NPC appreciation thread

[Barbas]

[HEADING=1]NPCs are weird[/HEADING]​

There's always one. Somewhere out in the vast game world, there's at least one really wacko NPC. Whether they're into stacking furniture up to the ceiling, flogging charge cards or holding back an almost indecent passion for baking bread out of potatoes, they'll always be there to provide a little beam of sunshine in our lives, as well as presumably being a vital outlet for a developer to scream out desperately for help from the depths of their tortured soul.

To get this thread rolling, I humbly present the sad tale of...

[HEADING=2]Poobadoo[/HEADING] [https://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/Poobadoo]​

[http://ladindequichante.deviantart.com/art/Poobadoo-Daily-Sketch-376270265]​

Quaggans are curious creatures. Living mostly underwater, they're a peaceful amphibian race usually regarded as being tubby, non-threatening and almost excessively polite. They actively avoid conflict, as becoming provoked causes them to transform into scaly beings of murderous rage - a sore point in conversation.

Poobadoo wanders in a rough circle west of Kessex Hills and east of Meremoot Hill. This unlikely fellow is the cause of numerous harassment complaints from the nearby trading post. When confronted, he merely offers the line, 'Come closer. Quaggan wants to lick you'. I don't know about you, but I think that mad shit like this makes wandering around Guild Wars 2 a good deal more enjoyable. So, what are you never going to be able to hammer out of your memory?

 

[RJ 17]

I'd have to put some thought into it to come up with some good ones (currently at work waiting for something to load) so I'll probably be back later, but just off the top of my head...

I forget what his name is, but there's an event in Act 1 of Diablo 3 where you clear out a bunch of monsters from a seemingly abandoned farm. Upon clearing the monsters out, a guy runs out of the farm's cellar thanking you and saying that you must meet his wife. So you go into the cellar and find the man standing beside a skeleton in a rocking chair...soon after the skeleton's head falls off. At this point every time you talk to the guy he makes some pun about either his wife being dead or something regarding her head...which is now rolling on the floor.

Just a fun string of corniness. :3

On a related note: the salarian you can harass in ME3 by pushing buttons on the console he's working on.

 

[n0e]

There hasn't been an NPC worth mentioning since Captain Placeholder from WoW. There's even a fan-made song about him

 

[NPC009]

In Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn, there's an NPC simply know as the '3-13 Archer'. In this chapter, you're fighting a defensive battle and it's a rather tough one. Fortunately, you get some NPCs to aid you. Unfortunately, Fire Emblem NPCs are often dumb bricks and only good at getting themselves killed. Except for this one Sniper. He shoots, he dodges, he kills and he might even survive the whole battle. His exploits may be slightly exagerated, but many players remember him fondly.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

everytime I think of mass effect 2, this guy always comes to mind.

Gunnery chief's obsession with isaac newton is impressive.



(not so much weird, just always sticks out to me.)

 

[Fallow]

Noober and Neeber obviously.

No other NPCs have ever reached such levels of frustration.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

Scarecrow Birdy!

A constantly drunk, foulmouthed, angry and self aware Scarecrow. Who makes a noise, TING! Makes a TING noise! Goes TING!

*TING*

There ya go, TING.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

everytime I think of mass effect 2, this guy always comes to mind.

I'm Aegix, and this is suddenly my favourite NPC on the disc. XD

How did I miss this guy, or worse still, forget that he existed? This was awesome!

 

[sageoftruth]

The ninja otaku from Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory

 

[happyninja42]

everytime I think of mass effect 2, this guy always comes to mind.

Gunnery chief's obsession with isaac newton is impressive.



(not so much weird, just always sticks out to me.)

I wouldn't call it an obsession with newtonian physics, so much as dressing down that one private, who obviously decided to "eyeball" a shot with a ballistic mass driver, that is essentially a weapon of mass destruction. And reminding his dumb ass that the destructive force he unleashed, and apparently missed the target of, since it went flying off into space, was a terrifyingly huge amount of hurt that he released into the universe. Though I agree, the scene is awesome. xD

OT: Zeke Jedediah Dunbar from inFamous 1 & 2 (maybe from the later games, don't know, haven't played them yet). He went from the comic relief character of the first game, to an integral part of number 2. Plus, he's a tubby Elvis-esque looking guy with tattoos and a snarky attitude. What isn't there to love about a guy like that?

