Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say-no-more...

[LostTimeLady]

I once had a theory about people and their relationship with the entity we commonly called sex, and it's this:

those that talk about it most, get it least. (I'm not being antagonistic here I just looked at the facts in my possession at the time, and talking about it also included sexual inuendo goodness help me).

For the most part this has worked quite nicely as a theory as a lot of my friends who do talk about sex way more than I'm comfortable with I know for a fact are not sleeping with their partner or aren't in a relationship (and actually I get pretty uncomfortable at the merest mention of sex as a physical act).

But actually, I've noticed that these days people are just generally more open about talking about sex and not just the fact that they are or aren't getting any because if the the openness of the idividuals on this forum is anything to go buy the taboo about sex is slowly disapearing.

So, my questions for discussion is this, in your opinion:

Is sex becoming a more aceptable conversation topic?
Are people becoming generally more curious about the topic but have nowhere else to turn?
Or has the advent of the internet and anonimity provoked conversation more?

Or just generally voice an opinion about your ideas about socity and sex.

Discuss!

(Why yes this is a reactionary thread to all the 'sex' threads we've been having at the moment on the escapist, how did you guess?)

 

[Souplex]

I'm still not comfortable talking aboot it. Others might be.

 

[Jaded Scribe]

Yes, it is becoming more and more acceptable to discuss it, and it's definitely a step in the right direction. Acting like it's some dirty act that should only be whispered about is terribly repressive.

Acting like it's a natural act that's acceptable to discuss (depending on reasonable time and place) is definitely good.

Sexual repression leads to increased misinformation (look at the higher rates of teen pregnancies and STDs at schools without a comprehensive Sex Ed program).

 

[Floppertje]

1. yes, it is.
2. no, they're not getting more curious, they already were but they're talking about it more now. and what do you mean by 'they have nowhere else to turn'? they have so little sex that they just have to talk about it to get their kicks? I'm not sure. I do think that people who are sexually frustrated think about it more and therefore talk about it more...
3. maybe a bit, but the people who I hang out with are usually perfectly comfortable talking about it face to face...

I do think it's a bit sad that everyone here seems to be turning into a slut, but maybe that's because i'm more of a relationship kind of guy and maybe I should just shut my mouth on this because I invited my ex over to have some fun later tonight... +1 for hypocrisy!

 

[tigermilk]

Is sex becoming a more aceptable conversation topic?

Perhaps you are getting older and so is your peer group, this would be my guess as I presume you are talking about changes in how we talk about sex in the last few years not the last 60?

As for those who talk about sex a lot "its an empty kettle that rattles the loudest". Now if you will excuse me I am off for an orgy with chocolate flavoured playboy bunnies and assorted female pop stars etc, etc.

 

[Veloxe]

I find it's not so much about the less sex you get, the more you talk about it. I know people who don't get any and won't shut up about sex, but then I also know people who get a lot of it and won't shut up about sex. I find a much better indicator about amount of sex someone gets is their maturity towards the subject.

 

[Lawnmooer]

I notice that people talk about sex more openly the older they get... Due to maturity and whatnot...

After the age of about 16 people stop lying about how much they have sex and stop all the immature giggling over the mention of it and can openly discuss it amongst peers.

I've also noticed that people talk about it more openly on forums as time passes, probably due to the nature of how often sex is shown in the media (I've lost count of the amount of prime-time television programmes and films I have watched that included scenes of people having sex (No they were not porno's either)) and how much sex is taught at schools which I guess is due to the increase in teen pregnancies and STDs that are being spread.

I don't know about other people but during my school life I've had about 50 Sex Ed classes that were all mandatory and gave the same information starting from when I was 10 up until I left school at 15.

I guess it also helps that people who are shy about asking people in person about sex can go onto a internet forum and be annonymous while asking what ever questions they seek answers or understanding of.

 

[MagnetoHydroDynamics]

Imho, explicit details can stay in the bedroom. Otherwise? Not much of a problem for me.

 

[rokkolpo]

I'm all for:
''Stop talking, start doing.''

And that's all I'll say about it.

 

[FamoFunk]

I'm open about it with certain people, like the person I'm having sex with very openly.
But I'll talk about it to friends and even my parents if I needed to. why not? I'm doing it/done it a lot, there's no need to hide from that fact and it's completely normal.

I think it's becoming more accebtable to talk about, which has both pros and cons.
Pros being if you're ever in doubt or worried, you can openly and happily talk to someone about it.
But the con is it becomes more of a peer pressure thing or needing to have sex and feeling pressure into making a wrong decision.

I hope to god I stayed on topic.

