Metroid Film...by Uwe Boll starring... Jessica simpson

[rekabdarb]

http://thefilmstage.com/2010/06/08/uwe-boll-jessica-simpson-and-metroid-a-recipe-for-disaster/

oh it hurts so bad below is the copy and paste of the article

"What do you get when you mix Jessica Simpson with Uwe Boll and the Metroid video game series? It sure sounds like a disaster to me. JoBlo is reporting that Uwe Boll is going to direct a film based on the Metroid video game series. Yea, I know what you?re thinking, it gets worse though. Set to star as our heroine Samus is none other than Jessica Simpson.

This is worse than the Kim Kardashian as Tomb Raider story we reported earlier. Seriously, what is wrong with Hollywood? Not only have they run completely dry of original ideas, that?s a whole different story, but if this is true?.honestly what is there to say?

Video game to film adaptions usually turn out bad even when they have a good cast and director. Imagine a video game to film adaption with Uwe Boll and Jessica Simpson *shudders*. I hope this is not true. I?d hate to see them ruin a great franchise like Metroid with this film.

Is there any good to come from a project like this?"

i would like to add this from someone who linked it down below

http://movies.ign.com/articles/109/1095682p1.html

because people apparently said the first link seemed to be a joke

 

[Marter]

They need to stop trying to get movies out of video games. Leave them alone.

 

[Omikron009]

That can't be true. It's like if you asked somebody to make the worst movie you could possibly make out of a great game. It can't be true.

 

[DefunctTheory]

Metroid has been attempted as a movie half a dozen times, and Nintendo has sworn they will make no more movies.

You've been punk'd, sir.

 

[vivadelkitty]

Oh, gods no. Keanu Reeves in Cowboy Bebop I will tolerate, but this, this is...SPARTA madness.

 

[Yassen]

Looks like someone said "Hey! Let's take all the worst ideas in the world and mix them into a blender, set it to 'pasterise' and then serve it on a radioactive plate with a side order of turd. That'll sell tickets right?"

Edit: Hmmm I followed the link and I'm starting to think this is just a joke. Read this.

"Actress Jessica Simpson is rumored to have secured the role of Space Bounty Hunter Samus Aran in a Hollywood version of a Nintendo game. In the game, Metroid, the hero controls Samus on her goal to rid the world of energy sucking beasts called Metroids. Think of it as a cross between Aliens and Dracula."

"Simpson is excited to restart her movie career and is reportedly taking part in the selection of Samus' love interest. Simpson's publicists has also confirmed that she will be contributing to the plot. "Ms Simpson feels the plot is too complex and would like to move the plot closer to it's core story of love and adventure."

The movie, rumored to be directed by famed director Uwe Boll will feature a wise cracking ethnic METROID played by the fat kid from GOOD BURGER."

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

OH NO! THIS COULD RUIN METROID'S AMAZINGLY COMPELLING STORYLINE, CONTINUITY, AND CHARACTERS! Oh... wait.

 

[Cabisco]

They need to stop trying to get movies out of video games. Leave them alone.

They just don't work do they.

What I also don't get is don't companies know that Uwe Ball movies tend not to have a good turnover, or good reviews. Surely wait until someone with more of a chance to gain a large profit comes along.

Still, after I saw POP i've came to the conclusion games just don't translate well, whether you throw money at the project or not.

 

[Swarley]

If this movie is ever made I will build a Dalek war suit and end the world with it.

 

[Tharwen]

Oh, gods no. Keanu Reeves in Cowboy Bebop I will tolerate, but this, this is...SPARTA madness.

Madness? This... Is... Going to be a really bad film!

 

[ShockValue]

Haha, that just sounds horrible.

 

[Virgilthepagan]

I didn't think I could be stunned by anything Boll related...I thought I'd heard it all...but this tops everything...

 

[Tehlanna TPX]

Ugh. Good god, it's like someone vomited in my cereal and called it ketchup. Jesus christ, thats a direct to video if there ever was on. It's not even good enough for dvd. UGH.

 

[wkrepelin]

Oh . . . God . . . No . . .

 

[rekabdarb]

Metroid has been attempted as a movie half a dozen times, and Nintendo has sworn they will make no more movies.

You've been punk'd, sir.

yeah, but ninento likes the amount of FABULOUS MONEY they get from the people who buy the same thing 3 times.

edit: so the chances of it being real are the same to fake in my opinion

 

[vivadelkitty]

Oh, gods no. Keanu Reeves in Cowboy Bebop I will tolerate, but this, this is...SPARTA madness.

Madness? This... Is... Going to be a really bad film!

Let's pray the gods are good and send a tornado through the set, carrying off Boll and leaving everyone else intact, thereby restoring their sanity and allowing them to realize the mess they've created.

 

[Nalgas D. Lemur]

Hmmm I followed the link and I'm starting to think this is just a joke.

Yeah, I was about to ask if anyone bothered clicking through to the original article. It's...not very serious.

The movie, rumored to be directed by famed director Uwe Boll will feature a wise cracking ethnic METROID played by the fat kid from GOOD BURGER.

That would actually be hilariously bad, to the point that I might watch it.