Most intellectually insulting movies you can think of

[bartholen_v1legacy]

Yeah, most bad movies are intellectually insulting in one way or another, but what I'm talking about are the ones that made you specifically go "This movie treats me like I'm an idiot or 5 years old". The inspiration for this movie came from our good friends CinemaSins with their most recent video, X-Men Origins: Wolverine.


Now, I think we all agree that this movie is absolute shit. And if you don't, you really, really, REALLY need to watch better movies. When I'd seen it (more out of morbid curiosity than actual interest), I just went "Nah, it was bad, just a waste of time". It wasn't the screaming awfulness something like Spider-Man 3 or Transformers 2 are often made out to be.

At least until I saw the video. Seeing all those clips again opened my eyes, and I realized it is truly one of the most insultingly written pieces of garbage I've ever seen. It felt like it was written by a 10-year old who came up with lines he thought sounded cool ("We're gonna make you indestructible. But first we'll have to destroy you") but had no idea what he was doing. For the record, the same guy went on to write A Good Day to Die Hard. Not helping is the fact that the mere thought of Will.i.am, one of the dullest, most talentless, hackneyed excuses of a musician to ever defile this earth being in a movie sets my brain cells on fire. I'm not going to rant about it because that's already been done.

What are your examples of this? When did a movie specifically make you think "Does this movie really think I'm this stupid?"

 

[NihilSinLulz]

Crash.

Its central message was "racism is bad. don't be a racist bro!". Then went about its message without once referring to historical racism, institutional racism, ideology, and had one of the characters be a radical homicidal Muslim immigrant.

Fuck that movie.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Prometheus. Prometheus was just the stupidest thing...I feel like Prometheus was made in Invader Zim's universe and somehow tumbled into our reality...First off, why would Weyland make this mission a secret mission? Sending people to the first Earth-Like planet in human history would be HUGE freaking news and ya know what, Weyland is a HUGE corporation. It would be like Microsoft or Apple making a true AI and NOT shouting about it from the rooftops within the first week.

Next you have the whole exploration process...The planet may be Earth-like but you still don't know anything about the planet or its composition. There were geologists on-board the vessel who would have INSISTED that nobody go outside of an X-Meter radius of the ship until soil samples have been taken and tested. Take Luna for example: You wouldn't know it by looking but the dust/dirt/etc on the surface is similar to broken glass and capable of ripping through thin fabrics. If that were to happen on an alien world, you would be absolutely fucked. Biologists would have also wanted to take soil samples because since LV-223 is Earthlike there's a good chance of finding microbial life...which could ALSO royally fuck up an unprotected human. What's more, everyone knew that a storm was coming. You do not go out and explore an alien world (or moon) when you know a storm is coming. You can leave the ship and dig up some dirt but you do not get in a Mako and drive around when you know next to nothing about this planet's weather patterns.

Speaking of an alien atmosphere:

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!? The air could be potentially breathable yes, but you don't know what kind of microbes are IN the air! And you all took off your helmets after someone else did...why not keep an eye on that person, test that person once you get back to the ship etc...let his dumb ass be the lab rat but don't follow his example...speaking of utter stupidity:

It looks like a penis, a vagina, a snake...and it's aggressively hissing at you. It's made itself look larger, which is another clear sign that it wants you to back the fuck off...so of course that's your cue to poke it in the face like a jack ass. A Biologist should know what an animal looks and, acts like when it wants you to leave it the fuck alone. I realize it is the first alien we've encountered at this point and that's exciting but you do NOT poke it in the face you fucking idiot!

...

One last thing about Prometheus and that's the sex scene. It was unnecessary and pointless. It just gave two characters who stayed on the ship an excuse to not hear a call for help. Stupid sex scene...there's a lot more wrong with that movie too which makes it great to watch if you're into riffing on bad movies.

 

[Silvanus]

The Doom movie offends me, being the worst example of source material mistreatment that I can think of.

 

[Darth Rosenberg]

The entire nu-trilogy for Star Wars could probably count. The Phantom Menace is physically, emotionally, and existentially disturbing to watch... Everything about it seems to have contempt for the slightest inkling of human intelligence.

And it's not a film, but a scene: during the finale of Batman Begins - that whole water pressure scene. It might be the most patronising, unnecessary, and downright stupid 'let's make sure the audience knows what's going on!' [repeated] cut-away I've ever seen. It damages the already dicey pacing of the third act, and stands in complete contrast to the film's otherwise very intelligent script.

 

[Total LOLige]

I liked X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I liked the game too.

Honestly, I've never found a film to be intellectually insulting. Maybe it's because I'm thick as shit.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Branded.

It's a movie SO far it's own ass, it thinks it's so genius, that it is the next inception. It is not, oh cow god it is not. Not only is it really, REALLY stupid, but mean spirited to people with obesity.

If you never watched it/willed your self to forget it, it is about a Russian man who got super marketting powers from lightning (yes, really), who proclaims marketing was invented by Lenin to destroy freedom or... something like that. Anyway, he finds out that marketing companies manufactured a "fat is beautiful" craze, and it is up to our hero to prevent fat from being seen as beautiful.

