Need help with guilt

[The SettingSun]

You may remember me from another thread about a girl who i had become a little bit obsessed with. Its not really infatuation as right now i'm struggling with feelings of homosexuality and gender dysphoria. However that isnt my main problem right now.

Im friends with this girl and i even asked her out and got turned down. However, we've still become stronger friends. Today I was clicking about my college website and realised i could probably guess her password. I was right and i quickly scanned through her emails. I stopped myself halfway through out of horror and immediately felt guilty and felt like a creep. I texted my friend cos i needed to tell someone. When he asked what was up I told him i hacked into this girls account. By accident i sent that text to the girl...

After a good coverup story in which my friend took the blame she truly believes that i havent hacked into her account. I feel really guilty about lying to her. Its making me feel so bad.

I also feel like a stalker and a complete weirdo. Once again, I really don't like myself. And now I feel really guilty about lying. I just needed to vent my thoughts, i doubt theres much people can say to help.

 

[Galletea]

It's all fine. You knew it was wrong at the time, and now you feel bad about it. That is how it is mean to be. After a while you will forget all about it, and it will never come up again.
You're only really worried about being caught out, and it looks like you're in the clear, so chillax.

 

[Rawne1980]

You should feel guilty.

You should feel terrible.

How dare you read through her e-mails ..... and not share the contents with us.

 

[Jedoro]

People still talk to each other in emails?

OT: Pain shared is pain divided. Unless you want to tell the girl or more friends that you read her emails, you've done about all you can to alleviate the guilt.

 

[Reginald]

Really, curiosity is a perfectly natural human trait. It's no more abhorrent than the desire to be happy. And besides, you only gave in to the temptation momentarily. The text message mix up? An honest mistake. Now, letting her know what you did would have made matters worse for everybody. Sometimes a lie is better than the truth, and this looks like one of those occasions.

 

[Lunatic High]

Guilt will pass with time and few stiff drinks. What you shouldn't have done is tell anyone ever, that will just make the guilt feel worse or so I'm told. Still it sounds like you're in the clear.

 

[manic_depressive13]

Was there even anything interesting in there? All I have in my inbox is spam mail from various things I subscribed to at some point. I don't think it's anything to feel guilty about. It's not as though you were trying to rob her or anything.

 

[weirdsoup]

You should tell her that you did it out of idle curiosity and that she should try harder with her password so that she's safer on the internet because although it this time it was a friend messing about that got into her private stuff, next time it could be some cockend who empties her bank account.

 

[JimB]

I really don't like myself.

Good. You shouldn't. Hacking someone's account is no better than reading her diary; she has thoughts and feelings she wants to keep private, and you stole some of them. Shame on you.

What you're feeling right now can be useful, though. Once you've burned yourself, you're less likely to screw around with fire again; and now that you're torn up over this, perhaps you'll let yourself learn a lesson from it.