my dad has liver cancer

[TheDoctor455]

A few months ago, my dad was diagnosed with liver cancer, and I've tried to remain uncharacteristically optimistic about his situation, but it's hard, you know?And even though my dad has none of the usual contributing factors of cancer (he's not an alcoholic, he doesn't smoke, and so on), it just seems odd that this could've hit him so suddenly. Which could indicate that this is genetic... No... I don't want to think about that right now...


...
Anyway, I... hope has never been my strong point, because through my life, I have learned that hope is nothing more than an illusion that serves only to blind you and remove any hope of rational thought... But... when i found out about my dad's cancer... It's just so hard to keep up what little hope I have left in me to give... And on more than one occasion, I've had to feign hopefulness, to make sure he doesn't lose hope. Because at this point, that's about all he has aside from me, mom, and my little sister.

I'm sorry if I've been dithering on about this for too long...
But I just don't know what to do...
Or if there is really anything I can do.

 

[Fightgarr]

My dad had bladder cancer this past year. We have no idea what caused it. He made a full recovery. I hope that helps a bit. I know the liver is more serious than the bladder, but people pull through cancer. Just be supportive to your dad, he'll need some help once treatment starts.
I wish you all the best.

 

[[Gavo]]

I'm truly sorry to hear this. Believe me, I know what you're going through right now, I've had a similar situation.

What you can do: be with him as long as it is comforatable for the both of you, if he isn't bedridden go out and do things with him, and if he is, spend time at the bedside with him. I don't know how far along it is, but try to spend time with him every day. You have the luck to live with him (assuming your parents are not divorced) and you can go see him constantly. Tell me if there's any more advice you need. (Also, if you don't mind, the details of it, how far along it is, if it's malignant or not, etc. If you're not comfortable, I fully understand).

Try to find a reason to keep upbeat. I found a reason to keep on moving, I'm applying for an internship at a small, private cancer research facility that focuses on the cancers that do not currently have good treatments. Finding that helped me get out of my slump, just a little bit.

 

[TheDoctor455]

Thanks. I just needed someone to talk to about it.
To answer your questions...
From all counts, liver cancer is usually a very serious type of cancer. The doctors have said that my dad's case was "aggressive but treatable". And my dad is already at an "advanced stage" of the disease. So really, I don't know what to think about it....

And my dad started chemo a few weeks ago... it hasn't started draining him yet, but the immediate side effects of his medication aren't very encouraging.

Oh, and while my parents aren't divorced, and live together... I don't really get to see them that much because I currently live in a dorm. I'm a UCR student.

 

[Motiv_]

You have my sympathy, for I have lung cancer. Amazingly, I never smoked a day in my life. It really sucks. You have my blessing

 

[[Gavo]]

Thanks. I just needed someone to talk to about it.
To answer your questions...
From all counts, liver cancer is usually a very serious type of cancer. The doctors have said that my dad's case was "aggressive but treatable". And my dad is already at an "advanced stage" of the disease. So really, I don't know what to think about it....

And my dad started chemo a few weeks ago... it hasn't started draining him yet, but the immediate side effects of his medication aren't very encouraging.

So malignant, then? Can he still function overall? These will be the last questions I'll probably ask, this is getting personal and probably hurting you. I'll just give advice from now on, as I learn more. I pray that your dad recovers.

 

[Neonbob]

Damn, I'm sorry to hear that, Doc. And as long as you keep giving your dad some kind of hope, you're doing him a great favor by providing a glimmer of something to hang on to.
Yeah, I'm not going to have the same amount of help as others...anyway.
Best of luck staying positive.

 

[TheDoctor455]

For now, he can still move around a bit, and watch himself... mostly. But the doctors won't let him drive anymore and he's been put on a work order... So... thanks...

 

[Altorin]

the liver is one of the most regenerative organs in the body.. so.. there's that.

 

[Ninonybox_v1legacy]

you have my blessings

 

[Ashbax]

I hope he gets better, and I know this can be an ordeal - My best friend, Oscar murphy, came down with an almost unique and extremeley rare case of Bone marrow cancer. He didnt recover and died five years ago, However - my grandfather got cancer, but aye, he was a right tough guy, a farmer back when he was younger and still very fit. He pulled through fine.

 

[black lincon]

My uncle died of prostate cancer a few years back, I know it's hard and you have my simpaties.

However I hate to ask, How bad is it? My mom works for the American Cancer Society so I occasionally get cancer facts shoehorned down my throat, and I know that liver cancer isn't the worst kind you can have, unless of course he found it late and it's already metastasized.

 

[TheDoctor455]

the liver is one of the most regenerative organs in the body.. so.. there's that.

Yeah, normally that would be encouraging... But in an ironic sort of way, the regenerative bit may have actually helped the cancer. As the doctors and then my mother explained, each time the cancer would kill/corrupt/poison cells, my dad's liver would grow new cells to replace them, but this meant that the cancer simply had more cells to kill... So I don't know... maybe this means that the cancer simply has more ammo or maybe it means that the liver's regenerative property is containing the cancer, if only for now... I just don't know...

But thanks, I need every ounce of optimism I can get if I'm to be able to keep my dad's spirits up. So far though... he's been handling it a lot better than I would. If I had been diagnosed with this, I wouldn't have even bothered trying to keep my hopes up. And I wouldn't have allowed anyone to get my hopes up either. I would've just focused on two things: school and finish writing my novel (yeah, I'm writing one, but I'm not going to show it to my dad anytime soon, because I doubt it would give him much hope even though it has absolutely nothing to do with cancer).

So... I just don't know...

Thanks for trying though. Really. Thank you.
...
...
I'm going to go play tetris for a bit, to try and keep my mind off of this for a little while.

 

[Fightgarr]

When my dad was diagnosed with cancer I was also away. I was at residence for university, in another city, a 5 hour train ride away. Focusing on school and writing is good for you. Its the right way to approach the situation, after that you can only spend as much time with dad as you can afford to and hope that condition improves.

Know that I'm pretty sure the entire Escapist community is behind you here.
Man... cancer sucks...

 

[BoneCrusherBOB]

My grandfather lived with cancer for 20 years after he was diagnosed. He is and always will be my role model fighting all the way to the end. When first told he had it he was given 2 months and with no treatment he lived for twenty years he was never even supposed to meet me.

 

[antipunt]

gl TC
=]

 

[TheDoctor455]

My grandfather lived with cancer for 20 years after he was diagnosed. He is and always will be my role model fighting all the way to the end. When first told he had it he was given 2 months and with no treatment he lived for twenty years he was never even supposed to meet me.

Thanks. If anything is to give me hope, its that. Thank you for sharing that with me.
I really appreciate it.

gl TC
=]

Ummm... I don't understand "texting", could you please translate that into standard english?

 

[BoneCrusherBOB]

My grandfather lived with cancer for 20 years after he was diagnosed. He is and always will be my role model fighting all the way to the end. When first told he had it he was given 2 months and with no treatment he lived for twenty years he was never even supposed to meet me.

Thanks. If anything is to give me hope, its that. Thank you for sharing that with me.
I really appreciate it.

No prob just never give up hope.