossed she gets back in a car June 1st from memory.

Now about 5 months ago a mate of mine moved from the small town I currently live in to Melbourne. (6 hours away) Over new years he came back to catch up with us, and while here he offered me the other room in the house he currently rents. He did so because its always been a goal of mine to move to Melbourne.

The advice I need is, given my mum's history Should I go? I have told myself that if she doesn't have another turn between now and when I think im moving, I will most likely go. I mean you gotta live your life, but what if im gone and she has another turn? I can't drop everything and move back. Can I?

 

[Nickolai77]

You may want to consider what kind of job you've got at the moment and wherever you would get a better one in Melbourne. Also, what does your mother and brother think of this? Regarding your mum though, i think it's very reasonable of you waiting and seeing if she doesn't have a seizure and then going to Melbourne. Obviously you need to look out for your mum, but you need to live your own life as well.

 

[aPod]

Well, for me, it was always family first. You need to live your life, but you're going to have plenty of time to live that life. There's no need to rush it, especially if your family needs you. I know I've had to sacrifice myself, and it's not easy, but it'll be a decision you'll only regret in the most minute ways. If at all.

 

[Angie7F]

For me it was family first too.
I got myself a great job, moved away from my parents, and then my mom went crazy (menopause), my dad has always been half paralyzed from a stroke and I thought I was doing the right thing to give up my job and move back home.
i thought, I can always get another job, life is long, but I only have one mom and dad and I should take care of them the way they have taken care of me.

Well, now I think differently.
There are only very few opportunities in life.
if you miss it, you may never get another shot ever again.
You can regret the smallest decision for the rest of you life and keep thinking "If I had chosen to do that, my life may have been different"

My shrink said to me "You dont have to take care of your parents.
They have lived their life already, its your responsibility to live yours now.
They are adults and they can take care of themselves.
it is not your responsibility to make them happy"
I didnt believe in one word of what the shrink said to me back then,
and I know many people will strongly disagree to it too.
But I now understand that to be independent, you need to be selfish sometimes too.
And its true. My parents have a great time as a young married couple,
had good careers, had kids, bought a home, etc etc.
I havent done anything yet.
The concept has been killing me and i have struggled with it for years now,
but if you can accept it, I think it can make life a lot easier.

If you have a good reason (ex. you have an ambition and it can only be fulfilled in Melbourne) then I think you have the right to go.
If you are just moving because you feel like it, then I am not so sure.

Talk about it with your brother and parents.
Really think about what career options you have out there and how it can be beneficial to your future.
If u can find answers to that, you should be able to figure out what the right thing to do is for you.