Oh, did I mention the part where he is told in a dream to kill a cow and see badly animated CGI marketing things while he tries to get all the large companies to turn on each other and beat them with his super marketing powers? I WISH I could get high enough to make that shit up.

 

[Rylot]

Crash.

Its central message was "racism is bad. don't be a racist bro!". Then went about its message without once referring to historical racism, institutional racism, ideology, and had one of the characters be a radical homicidal Muslim immigrant.

Fuck that movie.

I couldn't agree more. Had to watch it for a class in college (sociology or some such thing). Christ was that painful: Here's a bunch of racist people; now here's the same people being not racist! Hooray! I had to have discussions in a major university I was paying tuition for about that piece of crap.

 

[Spider RedNight]

As a huge Silent Hill fan, I feel that the movies just tried... TOO hard to appeal to fans and non fans.

"Hey let's have her get raped in the bathroom, why else would she be crying" "Hey let's burn her she must be a witch because she... has no dad?" "Here's an idea, Claudia can actually be the Mercenary!"

It just... it tries to cram ALL THIS STUFF into this movie and connect all the dots when they don't need to be shown connected. It panders to non fans by saying "heyyyy look at this, isn't it cool? We have an explanation for that, no need to do any pesky thinking on your own" and turns to the more hardcore fans by saying "Well... I had to make sense of it SOMEHOW. I mean... would YOU keep the protagonist a male? That don't make sense", etc.

It just boils my blood to see my favourite game series of all time just slathered up on a screen for money, using stupid explanations to try to get the audience to understand

 

[PunkRex]

I find a few movies intellectually insulting but none of these piss me off personally, maybe because they weren't anything I cared to much about to begin with... hhhrrrmmm... I find plenty of films lazy or boring but those don't really count...

OH SHIT, I KNOW, the new Clash of the Titans film! I despised that bloody mess!!!

The main characters cliche 'i'll do this as a human' attitude was fucking horrible as all his allies died around him, Io was the most generic and stupid character i've ever seen forced into a sausage fest, they destroyed Medusa and her scene and the djinn, Calibos and Hades were all completely pointless. I understand i'm jaded as I grew up loving the original (along with all Harryhausens stuff) but the cast was a good bunch of actors and the 3 witches scene was actually threatening in the newer film... it's just the way they took something I loved so much and made it the most generic, stupid type of remake that adds so little and rips out so much...

Now i'm sad...

 

[Michael Law]

Prometheus. Prometheus was just the stupidest thing...I feel like Prometheus was made in Invader Zim's universe and somehow tumbled into our reality...First off, why would Weyland make this mission a secret mission? Sending people to the first Earth-Like planet in human history would be HUGE freaking news and ya know what, Weyland is a HUGE corporation. It would be like Microsoft or Apple making a true AI and NOT shouting about it from the rooftops within the first week.

Next you have the whole exploration process...The planet may be Earth-like but you still don't know anything about the planet or its composition. There were geologists on-board the vessel who would have INSISTED that nobody go outside of an X-Meter radius of the ship until soil samples have been taken and tested. Take Luna for example: You wouldn't know it by looking but the dust/dirt/etc on the surface is similar to broken glass and capable of ripping through thin fabrics. If that were to happen on an alien world, you would be absolutely fucked. Biologists would have also wanted to take soil samples because since LV-223 is Earthlike there's a good chance of finding microbial life...which could ALSO royally fuck up an unprotected human. What's more, everyone knew that a storm was coming. You do not go out and explore an alien world (or moon) when you know a storm is coming. You can leave the ship and dig up some dirt but you do not get in a Mako and drive around when you know next to nothing about this planet's weather patterns.

Speaking of an alien atmosphere:

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!? The air could be potentially breathable yes, but you don't know what kind of microbes are IN the air! And you all took off your helmets after someone else did...why not keep an eye on that person, test that person once you get back to the ship etc...let his dumb ass be the lab rat but don't follow his example...speaking of utter stupidity:

It looks like a penis, a vagina, a snake...and it's aggressively hissing at you. It's made itself look larger, which is another clear sign that it wants you to back the fuck off...so of course that's your cue to poke it in the face like a jack ass. A Biologist should know what an animal looks and, acts like when it wants you to leave it the fuck alone. I realize it is the first alien we've encountered at this point and that's exciting but you do NOT poke it in the face you fucking idiot!

.

This. Except the sex scene, since that is how she become "pregnant" with the proto-facehugger. Kind of important.
Unless there was another scene I just don't remember....?

 

[Happiness Assassin]

And it's not a film, but a scene: during the finale of Batman Begins - that whole water pressure scene. It might be the most patronising, unnecessary, and downright stupid 'let's make sure the audience knows what's going on!' [repeated] cut-away I've ever seen. It damages the already dicey pacing of the third act, and stands in complete contrast to the film's otherwise very intelligent script.

That bugged me too. But my biggest problem with that whole thing is the fact that they activate the machine (which appears to target all water) on a boat, in the middle of the ocean. Wouldn't that immediately cause ship to sink, as all the water upon which it remains buoyant be vaporized as well?