 

[LostTimeLady]

I think it's more of a side-effect to the loss of overall privacy in people's lives. People tend to be more open about everything because privacy is slowly diminishing.

PS: Awesome Monty Python reference.

Why thank you! I'll be honest though, I spotted a quotation from the same sketch on a thread earlier so I can't take all the credit.

Interesting point though, about deminishing privacy, I think that's a part of things too. Not just people being more open but it's becoming harder to be privete.

 

[Soluncreed]

I have absolutely no difficulty or problems talking about sex if it's not something that's actually happening between me and another person. I think that because it is on a far more personal level, rather than only a physical one.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Is sex becoming a more aceptable conversation topic?
Are people becoming generally more curious about the topic but have nowhere else to turn?
Or has the advent of the internet and anonimity provoked conversation more?

Or just generally voice an opinion about your ideas about socity and sex.

Well, personally I think it's because people are finally getting over the idea that sex is dirty, shameful, and something to hide. Which is a good thing. Sexual repression leads to madness at worst and an exploitative sex industry at... well, I was gonna say "at best" but it occurred to me that the exploitative sex industry thing is pretty bad too.

Being open and factual about sex doesn't make it any less magical to actually do - in fact making knowledge about the act available helps make it better for both participants.

As for talking about it, well, the anonymity thing doesn't stand up for me because I talk about sex with people all the time IRL. I like talking about my sex life and marriage. I've sat around a table in a restaurant and discussed swinging over dinner with friends. One of my also married friends always laments that his wife isn't open to such things - I tease him about it in a playful way (cause I'd totally do him - he's very hot - and I wouldn't mind his wife either). My spouse also likes flirting with this friend of ours.

But even our friends who we aren't interested in, we still like to talk with. I have this one very sexually shy friend who I keep trying to get laid. She has no interest in girls (or I'd take care of it myself) so I've been keeping an eye out for a boyfriend for her. Another friend of mine and I like to tart her up when we go out dancing. The girl is hot, and she's a good dancer.

Part of it is that I just love sex, and I like talking about the things I love. I love to talk about video games, tabletop RPGs, and fantasy novels too. When my partner and I broke our bed (collapsed the box spring) during sex once, I had a ball telling everyone that I'd been f-ed so hard it broke the bed.

Maybe part of it is that I love flirting with people and making them blush.

 

[holy_secret]

I'm on my way to having a "perfect week", as Barney would put it. I don't talk about it, but I do answer my friends and my roomates when they as me where I've been all these days. So I guess I keep it to myself mostly...

I think that it's becoming more accepted to have sex. I mean...just look at the time Elvis was in the building. He was deemed a sexual monster because he moved his hips. Seriously

But seriously. Isn't flirting the most fun way to pass time with another person? I flirt with everyone I talk to, even friends. I think it's a nice way to address people and make them feel comfortable.
It's also a good indication for people who are boring and stuck up, since they'll usually react with a pretentious "ugh". Thank you for being so clear with your blandiness

 

[Lokithrsourcerer]

yeah people are more comfortable talking about it (at least in my experiences) it isn't the taboo it used to be.

I wouldn't say people who talk about it all the time aren't getting it its more the people who boast about it who aren't getting any or in some cases have just got some for the first time.

I think the age and situation are a factor too.

For example I often hear my younger brother(18) going on about how much sex he gets to his m8s but I know he's lying as we share a mutual wall and he usually sleeps at home.

I have a friend my age(27) who talks about sex a lot and we know he gets a lot, we sometimes put bets on him when we see him go to chat up a girl and once we had bets on what STD's he might have when he went to the clinic

so I think the main difference is context bragging probably means not getting any, talking about it may just mean its essentially a hobby

EDIT: yes I know living at home at 27 is a bit lame but it was the only way I could afford to finish my degree (only 5 weeks to go woo!)

 

[SovietSecrets]

I have never had problems talking about sex with people. Its just another topic that most can talk to about freely.

 

[superbatranger]

Well, the way I see it, as I got older I got more mature and sex just became another conversational topic.

 

[Wondermint13]

Hrm.. I'm in a healthy relationship now and before that I was a bit of a naughty rogue so I have my fair share to say on the topic.
I always end up talking about my current sex life with the two guys I train with when we hit the sauna and since I started higher studies again I do find myself dazzling a few people with some old sexual endevours. But I'm pretty open and so is my girlfriend so that's my excuse.
I'm also not an idiot so I dont go telling everybody tales about my penis but if I think I've met somebody who I know wouldnt mind then I cant help myself.

Quite simply.. I talk about sex because I bloody well can!