No Right Answer: What Should Michael Bay do?

Recommended Videos

Firefilm

New member
May 27, 2011
1,801
0
0
What Should Michael Bay do?

There doesn't have to be a formal debate for there to be no right answer. This week Chris and Kyle try to decide how Michael Bay could make a decent TMNT film.

Watch Video
 

Riobux

New member
Apr 15, 2009
1,955
0
0
I was hoping for an episode where you discuss "What Should Michael Bay Do With His Life?". Quit vs take up a drug habit.
 

Mikeyfell

Elite Member
Aug 24, 2010
2,784
0
41
Michael Bay should make the Mass Effect 3 movie. (Not the first two, just 3)

It's right up his alley.
There's no deep substance, it's all explosions and shitty romance. He can go nuts with the special effects, and he can ignore all the shitty stuff that happened in the game and spend all his time on Earth jerking off his human military fetish.

It might actually turn out better then what Bioware gave us.

That's what he should work on after he finishes TMNT
 

ZZoMBiE13

Ate My Neighbors
Oct 10, 2007
1,908
0
0
TMNT came out when I was in high school. Since I was "too old"* for it, I never really built up much affection for the series. I played the NES game and the arcade game and didn't dislike the series, I just don't hold it in as high regard as people who are a few years younger than I was when they came out.

*"Too old" in the way all high school teenaged boys become "too old" for "kid stuff" because they don't want their friends to think they're weird. ;)
 

Caffeine_Bombed

New member
Feb 13, 2012
209
0
0
Ok, they can't be extra-terrestrial but let's make one of the four famous brothers female? That would totally sit well with the internet...

I'm glad Kyle said it though: people really need to stop banging on about Michael Bay raping their childhood.

Having said that, I did sigh with discontent when I read Megan Fox was to be cast as April. She's just eye-candy to drag in the " 'Ere I'd well shag 'er" audience.
 

Random Argument Man

New member
May 21, 2008
6,011
0
0
I'm willing to bet 5$ that April O'Neil will have a romance with Casey Jones and it will be the focus of the story while the Ninja turtle and Shredder are in the background.


Also...

Mikeyfell said:
Michael Bay should make the Mass Effect 3 movie. (Not the first two, just 3)

It's right up his alley.
There's no deep substance, it's all explosions and shitty romance. He can go nuts with the special effects, and he can ignore all the shitty stuff that happened in the game and spend all his time on Earth jerking off his human military fetish.

It might actually turn out better then what Bioware gave us.

That's what he should work on after he finishes TMNT
I'm sorry if the next image will be offensive, but...



Ok Ok, I realize it's kind of a "douchey" response. However, no deep substance? Did Thane and Mordin died during your suicide mission in Mass effect 2? Did your little brother played the entire Krogan/Geth/Quarian section of the game? Did you missed the entire exposition about earth getting its ass kicked?

Again, I'm sorry if the gif may be offensive, but it was needed.
 

Gizmo1990

Insert funny title here
Oct 19, 2010
1,900
0
0
When I saw the title of this only one answer came to mind.

Fuck right off.

Thats what he should do. At least when doing movies based on stuff. I have been known to enjoy one or two of his movies but the guy cannot do anything without getting on his knees so he can better suck off the US armed forces and when making a movies about alien robots that is not a good thing. So I have to wonder if the TMNT will end up teaming up with a team of US special forces who end up doing all the work.

Plus he really pissed me off with that one line in pearl harbor. 'I think World war 2 just started' He can definitely fuck off for that one.
 

Jacked Assassin

Nothing On TV
Jun 4, 2010
732
0
0
After somehow Michael Bay watches this he then decides to give fans what they really want.... Teenage Mutant Ninja Ponies.... They all end up being female.... And the furry community collapses in onto itself as it becomes all about TMNT Fans versus Bronies.... By the time it is actually in theaters a chunk of the people that might have paid for this is already deceased....

As for Michael Bay he then has to figure out whether to actually listen to fans or roll around in piles of cash.... As in which case its going to be that latter....

The only positive thing I can think of typing is at least JJ Abrams isn't there.
 

The Great JT

New member
Oct 6, 2008
3,721
0
0
And now I'm imagining Thane with a Casey Jones mask whispering "goongala" after he headshots some fool. Kind of awesome, kind of silly.

