Parenting report, need feedback *kinda long post*

[Tanith Ghost]

Okay I?m not sure if anybody here is a parent but I recently wrote this report for my Parenting class in school and was wondering what people think of it, and me being I loner I decided to post it on here to see if I can get some feedback on it, oh yea and it?s kind of worth a lot so feedback to improve it would help a lot, thanks guys.


A guide to Parenting: 5 Basics fundamentals
By: (My real name here)

Child Birth, those two words scare the crap out of many married couples because of how scary it is, all the stories of children being raised in ?wrong? ways, or all the stories of how children get into accidents and the finical costs of raising children, the massive amounts of possible problems make any person say ?what if that happens to my child?? Well you know what I tell those people? Parenting is hard, full of unexpected/predictable events, and if you do your best your child will turn out good, and this guide is here to help you. The first thing you have to know is there are five basic parenting fundamentals and they apply weather it?s a single parent or two parent family, Love, Consistency, Structure, Motivation and Accountability.

Love
Families are built on love, love from the parent to the child. Love should be show to the child in the very important toddle years, love has to be show and supported not just told to the child, action speak louder than words. Remember love is Trust, trust is love and if there isn?t any then the family is in trouble and needs some help.

Consistency
Families need consistency things have to happen at a constant time and rate, kids tend to expect things to happen at cretin times and if a child is to gain in trust with the parent then consistent things should happen constantly.

Structure
A family has to have ?jobs?, for lack of a better word, meaning things families member are expected to do to allow the house hold to function in a smooth and timely fashion. Such as a father in some families ?job? is to work, drive the kids around, and help out with the kids and the kids job is to do chores around the house. A structure, no matter how lose or tight it is, it a necessary thing for each families to function in a successful manner.

Motivation
Motivation is a tricky concept in families; parents have to rely on self motivation which means that they need to remind themselves why they are taking care of there kids and the overall point of it, for the greater good of there kid. The children on the other hand constantly need to be motivated even when they don?t want to; it?s not a job or a parent to be a best friend of the child because a lot of the times the child doesn?t want to be motivated to the parent will have to force his kid to and the kid wont like it.

Accountability
People need to be help accountable of there actions and in a family it is a very important thing if discipline and order is to be held and established. Children are never too young to be held accountable for there actions so when a child dose something wrong don?t dismiss it, they need to be held responsible for what they did, they will yell and argue with you but you as the parent need to stand firm, if you comprises or let them get away with something the child will see that they are able to get away with things and do bad things in the future thinking they could get away with it. So don?t comprise or ignore he bad things children do. Also in turn parents need to be held accountable for what they do, ether it be by there spouse or friend.

Those are the five basic fundamentals of parenting, note that it says BASIC, which means that there are more advanced fundamentals involved with parenting but those are to be covered with someone who has more time to type and is more motivated than me. Just remember parenting is not supposed to be easy it takes a long time, it?s a hard and vigorous process, and then end result is more than enough to justify the hard long journey, a journey that literally lasts a life time. I leave you with a quote from Saint Sabbat to say to your self every time you go threw a struggle, ?If the road is easy, the destination is worthless?

 

[Fire Daemon]

"scare the crap out of many married couples because of how scary it is"

First of all fix this sentence. Bad opening if you want to look like a Mr smarty pants. Maybe say "those two words sacre married couple because of blah blah blah"

I noticed in some paragraphs words are missing and some things don't make sense. Re read it.

But it is a good little report.

 

[stompy]

While I think you're content is fine, you need to work on your spelling. I mean, maybe I'm just seeing typos from when you typed this text into the post box, but you've made a few errors. Just a little thing, cos I'm bored.


Child Birth: these two words scare the crap out of many married couples, because of how scary it is. All the stories of children being raised the "wrong" way, or all the stories of how children get into accidents, the finical costs of raising children and the massive amounts of possible problems make any person say "What if that happens to my child?". Well, you know what I tell those people? Parenting is hard, full of unexpected/predictable events, and if you do your best, your child will turn out fine, and this guide is here to help you. The first thing you have to know is there are five basic parenting fundamentals, and they apply whether it's a single parent- or two parent- family: Love, Consistency, Structure, Motivation and Accountability.

Love
Families are built on love: Love from parent to child. Love should be shown to the child in the very important toddler years. Love has to be shown and supported, not just told to the child. Actions speak louder than words. Remember, love is trust, trust is love, and if there isn't any, then the family is in trouble and needs some help.

Consistency
Families need consistency. Things have to happen at a constant time and rate. Kids tend to expect things to happen at certain times, and if a child is to gain trust with the parent, then consistent things should happen constantly.

Structure
A family has to have "jobs", for lack of a better word. This refers to responsibilities families member are expected to adhere to, in order to allow the household to function in a smooth and timely fashion, such as the fathers "job" to work, drive the kids around, and help out with the kids, and the kid's "job" to do chores around the house. A structure, no matter how loose or tight , is necessary for each family to function in a successful manner.

Motivation
Motivation is a tricky concept in families. Parents have to rely on self motivation, which means they need to remind themselves why they are taking care of they're kids, and the overall point of it: for the greater good of they're kid. The children, on the other hand, constantly need to be motivated, even when they don't want to; it's not the job of the parent to be a best friend, because a lot of the times, the child doesn't want to be motivated - the parent will have to force their kid and the kid won't like it.

