I was watching the LoTR movies again recently, and dammit if I didn't get hungry watching them eat Lembas Bread. Tasty (I assume), light, crisp snack food is always appealing and it bothers me to no end that there are no elves around I can force to make me some.
That leaves you people. And no, I don't want to know about it if you think you are an elf.
So make me some Lembas Bread! And yes, I'll share it with people here at The Escapist office, assuming they ask nicely and look like they're all out of second breakfast ingredients (and yes, some of us here eat second breakfast, and third, and fourth...).
Ideal Goals:
Light: Not only because it needs to be easy to carry on long treks through Mordor, but because we don't want to gain fifty pounds every time we break from Mass Effect 2 for a snack.
Crisp: No one likes limp, chewy elvish pastries. No one.
Tasty!: It's hard to get a pick-me-up when facing the Dark Lord if your survival repast tastes like the unwashed bottom of an unhygienic Uruk Hai. Instead, I imagine the elves are big fans of sweet, buttery goodness.
Long Lasting: These need to survive treks for weeks over unforgiving terrain. It's no good if they go moldy or taste like hobbit feet after a day. Some things get BETTER when they get stale. Aim for that!
No poison: On the slim chance that someone DOES bake a Lembas Bread tastealike, AND packs and sends it to us to nibble on, we would appreciate it if it didn't contain laxatives, poisons or anything else that would make us dead, in fact....
The Recipe!: If you stumble across the Holy Grai--- err, The One Ring of snack food while experimenting, by all means keep it as a family secret. But if you want to engage the Human Collective, feel free to post your recipe so others may try, and try to improve it.
Nutritious: Okay, this is at the bottom of the list, because I know this isn't a magic-filled world. If you managed to get everything else I asked done AND made it nutritious, you wouldn't be shipping it to me to eat, or posting about it on the forums. You'd be patenting the recipe and getting rich. You baron-elf of the food industry, you. And I wouldn't blame you. While it was important for Frodo and his too-comfortable companion Samwise to have highly nourishing victuals to sustain them on their quest, I just need something to sustain me while I level up. So, while it would be sweet, I won't hold you to this one.
Alright would-be elves and Middle Earth bakers, get to work! For my own part, I'll be trying to steal root veggies from Farmer Pitt's carrot field. Om nom nom!
-Landslide
PS. Pics of success and failures plz.
That leaves you people. And no, I don't want to know about it if you think you are an elf.
So make me some Lembas Bread! And yes, I'll share it with people here at The Escapist office, assuming they ask nicely and look like they're all out of second breakfast ingredients (and yes, some of us here eat second breakfast, and third, and fourth...).
Ideal Goals:
Light: Not only because it needs to be easy to carry on long treks through Mordor, but because we don't want to gain fifty pounds every time we break from Mass Effect 2 for a snack.
Crisp: No one likes limp, chewy elvish pastries. No one.
Tasty!: It's hard to get a pick-me-up when facing the Dark Lord if your survival repast tastes like the unwashed bottom of an unhygienic Uruk Hai. Instead, I imagine the elves are big fans of sweet, buttery goodness.
Long Lasting: These need to survive treks for weeks over unforgiving terrain. It's no good if they go moldy or taste like hobbit feet after a day. Some things get BETTER when they get stale. Aim for that!
No poison: On the slim chance that someone DOES bake a Lembas Bread tastealike, AND packs and sends it to us to nibble on, we would appreciate it if it didn't contain laxatives, poisons or anything else that would make us dead, in fact....
The Recipe!: If you stumble across the Holy Grai--- err, The One Ring of snack food while experimenting, by all means keep it as a family secret. But if you want to engage the Human Collective, feel free to post your recipe so others may try, and try to improve it.
Nutritious: Okay, this is at the bottom of the list, because I know this isn't a magic-filled world. If you managed to get everything else I asked done AND made it nutritious, you wouldn't be shipping it to me to eat, or posting about it on the forums. You'd be patenting the recipe and getting rich. You baron-elf of the food industry, you. And I wouldn't blame you. While it was important for Frodo and his too-comfortable companion Samwise to have highly nourishing victuals to sustain them on their quest, I just need something to sustain me while I level up. So, while it would be sweet, I won't hold you to this one.
Alright would-be elves and Middle Earth bakers, get to work! For my own part, I'll be trying to steal root veggies from Farmer Pitt's carrot field. Om nom nom!
-Landslide
PS. Pics of success and failures plz.
