Poll: A Clean Conscience

[Sharkeyes]

Ok, so, here's my problem. I dated a girl after being one of her friends for quite a while. We broke up, and it was kind of messy, and even though she begged me to keep being her friend I completely stopped talking to her like a jack@$$. Well, I'm about to graduate and go into the Army and I can't stop thinking about how much of a jerk I was. Should I apologize to her and restart our friendship or just go on and quit worrying about it and learn from it.

 

[Jedoro]

Even if it doesn't fix the friendship, go ahead and apologize. If she accepts the apology, all is well. If she's a ***** about it, then you can feel a little self-righteous, and all is well.

 

[Sharkeyes]

Seems legit. You're right. Either way I'll win. Worst case scenario I'll be able to hold my head up and say I tried. Thanks for the help.

 

[Batou667]

Yeah, I agree. There's a lot to be said for getting stuff off your chest.

 

[The Night Angel]

An apology always makes you feel better, whether they accept it or not. It won't change what you did, but it will help you learn from your mistakes.

 

[Limecake]

I don't think you owe it to her to be her friend, if you honestly want to be friends with her (and nothing more) then go ahead and apologize. Honestly though you should have known going into the relationship that your friendship would never be the same again.

If it's bothering you a lot, apologize, if you feel bad for hurting her feelings but don't want to remain friends with her than you shouldn't have to apologize.

How long has it been since you ended things? you have to remember that our brains tend to remember people (especially those we were romantically involved with) in a positive light even if things weren't always so great. Could it be that maybe you're lonely and miss her?

you broke up for a reason didn't you? How would you feel if you two became friends again and she started dating someone else (even someone you know?) or how would she feel if you started dating someone else?

In the end it's your decision.

 

[Galletea]

You should apologise, you've realised you were an asshat and you know you should tell her so, you're just afraid she'll throw it in your face.
If she does, you'll be no worse off then you are now, so do it. She might still want to be your friend. It's obviously something that is bothering you, so if you do it, then you will at least be satisfied that you didn't leave it at a loose end.

 

[bernardblack]

Apologizing is the best way to go. I faced this situation recently, and while the other person didn't accept my apology, it helped me to let go of some stuff I'd been holding onto for too long. So even if she doesn't accept it, you can feel better knowing that you tried to make things right.

 

[CruisingForBiddies]

An apology is the way to go, at least you can say to yourself that you did that. Even if she doesn't accept it.

 

[porpoise hork]

Apologize if you want but honestly it probably wont make any difference to her especially if its been any measurable amount of time since you two broke up. Plus she is likely to throw it back in your face about how you acted.

The bigger issue is once you manage to go from the friend zone to the boyfriend zone it is nearly impossible to go back to the friend zone and not have all sorts of shit pop up.

 

[Brown Cap]

Should youi apologize? Hell Yeah
Should you try to bring the friendship back? Hell No

Sounds like you dropped the ball. Swallow your pride and apologize - deeply and honestly. Don't expect her to be forgiving either, but either way she reacts you'll fill a tad better knowing you (eventually) did what was right.
You've been a jerk too long, she won't want to be friends.
This is truth, not insult.

But yeah do this ^