Accountability
People need to be held accountable for they're actions. In a family, accountability is very important if discipline and order is to be established and maintained. Children are never too young to be held accountable for they're actions, so when a child does something wrong, don't dismiss it- they need to be held responsible for what they did. They will yell and argue with you, but you as the parent need to stand firm. If you comprise, the child will see that they are able to get away with things, and misbehave in the future, thinking they will not be reprimanded. So, don't comprise or ignore the bad things children do. Also, in turns, parents need to be held accountable for what they do, either it be by their spouse, or friend.

These changes are just a few thing's I picked up on my first reading. I highly suggest you go back, reread what you've written, and edit your own work.
Note: I wasn't able to understand a few of your sentences, so I suggest you get someone else who you can explain the unclear passages to, and get them to help you. Just a little advice.

 

[Arcadia2000]

Problem:
There is nothing to support the thought that [if you do your best that your child will turn out "good."] There are too many factors to account for to make that statement with any kind of dependability. While the spelling and grammar are significant issuses if this paper is being graded on that as well as content, there is no way that you can promise that doing these 5 basic things will guarantee a "good" child. Doing your best means different things for different people. My father did his best. He loved us. He demanded accountability. He had a job. He motivated us. He was consistent... sort of. And my sisters and I have ALL needed some serious therapy due to issues with our parents. I'm not going into why; it's not important here. It's debatable as to whether or not we turned out "good."

"Good" is such a vague term. A Christian standpoint would state that first there ARE absolutes between good and evil/bad, but that no one person could ever truely be "good" because we are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God, therefore needing a savior. How are YOU defining "good?" Not dead? Not on welfare? Has a job that enables them to live on their own? Hates their job and their life but makes oodles of money? Will get married and have children of their own? Drug-free? Smokes pot but doesn't deal to children? Isn't an alcoholic or a compulsive gambler but takes seven years to get a degree and decides after three years that it's not what they wanted to do and goes back to college again? What is "good?" What is "bad?" What is "okay?" Not only can you not simply promise "good," but you have to define EXACTLY what this guide is designed to do. "These are the first steps to being an effective parent, and while you can't control what effect the world will have on your children, you CAN choose what kind of effect YOU can have on your children if you want to be a positive role model and an effective parent." Something more like that. You can even use it if you want, I won't cry plagarism on you. ^_^ It's not stealing if I gave it to you!
By the way, you forgot "Patience." =P

[I'm not even going to go INTO the kinds of trouble this guide would present to parents raising a child with a disability of some kind. We'd have to define "What is 'normal?'" Not going there today.]

 

[Echolocating]

What grade are you in, Tanith?

I'd like to help, but I feel like I could go overboard and try to push some improvements that would be expected beyond even a high school level. I have one child, a 3-year-old, and it's been quite the ride so far. I know it's not much experience, but you'd be amazed at how quickly "seasoned" parents forget what it was like raising infants and toddlers. I swear, if my parents were to raise my child, they'd probably spread out some newspaper in a corner, dump some food on the floor, and plunk down a bowl of water. Sometimes, it honestly seems that way. ;-)

 

[monodiabloloco]

I realize that you are required to write a paper for a class on this subject...however telling any parent how to raise their kid is usually a quick way to piss them off. Giving suggestions on how to deal with individual situations is fine, but a general guide to raising kids is not something any parent should ever pick up or pay attention to. You do it or you don't. If you want your kid to be a good kid, defined by everyone differently, then you will know how to handle them. If something isn't working, you will try a different tactic. My daughter (6) is a great kid by my idea of the word. I don't just say that as a parent.. we all love our kids... I say it because I see how she behaves and am pleased how she is turning out. What I do to ensure that she is a good kid may not work for other kids. Many parents frown on spanking their kids. I have my own ideas on that. Some parents think that 'time outs' are the best way to deal with a kid throwing a fit. I took steps to make sure that my kid didn't throw fits... everyone is a parent in a different way.
One of your earlier statements is the closest to truth:
"Parenting is hard, full of unexpected/predictable events, and if you do your best your child will turn out good...."
That is mostly true, but not 100%. Sometimes, no matter how well you raise your kid, they turn out bad. Sometimes, they choose to listen to outside influences instead of you. You can NEVER be sure that your kid will turn out to be a good person. All you can do is your best.
Not that I don't agree with some of what you said, just that it doesn't work for everyone.
Love? Sure, I feel you should show your kids love. Accountability, definitely. That holds true in today's world for EVERYONE. I seem to be the only person willing to say, "Yeah, I fucked up." I learned that from my father. An abusive alcoholic. Though the same lesson, I teach my daughter in a much different way. It's a two way street though. Take accountability for your actions as an adult and as a parent, and your kids will hopefully pick up on it.
How about Truth. Telling your kids how important truth is and always being honest with them are a heavy part of what works for me. Of course that's how I do it. Others? Well we all find what works for us.
Being a parent is one of the most important things you can ever do. Telling someone how to do is is impossible.
Sorry.. went a bit ranty there.

 

[Tanith Ghost]

Thanks for all the advice on how to improve it guy I appreciate it I am looking it over it to fix it up, again THANKS GUYS YOUR THE GREATES i have to hand it in 2marrow, so I will let you guys know what i get on it if this topic is still around.