I have little knowledge of how often this sort of topic arises, or how well informed frequenters of the forum are on the subject, but I do feel like I am very much in need of some form of assistance.
I am male, in my mid twenties. I am obese, thirty five to fourty kilos overweight to be more exact (roughly 85 to 90 pounds, if the converter is right). I grew up a fairly athletic kid, right up until puberty hit and I lost any and all interest for sports. From then on I grew steadily in weight, without giving the matter much attention, as I had a fair few other issues to tend to; it had never been too serious in any case, just a few extra kilos in, nothing that I could not lose with some effort.
But then, college hit.
During my equivalent of middle and high school, I had consistent, weekly PH classes which kept me from derailing completely, as much as I hated the bloody thing. By my seventeen years of age, I had put almost the whole amount of the weight I reported earlier. But as I ditched those PH classes in favour of a much, much more sedentary lifestyle in college, I started putting on weight again, as can be expected. Ten kilos more, give or take. And I have not fluctuated at all from the 110 kilo bar for five years.
Until this year.
I am getting bigger again. While I recognize I have been rather sloppy with my diet of late, basically ordering quite a bit of pizza in, it's just not something I am used to taking note of, and I confess it's scaring me quite a bit. I've kept to a certain weight and even gotten comfortable with the fact that I am fat. My rich yet non-fast-food diet and my very sedentary lifestyle kept me heavy, true, but haven't given me any health problems of note, apart from what you would expect from someone who is far below shape. So when this bump in the scale of five kilos more was revealed during Christmas, it was a slap to the face. Even moreso when I have begun to notice my movements are more restricted than my usual, and those old social fears I used to feel a while ago, that fear of stepping out the room door because someone will judge, insult and demean the fuck out of me, have begun to crop back. Which, of course, only perpetuates my inertia.
I have tried losing weight before, trying to gain healthier habits and a taste for exercise, and while it had some remarkable success (I lost 8 kilos in one month, with nothing more than a stricter diet and nigh-daily exercise), it failed to ingrain any habits in me. Between the absolutely contradictory knowledge I get shot at by all manner of professionals and media, the absolute lack of any friends who might actually help me in a positive, encouraging fashion, my distaste for exercise and sports, the stress of classes and the lack of money to invest in personal trainers and a gym (which scare the hell out of me anyways, as most such places tend to do), I am in very much a pickle.
So I come to you, fellow Escapists, to ask you of good ways I can vanquish this particular demon in a sustainable way. Because no one else I've talked to seems to have a straight answer. And while it may seem I provide the answers already in this very post, the reason why I write all this in the first place is because I am scared. Scared of having this weight gain spiral out of control completely, of not managing to rein in my body's impulses, of having my self-esteem be ground to dust by the eyes of strangers every time I step out the building door or look at my mirror. I need help in getting out of this vicious cycle. Maybe you have the words of advice for it.
I am male, in my mid twenties. I am obese, thirty five to fourty kilos overweight to be more exact (roughly 85 to 90 pounds, if the converter is right). I grew up a fairly athletic kid, right up until puberty hit and I lost any and all interest for sports. From then on I grew steadily in weight, without giving the matter much attention, as I had a fair few other issues to tend to; it had never been too serious in any case, just a few extra kilos in, nothing that I could not lose with some effort.
But then, college hit.
During my equivalent of middle and high school, I had consistent, weekly PH classes which kept me from derailing completely, as much as I hated the bloody thing. By my seventeen years of age, I had put almost the whole amount of the weight I reported earlier. But as I ditched those PH classes in favour of a much, much more sedentary lifestyle in college, I started putting on weight again, as can be expected. Ten kilos more, give or take. And I have not fluctuated at all from the 110 kilo bar for five years.
Until this year.
I am getting bigger again. While I recognize I have been rather sloppy with my diet of late, basically ordering quite a bit of pizza in, it's just not something I am used to taking note of, and I confess it's scaring me quite a bit. I've kept to a certain weight and even gotten comfortable with the fact that I am fat. My rich yet non-fast-food diet and my very sedentary lifestyle kept me heavy, true, but haven't given me any health problems of note, apart from what you would expect from someone who is far below shape. So when this bump in the scale of five kilos more was revealed during Christmas, it was a slap to the face. Even moreso when I have begun to notice my movements are more restricted than my usual, and those old social fears I used to feel a while ago, that fear of stepping out the room door because someone will judge, insult and demean the fuck out of me, have begun to crop back. Which, of course, only perpetuates my inertia.
I have tried losing weight before, trying to gain healthier habits and a taste for exercise, and while it had some remarkable success (I lost 8 kilos in one month, with nothing more than a stricter diet and nigh-daily exercise), it failed to ingrain any habits in me. Between the absolutely contradictory knowledge I get shot at by all manner of professionals and media, the absolute lack of any friends who might actually help me in a positive, encouraging fashion, my distaste for exercise and sports, the stress of classes and the lack of money to invest in personal trainers and a gym (which scare the hell out of me anyways, as most such places tend to do), I am in very much a pickle.
So I come to you, fellow Escapists, to ask you of good ways I can vanquish this particular demon in a sustainable way. Because no one else I've talked to seems to have a straight answer. And while it may seem I provide the answers already in this very post, the reason why I write all this in the first place is because I am scared. Scared of having this weight gain spiral out of control completely, of not managing to rein in my body's impulses, of having my self-esteem be ground to dust by the eyes of strangers every time I step out the building door or look at my mirror. I need help in getting out of this vicious cycle. Maybe you have the words of advice for it.