 

[Shoggoth2588]

-snip-

This. Except the sex scene, since that is how she become "pregnant" with the proto-facehugger. Kind of important.
Unless there was another scene I just don't remember....?

The ship's captain and, the (Grand?)daughter of Weyland hooked up at one point while the storm was raging and the away-team was trapped in the alien ship (then thought to be a moist cave). There's no sex scene-sex scene but I recall them kissing then going into a different room, away from the communication...thing...

 

[Vault101]

would it be bad to say "the other woman?" even though I havent seen it?

or what about "the women"? I mean...yeah

or mabye Under the Tuscan sun...more for the whole "WHITE LADY PROBLEMS" thing...she has a lesbian friend (played by that cool asian actress from Greys anatomy), I wanna know whats going on in her life..I'm sure its waaaaaaay more interesting

ok real answer "Remember the Titans"

this kind of pandering Oscar Bait, "oh look you guys racism is baaaaaad" I'm not against showing racism..I'm all for it, but this film is so...simplistic and annoying...arrgghhh I can't stand it

or Patch Addams

I like Robin Williams but seriously....no "patch" you shouldn't be anywhere near patients...I TRUST THE WARDEN FROM SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION MORE THAN YOU!

 

[Michael Law]

-snip-

This. Except the sex scene, since that is how she become "pregnant" with the proto-facehugger. Kind of important.
Unless there was another scene I just don't remember....?

The ship's captain and, the (Grand?)daughter of Weyland hooked up at one point while the storm was raging and the away-team was trapped in the alien ship (then thought to be a moist cave). There's no sex scene-sex scene but I recall them kissing then going into a different room, away from the communication...thing...

Ohhh yeah. I had completely forgotten that part. In that case just your post exactly then haha

 

[YuberNeclord]

snip

I saw the same movie sins episode and the first thing that struck me was that he actually missed what I would consider the two biggest sins of that film, one of which I consider the most insulting thing I've ever seen as an audience member.

The first thing movie sins missed(and the thing that is the most insulting) was the scene towards the end of the film where Stryker gets the gun with the adamantium bullets. he has a conversation with someone where he explains about the gun and bullets, what he is planning to do with them, how it's going to affect Wolverine, etc.

The first problem with this scene is that it tells me how the movie is going to end, so any kind of tension that the script might have had is immediately removed.

The second problem with this scene is that the only reason it exists is because the writer/film makers assume the audience is too stupid to figure all of this out without it being explained to them. It's a poorly written scene littered with exposition and is a classic example of a writer not understanding the medium of film. If I had of been the director the first thing I would have been asking for was for that scene to be rewritten.

The second thing movie sins missed was the scene where Agent Zero shoots the cigar out of Wolverines mouth. If you go back and watch that scene you'll notice that Wolverine is facing with his eye line right to left in the MCU shot where he says "still shooting first and asking questions later?" but when it cuts to the closeup of Wolverine he is now facing with his eye line left to right(it happens again two shots later when Wolverine spits out the cigar).

Now at first I thought this was a 180 degree rule break due to shitty camera placement, but I was showing the scene to a friend and he pointed out that Hugh Jackman has the axe slung over the wrong shoulder in the CU shots. So those shots were horizontally flipped in post in order to keep continuity of the axe within the sequence of shots.

This is really interesting. Because if you've ever worked with actors before you know that they are extremely good at repeating the exact same physically actions during takes. It's something you usually don't even need to give them direction with. If they are in the moment, they just do it instinctively.

The fact that Hugh Jackman, a very experienced actor, made such a huge mistake as putting an axe over the wrong shoulder tells me a lot. It tells me that Hugh Jackman didn't want to be on that set. Either he knew the movie was going to suck and he didn't care to put in 100%, or he had communication issues with the Director or someone else in the crew. An actor who's committed would have never made a mistake like that, and a Director at his best would have damn well spotted it.


Now another quick scene from a film that I found insulting is in Dario Argento's 'Inferno'.
I only saw this movie once a few years ago but I think what happened was something like this:

A man is calling someone on a phone. There is text that says "Rome". In the next shot someone else is answering a phone. There is text that says "New York". There is also text underneath that which says "At the same time".

I remember first laughing my arse off when I saw that, then I felt pretty insulted. I mean seriously, did they think I was so fucking stupid that I could not make the connection that what I was watching;

A) was taking place at the same time?
B) they are talking to each other?

I'm pretty sure that if you show people a shot of a person dialing on a phone then cut to a shot of another person answering a phone, most people will know that they are watching a phone conversation happening in real time. They will not think that they are watching two halves of two different phone conversations happening at two different times.

 

[RedDeadFred]

MEGA SNIP!!!

Pretty much agree with everything here. I haven't had a movie piss me off as much as that one in quite some time. It was especially disappointing because I feel like underneath all the bullshit, there was a good movie.

 

[Sir Thomas Sean Connery]

snip

snip

Those are both great movies and you should feel silly.

OT:
It's cliche to say it, but the only movie I can really think of that's like that is Transformers 2. The level of humor really did make me feel like I was getting dumber just watching it. It didn't help that everything else was crap as well.