Life changing advice

[Flutterguy]

Well recently I worked with a fairly weird person. He held his serious expression and tone while telling me how some recent advice he claimed had changed his life..

Someone a few days prior had told him to stop forcing out his poops, to take his time, lean forward intermittently and rock back and forth. Claims he has been more relaxed then ever, and how so many other things have started falling into place.

I even shared some of knowledge with him to his amusement. I told him if he plans on showering afterwards he does not need to wipe. He was quite happy to find this out. The next day telling me how marvelous it all felt.

Well, does anyone else have some pearls of knowledge they are willing to share? Empower us with your knowledges!

 

[Rose and Thorn]

I was eating cheesy pasta while I read this, thanks.

I always have a fear of giving other people any "reaL" advice, because if the advice makes things worse it is my fault. I can give simple things like, don't belittle people, help older people off of trams and don't swallow gum, but to me that seems like stating the obvious.

The people that have given me life changing advice in my life weren't "trying" to give it. I just looked up to them and learned from them just by listening and seeing. I feel like I am too young to give advice of any importance, like I don't have the right.

I guess my advice could be, don't be afraid to look however you want, wear socks with sandals if you think it looks good and fuck what the other humans think. Do what makes you happy in life as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else is my motto.

And allow yourself to form your own opinions.

 

[Doclector]

Never bring your bank card out with you when you'll be drinking. I've seen that mistake be the death of many a student loan.

 

[Lynx]

- Don't drink and text. Or, if you do, only text other drunk people.
- Don't buy protein powders, heaps of vitamin pills or other workout supplements. They're bullshit. (Or: Never trust anyone who's trying to sell you something.)
- Listen to the people who care about you.
- Never put a blanket over an owl.

 

[LetalisK]

"Go fuck yourself".

I was told this when I was 13. I have been following this advice, vigorously, for my entire life since then.

 

[M0rp43vs]

Before you enter the real world on your own, learn to cook. It's much cheaper in the long run if you know what you're doing. It is often healthier. And chicks/dudes/tickwhereapply are attracted to people who can fill their stomachs, especially if prepared personally for them. Also, for some people, it is actually very calming and relaxing, repetitive motions and all that.

Jeans can go without washing much longer than other articles of clothing.

Even if you are shy/introverted as I was before, consider going out networking and socialising when you get the chance anyway. Like it or not, who you know is important in life and its nice to have someone who likes you enough to pull at least a few strings for you. At the very least, it's nice to have someone who you can eventually talk into a mariokart match/sports tournament/orgy/LARP session if they aren't already into it. Try to stick with dives you are comfortable with, don't go straight into swingers bars and such unless you are already a regular there. Anywhere you frequent besides your home(unless you have roommates) make good place for meeting new people.

Incidentally shyguys, I know that its annoying when morons tell you to just "be confident" as if it would magically erase all traces of insecurity and inexperience. However, do not hold it too much against them, for they are merely ignorant. Just tell them to be more liquid and chastise them for not trying hard enough if they complain. However, their advice is somewhat sound, merely worded wrong. Fake being confident. Pretend that you own the place, act just shy of narcissism without dipping into douchebag. Now this will take practice as with all things, I recommend starting with just making eye contact and giving a non-verbal cue of greeting(a soft nod and eyebrow raise is a subtle greet in Asia) and go up from there. Eventually with enough practise, you will go from faking confidence to actually being confident without noticing.

 

[M0rp43vs]

- Don't buy protein powders, heaps of vitamin pills or other workout supplements. They're bullshit. (Or: Never trust anyone who's trying to sell you something.)

Cannot second this quite hard enough. To add to it:if it sounds too good to be true, it is. specifically, a scam is what it is.

 

[Eddie the head]

Most people don't give a fuck about you. I think a lot of people need to know that.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Well recently I worked with a fairly weird person. He held his serious expression and tone while telling me how some recent advice he claimed had changed his life..

Someone a few days prior had told him to stop forcing out his poops, to take his time, lean forward intermittently and rock back and forth. Claims he has been more relaxed then ever, and how so many other things have started falling into place.

I even shared some of knowledge with him to his amusement. I told him if he plans on showering afterwards he does not need to wipe. He was quite happy to find this out. The next day telling me how marvelous it all felt.

