For all of you who do not know me, my name is Chris, I am 21 years old and I have been a long time viewer of the forums but rarely comment for some reason. There have been many crazy things in my life that have happened to me but there is one main event aside from many other shocking discoveries as of late.
I am going to be a father.
There have been many times where I have been up late at night thinking "Why did this ever happen to me" or that it was all some sort of crazy dream, but at first it just felt like some terrible nightmare. I feel like I have gotten somewhat used to the idea but I must admit I am really quite scared. This is going to be one long read so I guess I should start with the beginning or near to it.
It all started off in college, being away from my parents, living a new life with new people and a lot of new experiences. For a while all I wanted to do was just hang out, drink and smoke pot at night and go to class with hangovers by day, and then I met Brittany. We talked every day for as long as we could and enjoyed every second of it. The sex was (and still is) great and we hit it off from day one. I had never felt the way I did for her as I did for anyone else in the world.
After my first year I had realized that I did not want to continue with what I was going to school for and dropped out. By this time I had known Brittany for about 2 weeks and we had decided to date exclusively, but right after that had happened I made a terrible mistake. I am glad I did not do anything more, but I did have another girl sleep in my bed, mind you nothing sexual went on. She ended up forgiving me, even though someone else had told her before she had even gotten out of my bed in the morning.
As I had left school and settled in with my father, Brittany and I had slowly realized that we were not going to be allowed to see each other much as my father lived far enough away that we were only be with each other about once a week. After 3 weeks of knowing her and 1 week of dating, we had decided that I was going to move in with her father. This was quite a big step for me but for some reason I felt urged to go, so I packed again after being settled in for only a few days and off I went.
Things went so great for a while that after a few months we got engaged shortly after moved out and started off on our own. We worked for property management company A for a very short while and left because of terrible work conditions, drug addled co-workers, and a building in a state of disrepair for a better environment with property management B. Things were going great for a while, we started to get on track with finances, got a car and some cats. She had even discovered that she was pregnant, much to my dismay at the time. For a while everything was going great and one day our lives got turned upside down. There was a big misunderstanding with some minor events that had happened with myself and a couple of outside contractors coming into the building, and we ended up getting fired for "Stealing from the company". I had even told my bosses boss about everything that had happened down to the very last detail, and assure him it was not so, but in the end they decided to fire us based upon principle, even though they knew she was pregnant. We only got one week to move and lost our job and our home in one fell swoop.
After it all went down I have been stricken with grief ever since and we cannot even afford to live together, I feel terrible about what had happened and yet despite the complete misunderstanding about what had happened, I feel completely responsible even though it was not intended in the way that they had stated. We have been fighting recently and it has only made me feel worse and I have a job lined up in a few days but I am worried it will not work out.
Sometimes I think about just leaving and starting new and other times I want to get back together, before any of you freak out about this being another advice thread about girls etc. this is not, I feel like i have to type this out to work out my thoughts and see what all of you have to say. In my heart I know that I will always want to be a father but sometimes it just feels like its just too soon.
Enough about me, What I would like to know is long or short, is parenthood worth all the work?
I am going to be a father.
There have been many times where I have been up late at night thinking "Why did this ever happen to me" or that it was all some sort of crazy dream, but at first it just felt like some terrible nightmare. I feel like I have gotten somewhat used to the idea but I must admit I am really quite scared. This is going to be one long read so I guess I should start with the beginning or near to it.
It all started off in college, being away from my parents, living a new life with new people and a lot of new experiences. For a while all I wanted to do was just hang out, drink and smoke pot at night and go to class with hangovers by day, and then I met Brittany. We talked every day for as long as we could and enjoyed every second of it. The sex was (and still is) great and we hit it off from day one. I had never felt the way I did for her as I did for anyone else in the world.
After my first year I had realized that I did not want to continue with what I was going to school for and dropped out. By this time I had known Brittany for about 2 weeks and we had decided to date exclusively, but right after that had happened I made a terrible mistake. I am glad I did not do anything more, but I did have another girl sleep in my bed, mind you nothing sexual went on. She ended up forgiving me, even though someone else had told her before she had even gotten out of my bed in the morning.
As I had left school and settled in with my father, Brittany and I had slowly realized that we were not going to be allowed to see each other much as my father lived far enough away that we were only be with each other about once a week. After 3 weeks of knowing her and 1 week of dating, we had decided that I was going to move in with her father. This was quite a big step for me but for some reason I felt urged to go, so I packed again after being settled in for only a few days and off I went.
Things went so great for a while that after a few months we got engaged shortly after moved out and started off on our own. We worked for property management company A for a very short while and left because of terrible work conditions, drug addled co-workers, and a building in a state of disrepair for a better environment with property management B. Things were going great for a while, we started to get on track with finances, got a car and some cats. She had even discovered that she was pregnant, much to my dismay at the time. For a while everything was going great and one day our lives got turned upside down. There was a big misunderstanding with some minor events that had happened with myself and a couple of outside contractors coming into the building, and we ended up getting fired for "Stealing from the company". I had even told my bosses boss about everything that had happened down to the very last detail, and assure him it was not so, but in the end they decided to fire us based upon principle, even though they knew she was pregnant. We only got one week to move and lost our job and our home in one fell swoop.
After it all went down I have been stricken with grief ever since and we cannot even afford to live together, I feel terrible about what had happened and yet despite the complete misunderstanding about what had happened, I feel completely responsible even though it was not intended in the way that they had stated. We have been fighting recently and it has only made me feel worse and I have a job lined up in a few days but I am worried it will not work out.
Sometimes I think about just leaving and starting new and other times I want to get back together, before any of you freak out about this being another advice thread about girls etc. this is not, I feel like i have to type this out to work out my thoughts and see what all of you have to say. In my heart I know that I will always want to be a father but sometimes it just feels like its just too soon.
Enough about me, What I would like to know is long or short, is parenthood worth all the work?
