So the other day in a Reddit thread which I will leave unnamed (in order to preserve the sanity of everyone here) I witnessed the usual "Men treat women only as sex objects/ want to have sex all the time but only want women to have sex with just them so they're hypocrites" argument we've all seen a dozen and a half times now pop up.
And the response led me again to ask something I feel isn't ask enough; why are men blamed consistently for something that is a logical outcome of their lives?
Most cultural anthropologists/sociologists and psychologists would agree that the male's life in basically all cultures (modern and ancient) is defined by competition and success/failure. Men, in nearly all cases, are constantly, willingly or not, in a state of competition against their immediate peers and in a less direct way all men in their society. They're defined (or broken) by what they can achieve/can do, and having sex is one of those milestones/achievements.
It's essentially a statement that says "I am either socially capable AND/OR socially desirable enough that women are willing to have sex (the most intimate act humans can generally perform) with me."
And like any other achievement/accomplishment, the situation in which it occurs matters a lot. Attractive woman? Rates better. Woman who is generally considered hard to have sex with? Rates higher. Less attractive/promiscuous women? Rates lower. Paying for it - rates even lower. Something like rape? Instant failure and permanent condemnation.
I think, to many men if not most, it only seems natural the way it's viewed because it's the only logical outcome; viewing and treating it any other way leads to less effective outcomes and diminished social status, especially in the early stages of life.
I've never felt the "women as objects" thing was ever weird - it felt like just a normal extension of the male tendency to treat everything like an object measuring it's value on what it can bring him and how far it can advance him.
(This is not to say that women aren't competing and don't view things in a similar way, but the rules of their competition aren't the same as men and the values and methods by which things are evaluated are vastly different.)
And the response led me again to ask something I feel isn't ask enough; why are men blamed consistently for something that is a logical outcome of their lives?
Most cultural anthropologists/sociologists and psychologists would agree that the male's life in basically all cultures (modern and ancient) is defined by competition and success/failure. Men, in nearly all cases, are constantly, willingly or not, in a state of competition against their immediate peers and in a less direct way all men in their society. They're defined (or broken) by what they can achieve/can do, and having sex is one of those milestones/achievements.
It's essentially a statement that says "I am either socially capable AND/OR socially desirable enough that women are willing to have sex (the most intimate act humans can generally perform) with me."
And like any other achievement/accomplishment, the situation in which it occurs matters a lot. Attractive woman? Rates better. Woman who is generally considered hard to have sex with? Rates higher. Less attractive/promiscuous women? Rates lower. Paying for it - rates even lower. Something like rape? Instant failure and permanent condemnation.
I think, to many men if not most, it only seems natural the way it's viewed because it's the only logical outcome; viewing and treating it any other way leads to less effective outcomes and diminished social status, especially in the early stages of life.
I've never felt the "women as objects" thing was ever weird - it felt like just a normal extension of the male tendency to treat everything like an object measuring it's value on what it can bring him and how far it can advance him.
(This is not to say that women aren't competing and don't view things in a similar way, but the rules of their competition aren't the same as men and the values and methods by which things are evaluated are vastly different.)
