Picking up at a club

[bluemistake2]

So basically, as a bit of a back story; I just got out of an incredibly bad relationship. She was my first I was her's yada yada you guys know how the story goes, it all goes downhill and before you know it, after a few years you're single.

So essentially I just want a fling, not a big romance not a relationship, just a fling, currently I'm going through a stage of massive self improvement and I'd just like to keep it like that. I'm going out with a few mates on Saturday and I'm really not used to the club scene at all and I really don't even know how to go about it.
I know this seems like the 'douchey' thing to do but truth be told I just need something to help me move on and just have a little fun.

 

[BakedSardine]

A few drinks, talk to some chicks, you'll know if they're interested. Nothing wrong with trying to get a little stink on the hang-low after a breakup.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

I was actually talking about this with someone the other day.

I don't think I'd be comfortable with something like that, I want sex to be more than just fucking.

For me, there's has to be a level of affection there, the kind you get from spending time talking with someone for a period of time longer than one night.

I'm a bit of a romantic though

 

[JoJo]

1) Find a desirable female, preferably physically matured and human

2) Make the mating signal at the female

If she responds in kind, you're good to go! If not... try again I guess.

 

[Colour Scientist]

If you want to pick someone up for a casual one-night stand then a club is the perfect place to go. They're not exactly well known for the beginnings of great love stories.

My advice would be to not go in there with the single goal of getting laid because otherwise if it doesn't happen, you're not going to have a good time. Go out with your friends, enjoy the night, dance a bit, drink a bit and chat to some girls. If you're not used to it, keeping it casual at first will improve your confidence and you'll become more comfortable.

The smoking area in clubs is actually a good place to start talking to people and it's generally not as loud or as manic as the bar or the dance-floor.

As an aside, please don't just stare at girls on the dance-floor or just grab people. I'm not saying that you would but it's happened to me so many times in clubs and it's really unpleasant and just completely ruins the night.

 

[Strazdas]

1) Find a desirable female, preferably physically matured and human

2) Make the mating signal at the female

If she responds in kind, you're good to go! If not... try again I guess.

basically this. Picking cold is all about trying and failing. You will fail. A lot. And thats ok. Everyone does. The "Friends with benefits" stands are a dream of many but a reality of few. There are many factors for this which im not going into right now just yet.
Just try, but dont be annoying (as in if she said no that means no and ductape[footnote]Ductape turns a "no no" into a "mmm mmm"[/footnote] wont change that). And try a lot.

 

[SaetonChapelle]

Although I am not a huge fan of just picking up people at a bar, plenty of people do it. Always be aware though, if someone is willing to have sex with someone they barely know at a bar, chances are they've done it before. You will be one of the (assuming) many sex partners, and every illness they've had can become yours. Getting tested for men is not a pleasurable experience.

That being said, just at least pretend to be interested. Create conversation. Allow her to talk about herself. Be weary that she doesn't use the excuse "I was drunk and he took advantage of me". Make them laugh. Stay sober yourself.

 

[Gaius Livius]

I was actually talking about this with someone the other day.

I don't think I'd be comfortable with something like that, I want sex to be more than just fucking.

For me, there's has to be a level of affection there, the kind you get from spending time talking with someone for a period of time longer than one night.

I'm a bit of a romantic though

Awwwww that is so cute. I think I am having a moment here. I need a hug.


I'm like that too if I am honest.

 

[Naeras]

Yeeeeaaah.. here's the thing about trying to pick people up shortly after a break-up: it doesn't generally work. Being in an emotional state that's caused by the last relationship you had, where "moving on" is the main reason for wanting to get laid, is unattractive to say the least. It really does show in how you act if this is the case, and women can smell that shit from a mile away. There's the extremely slim chance of pity sex, but betting on people to sleep with you because they feel sorry for you rather than because they find you attractive is a really bad bet.

The best advice I can come up with is try to genuinely enjoy yourself that evening, and rather than spending the evening thinking "omg i have to SCORE BIG OMGAR". You will come off as desperate if you focus on getting laid, and that's one of the best ways to get women to avoid you, and if your focus for the evening is solely on getting laid, you will feel extremely disappointed if you don't get anyone home with you, which is just going to cause more frustration on your part.

That, or you could just hit on absolutely everything with two X-chromosomes. It'll make you feel like a complete fucking idiot whether or not you get laid, but there's often at least one person at the premises who's horny enough to leave with the first random person that hits on them. (still, please don't do this. It's a fucking horrible idea)

Of course, this is provided that I have interpreted the situation here correctly and that you feel you need to get laid to get your self-esteem and emotions back in order. If you actually are at a place where you feel genuinely comfortable with yourself, then by all means, go nuts. Talk to the ladies, strike up conversation about everything or nothing, go dance with them, etc etc.
..actually, you should do those things either way. It'll still be fun. It's just that the chance of someone wanting to jump your bones is way higher if your self-esteem is in order.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I'm too much of a romantic to do that although I fantasized doing that a couple months ago. I'm the kind of guy who's looking for a life to share in, not a bed to warm for a night. I can't help you OP. I'd be the most awkward guy in the club!

 

[FalloutJack]

Try to have a good time. If you go there trying to pick up chicks instead, you will not have a good time.