I would love to see Bebop and Rocksteady roll back in as a third faction of mutants, there's your out for bringing Tokka and Razzor back in. Also, '03 Baxter Stockman, he was the best villain in the series.
 

Ace Morologist

New member
Apr 25, 2013
160
0
0
Spitballin' :

* Splinter doesn't have to be a rat-man. He could be a human who trains his weird mutant adopted kappa sons.

* Shredder could be a woman. Perhaps the daughter or wife of the original... Oroku Saki? (Was that the Shredder's real name?) After her Yakuza husband's or Yakuza father's death at the hands of ... erm... Splinter, she tracks him to America with a core of Foot ninja and spends years building up an army of local ninja to A.) expand her criminal undertaking and B.) get revenge on Splinter.

* Michaelangelo could use primarily a weighted chain and shuriken rather than nunchaku. Donatello could use a naginata instead of just a staff.

--Morology!
 

Ferisar

New member
Oct 2, 2010
814
0
0
As long as we're on the subject of girlturtles, Raphael would be neat.

'cause he mad all da time.

I was kind of confused by this episode because I expected you two to still take two different stances on the matter, but it wasn't so bad in reality.

Also Shredder should be an alien robot who integrated with Oroku Saki DNA. Yeah? That's what I got out of that :p

I think you also forgot the all important eighth member of who has to be there in terms of characters

The Pizza.
 

GamemasterAnthony

New member
Dec 5, 2010
1,009
0
0
Definitely seconding the kibosh on the "YOU'RE RAPING MY CHILDHOOD" outcries. It's getting annoying and it kind of the same mentality that makes the Genwunners annoying.

I have to disagree with the potential Battletoads crossover. That...no. That might be taking it too far. I mean...we can have the Starfox peeps in the same universe as Sonic and company, but there's no real connection between the mutated turtles and the humans turned into frogs via video game malarky.

CAPTCHA: bunny rabbit

Hmmm...that's interesting. How would Usagi Yojimbo fit into the TMNT Bay-verse?
 

Count_A'ight

New member
Dec 29, 2010
49
0
0
What should Michael Bay do with TMNT? Nothing. Seriously why do people have a problem with this movie? It will probably bomb. Why would a kid want to see this movie when he or she can watch the pretty good Nick version at home everyday? Makes no sense to me as to why the studio would even green light this movie. The Nick version has a new season that will probably be still showing new episodes when the movie comes out.
 

Nubrain

New member
Sep 17, 2010
83
0
0
As a child of the 80s who grew up watching TMNT I agreed with a lot of what you had said it would even be interesting if one of the turtles was a female as long as the gender swap isn't made the defining trait of the character and there are two things about real turtles biology that they could use. First the gender of a turtle is not determined by genetics like it is for a human but by the temperature when the egg hatches. Second for most turtle species the female is larger and stronger than the male. during mating the female will swim around caring the male on her back and needs to keep them both from drowning and it's the female that has to go inland well past the tide line to dig nests and lay the eggs.

In the right hands the two above facts could be used to to tell an interesting story conflicting the gender norms for tow different species....oh wait Bay is doing this and character exploration doesn't explode well.
 

Mr. Q

New member
Apr 30, 2013
767
0
0
When I saw the title What Should Michael Bay Do?, my first thought was immediate...

Commit seppuku!

Yup, slit your belly to cleanse Hollywood of the dishonor you have brought upon cinema.

Bay is a hack, imo, who is only good at making trash and NOT HANDLING POPULAR FRANCHISES BELOVED BY FANS YOUNG AND OLD! He's Roger Corman but with less talent and a bigger budget. The only reason he got the job for Transformers and producing TMNT is because Paramount didn't want to lose a cash cow but were too fucking retarded to notice that he doesn't care about these properties at all. He's basically a pricy disinterested whore. He'll do the job but won't put too much of an effort so long as no one notices.

As for the idea of giving Bay anymore properties to butcher... or any work ever again for that matter, here is my short reply to that...

 

Grabehn

New member
Sep 22, 2012
630
0
0
It's funny how they put a picture of April O'neil with a costume because I'd much rather watch the porn spoof of TMNT than whatever alien ninjas Bay comes up with.