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

Gavlan. "Gavlan wheel? Gavlan...deal??"

Gavlan deal!!

 

[SmallHatLogan]

M'aiq the Liar from the Elder Scrolls games. Tells the player weird shit. Some of it makes sense in the context of Elder Scrolls, some of it doesn't. Some of it breaks the fourth wall. Definitely a memorable encounter the first time I ran into him in Morrowind.

Spoiler: Picture

 

[Barbas]

(Snip).

Ahhh, banana-hat M'aiq is my favourite. I've always loved that dopey-looking hat since a screaming wizard wearing one of them fell out of the sky in front of me. I also like the fact that the beast races have beasty-looking legs in those games.

And speaking of ridiculous-looking hats, check out this guy who wears a unique variant:

[HEADING=2]Uncle Sweetshare[/HEADING] [http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Bloodmoon:Uncle_Sweetshare]

Aside from that, he also sings a unique song and is just generally a unique, creepy bastard. I get the willies every time I have to deal with that perverse poison-peddler.

 

[DrownedAmmet]

Enchantment?

Spoiler

Enchantment!

I found Bodahn and Sandal to be kind of annoying in Dragon Age: Origins, but I was excited to see them in Dragon Age II. Guess it was just cool to see a familiar face. I fell in love with them when I got to see how they interacted in Dragon Age II

Spoiler: Some spoilers about them from Dragon Age II

It turns out that Bodahn isn't Sandal's biological father, he just found him wandering the Deep Roads one day and took him in. I found that rather touching because of the whole dwarven caste system, most dwarves probably would have left him there. It's cool to see how proud and loving Bodahn is, even though they aren't connected by blood

 

[008Zulu_v1legacy]

I always liked the Gree droids on Coruscant from ToR. I liked the way they spoke.

 

[Saltyk]

everytime I think of mass effect 2, this guy always comes to mind.

I'm Aegix, and this is suddenly my favourite NPC on the disc. XD

How did I miss this guy, or worse still, forget that he existed? This was awesome!

Seriously, how did you miss that guy? I found him on my first trip there. And I always stopped by to listen to him dress down those rookies on every play through that followed. Easily one of my favorite scene that you could overhear in any game ever.

Plus, it is just so spot on. Every missed shot will ruin someone's day. Maybe not for a billion years, but it will hit something somewhere. And that will be bad for whoever is in the way.

 

[flying_whimsy]

I tend to get attached to npcs in a lot of games, as they usually add a lot more flavor and texture to the experience. I tend to count them in with my overall attachment to the game, however, so they usually don't spring to for discussions like this.

I'm not sure if it counts since she's more support or whatever, but I'm a huge fan of Midna. For what would have otherwise been a long, lonely journey through countless dungeons and strange shadowy worlds, she added some personality and color that kept me entertained and my spirits high. I wish she had more dialogue.

Other than that, I was really fond of the blacksmiths in skyrim, and it always bums me out when I inevitably get a letter of inheritance for the ones in riverwood and whiterun: being near the edge of town always means they get the brunt of the dragons and vampires. And sooner or later the daughter of the one in riverwood would ask me to adopt her: never could bother to, though. Too much risk being the child of the dragonborn, especially when that dragonborn is a thane in every hold as well as leader of half the guilds in the land.

 

[The Wykydtron]

Practically every character in the background in Skullgirls is fuckin' weird and cool. I have something pretty to look at when i'm forced to take a half an hour break when I get touched once by a good Eliza. 'S fine, I didn't want to play today anyway. Ohhhh are those the guys from Two Best Friends in the background? Did they donate to this game then? Awesome.

Also BlazBlue Continuum Shift Extend has Platinum's stage and Platinum's stage has the best NPC in the background. Hype Dog barking in the background is fuckin' awesome.


ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF!

 

[Strazdas]

Niftu Cal, the self proclaimed "biotic god" got me genuinely laughing while playing that scene.

 

[Barbas]

"biotic god" . . .

'...And check out mah godly bod.'

They remind me of those slug-like NPCs in Startopia. You ever play that game? Great game, you run a space station. Anyway, these big tourist slugs squidge in off the elevator and slide around using your facilities. They have tiny moustaches. Cough. Thass raciss.

[http://startopia.wikia.com/wiki/Polvakian_Gem_Slug]​