Well, does anyone else have some pearls of knowledge they are willing to share? Empower us with your knowledges!

That shit advice is pretty sound advice. One will avoid hemorrhoids and anal fissures that way.

 

[kurupt87]

- Don't buy protein powders, heaps of vitamin pills or other workout supplements. They're bullshit. (Or: Never trust anyone who's trying to sell you something.)

Cannot second this quite hard enough. To add to it:if it sounds too good to be true, it is. specifically, a scam is what it is.

On the scams, agree entirely.

On the protein supplements and whatnot, it depends what you're expecting them to do. If you're expecting them to do something, then you've been scammed. If you're using them as an incredibly cheap way to go from 2/3 meals a day to the 5/6 needed to be bulking, then you're ok. And don't buy from China.

OT: I can't think of any of my own, though I am definitely going to try out this new excretion technique.

 

[FPLOON]

Never dwindle your creativity

The first time one of my formal school teachers ever got personal with me, in terms of what I wanted to do with my life...

 

[Kuilui]

Learn to say yes for it is far to easy to say no. My other bit of advice is don't expect the world to just give you things. It drives me up a wall when people are like "Don't worry eventually you'll get (x) or do (x) just relax it'll happen in its own time." Biggest load of bullcrap I've ever heard in my life and I see it way to often. You want something, go after it or don't expect to get it at all. Your not the star of your own movie, the world doesn't care if your lonely or broke or whatever.

 

[M0rp43vs]

excretion technique.

On that topic: ball your hands into a fist and use it to rub up and down along your lower back to massage any shy lumps out. Learned it from a weird webcomic and, placebo or not, does work somewhat.

On the thread topic: Remember that licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets

 

[BoogieManFL]

Hmm.. Quite a few, really.. Not all are advice, some are just learned by significant experiences. Some of the more commonly practiced ones:


Be very wary of anyone selling something.
-A good salesman can make you want to trust/believe in them.. The day you buy a new car is a big day for you. But for them, it's just Tuesday.

You usually get what you pay for.
-Buy something cheap, and that's probably how well it's made.

The above is not always true, but it is more often than it's not not.

Analyze your decisions, but don't make a habit of second guessing yourself.

Don't trust someone to really care about your situation when it's their job to "care". Follow your instincts.
-Pep Boys (a big car product/repair chain) significantly damaged my car during a trivial routine job, and promised to fix it. They sort of did, but they ended up doing such a terrible job that numerous problems related to the areas they worked on cropped up steadily afterward, and after they were legally absolved of any more responsibility. I should have followed my instinct to have my dealership fix it and make them pay for it, but instead I gave them the "chance to make amends". Never again will I make such a mistake. Screw that place. So. Very. Hard.


And the most memorable to me..

The most difficult challenge in life is living up to your own potential.

 

[Vegosiux]

You usually get what you pay for.
-Buy something cheap, and that's probably how well it's made.

My father phrased that as "You're not rich enough to buy cheap stuff."

The most difficult challenge in life is living up to your own potential.

I'd say that's the second most difficult one. The most difficult one is recognizing it.

 

[Phasmal]

Useful advice... hmmm...

-Don't waste energy trying to please people who have already made up their mind to dislike you.

-Don't pour fat down the drain.

-Unless it's something that hurts someone, don't be ashamed of liking what you like.

-If you are in a relationship with someone who doesn't like the same pizza as you, get two frozen ones and cut them in half and stick the two different pieces together and cook it. Frankenpizza.

 

[Bestival]

I'm gonna share one I told to a coworker once, which I always thought was pretty logical, but blew his fucking mind.

When you try to figure out how many hours have passed, or how many hours you've worked, for example, just do it in military/digital time.
Figuring out the difference between 700 and 1700 is way easier than mentally counting how many times the little hand went round.

 

[Padwolf]

All I can really say is "Think before you speak". I wish I listened to it more. Think about what you are going to say and why you are going to say it.

If you don't know the answer to something, just say "I don't know".

 

[Movitz]

The world doesn't owe you anything.

If you take this to your heart, you will be able to handle the world much better and be more content and thankfull for what you do have in your life.

 

[ViridianV6]

Learn to cook early in life, it will save you a tonne of money and never stops being practical.