Ok, here's the real story.

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Yotsuba

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Mar 18, 2009
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Beautiful Princess Peach has a stalker who wouldn't leave her alone, a deformed dwarfish freak of a plumber whose head is the same size as his body.

Princess Peach is relaxing in her castle when this nutjob, cracking on mushrooms, breaks in and starts breaking walls and killing the guards. Before he reaches the Princess' chamber, she escapes through the backdoor to another castle. When the madman gets there, the servant, thinking to himself "please don't kill me please don't kill me please...", says "The princess isn't here, she's in another castle. Just please don't hurt me". The freak has no interest in the poor servant, his glaring eyes are focused on only one person. He leaves the castle and heads to the next castle after the princess.

The same story goes in other castles. The Mushroom Kingdom's officers are in increasing numbers sent to stop the lunatic, but with their poor combat training they prove to be no contest for him. Even the famous hammer brothers only manage to slow him down.

The Mushroom Kingdom has it's bounds and there aren't that many castles to hide into. The Princess decides to hide in the capital castle, into the logic defying maze-like catacombs. The King even puts his royal dragon Bowser to protect her, guarding her right outside her chamber.

Unfortunately this wouldn't stop our drug crazed maniac. The Royal army with their artillery falls, defying logic proves ineffective against a crazy man and pumped full of adrenaline he even defeats the great dragon. The dungeon isn't designed for escape, the princess has nowhere to run anymore. End of the line...
 

Aunel

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May 9, 2008
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That is a entire new perspective...

and I think the king should have used a bass playing dragon to protect the princess, everything goes better when you play bass!
 

Byrn Stuff

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Nov 16, 2009
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Aunel said:
That is a entire new perspective...

and I think the king should have used a bass playing dragon to protect the princess, everything goes better when you play bass!
Electric guitar, barely-understood wailing, and Trogdor.
 

ChocoFace

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Nov 19, 2008
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Aunel said:
That is a entire new perspective...

and I think the king should have used a bass playing dragon to protect the princess, everything goes better when you play bass!
I feel compelled to second this.
 

Aunel

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May 9, 2008
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Byrn Stuff said:
Aunel said:
That is a entire new perspective...

and I think the king should have used a bass playing dragon to protect the princess, everything goes better when you play bass!
Electric guitar, barely-understood wailing, and Trogdor.
oooh, I have a Nemesis now?
an Arch Enemy to destroy?
 

dmase

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Mar 12, 2009
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I can never look at a mario game the same again.

And yet princess peach has a crazed stalker either way.
 

Shoggoth2588

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Aug 31, 2009
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You forgot to mention how the Mushroom Kingdom was the first kingdom to use moats and trenches.