Poll: Abortions in today's society: your views

[Mandalore_15]

A story covered by the BBC today has really set me thinking:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12117299

To summarise, 584 women in the UK this last year have become pregnant despite being fitted with a contraceptive implant. Many of these women have found that by the time they've realised they're pregnant they are outside the window for having an abortion, and thus have been forced to keep the baby.

Now, this immediately caught my attention because my girlfriend has the very same implant. You can understand how this might worry me: we're both 22, both finishing university this year and looking forward to launching into our careers. However, if something were to happen and she got pregnant, it's pretty much game over. She has told me that she doesn't think she would ever feel comfortable terminating a child no matter what stage of development it was in. However, I would feel very strongly inclined towards termination (within a reasonable time frame), and I can't help but feel that even though I would stick by her and do my best as a father and partner in these circumstances, there would always be a part of me that would resent her for her decision and how it had ruined our plans.

So then, these are my questions to you: what do you think the average public attitude towards abortions is? What are your experiences of them? Do you think men are under-represented in the decision-making process and the financial aftermath?



N.B. I know some of you will say that this should be on the religion an dpolitics board, but frankly I want to keep religious views on abortion OUT OF IT. To me they are less than worthless.

 

[TheTaco007]

The average person is an idiot. (At least in this country.) Don't listen to them. Look, you both know that it will effectively RUIN YOUR LIVES if she has a baby. Get. An. Abortion. If you want kids later, you can have kids later.

 

[Nimcha]

Heh, I've never heard of that implant before. I can see your worry, if it's not 100% safe then what's the point right? Maybe your girlfriend should consider the pill?

 

[Mandalore_15]

The average person is an idiot. (At least in this country.) Don't listen to them. Look, you both know that it will effectively RUIN YOUR LIVES if she has a baby. Get. An. Abortion. If you want kids later, you can have kids later.

I agree with you entirely. The problem is that the woman gets all the say in whether she has an abortion and the man gets none of it... this is what worries me if she were to become pregnant. I don't want to have that kind of stress on our relationship.

 

[Kevlar Eater]

I'm all for abortion, but like the guy above me said, the problem lies within the woman wanting to keep the baby. This pro-life stance makes problems for the couple both in the short and long term, if they intend to stick together.

 

[Estelindis]

No one has the right to kill a defenceless child, whether that child is born or unborn. A person can choose to share sex with their partner in the knowledge that no method of contraception is completely foolproof (or at least they should know that if they have a proper sex education - but, frankly, in the absence of one, an adult should do the research and find out for themselves from genuinely reliable medical and bioethical sources). Once a person makes that choice, the responsibility for that choice falls on them rather than on the innocent child who did not choose to be conceived. The person has the responsibility to carry the child to term and ensure the child is cared for.

 

[Mr. Omega]

Personally? I don't like abortion. But I'm not the one pregnant, now am I? If it's what they think is right, I may not like it, but it's their choice.

 

[Mandalore_15]

Heh, I've never heard of that implant before. I can see your worry, if it's not 100% safe then what's the point right? Maybe your girlfriend should consider the pill?

My girlfriend was on the pill. Her doctor took her off it because it was giving her headaches and nasty mood-swings all the time. He also said that the implant was MORE effective than the pill... so far we've had no problems but this report has given me reason to question his statements!

 

[Boneasse]

It's absolutely sensible to get an abortion in your situation, should you girlfriend get pregnant. The average public attitude towards abortions are overly positive, unless you count religious fanatics, and who does?

You should only have a child when you're ready for it. Negating a child is severely worse than having an abortion in every way, if you're not ready for it.

On the subject matter of her implant, I'd say you should start using condoms if you are very worried. Just to be on the safer side.

Trust me, not everyone who has decided to keep a baby due to an "unintentional" pregnancy are happy with their choice later in life.

 

[Nimcha]

Heh, I've never heard of that implant before. I can see your worry, if it's not 100% safe then what's the point right? Maybe your girlfriend should consider the pill?

My girlfriend was on the pill. Her doctor took her off it because it was giving her headaches and nasty mood-swings all the time. He also said that the implant was MORE effective than the pill... so far we've had no problems but this report has given me reason to question his statements!

Yeah, understandable. I have no clue about birth control as I don't use it, so I won't say any more about it.

As for abortion, I do think it should be the mother's choice. Then again, her choice affects the whole relationship so the man shouldn't be voiceless either. I think the best thing would be to talk about it beforehand, like you have. And do it safely, of course.

It is not an easy matter. Though I do think people should stop shouting about how abortion kills innocent children. It's not a child, just a fetus.

 

[Mandalore_15]

No one has the right to kill a defenceless child, whether that child is born or unborn. A person chooses to have sex in the knowledge that no method of contraception is completely foolproof (or at least they should know that if they have a proper sex education - but, frankly, in the absence of one, an adult should do the research and find out for themselves from genuinely reliable sources). Once a person makes that choice, the responsibility for that choice falls on them rather than on the innocent child who did not choose to be conceived. The person has the responsibility to carry the child to term and ensure the child is cared for.

At what stage do you consider it to be "a child" though? As soon as the egg is fertilised and it's effectively a single-celled organism with the potential to become a human being, or later after it's developed more? I'm not asking these questions to be hostile or anything, I'm just interested in your views.

I think there's one point I disagree on though and that the 100% effectiveness thing... while there are labels etc. on contrceptives that warn of these things, the fact is that doctors have been giving lots of young women the implant and giving them the strong impression that it is pretty much 100% effective... I think people have to live their lives with some guarantees. If not, they'd never have sex ever, and what kind of life would that be?

 

[joytex]

I was fairly Pro-abortion until I watched a speech from a woman who had actually survived a late abortion. Kinda put things into perspective that they are human beings. And when it comes down to it there's very few things worth murdering children for.

 

[Jamboxdotcom]

i believe abortion is wrong, but i also don't feel it should be illegal. but more to the point of your question, no, i don't feel men should have much say at all in the decision-making process. it's the woman's body. if we're gonna screw 'em, we gotta live with the consequences.

 

[dsmops2003]

Personally I don't like abortions but thats not my choice to make. If someone feels they have no other choice then so be it. They will have to live with their decisions, not you or I. I am glad I made the choice I made. I love my son more than I ever could have imagined. Being a parent is hard work but rewarding.

 

[Lieju]

Whenever people talk about abortions, they seem to turn it into black-and-white, yes-or-no question, which it is not.

There is no moment in fetal development where we can clearly say we have a new human individual there, it's a gradual process, and a zygote should not have the same rights as a 9-months old fetus that is about to be born any day and can easily survive without the mother.

No one has the right to kill a defenceless child, whether that child is born or unborn.

What is your definition for a child? At which point of the fertilization/pregnancy it should be considered a human?

 

[Aulleas123]

Being a religious person and pro-choice, I'd like to apologize for the religious arguments that come out from our side. However, I've met a few people (not a lot, but a few) who argue from a pro-life stance while being agnostic or atheist. Not all of the pro-life arguments are focused on religion or on what God wills. I wouldn't agree with these statements anyway because pro-life legal constrictions drive families into economic hardship and would open the door to "back-alley abortions" which are incredibly dangerous and could lead to the woman being hurt or even killed.

As much as I disagree with the pro-life argument, I don't think abortions should be paid for in a government health care. It forces people who pay taxes to have some of their taxes cover couples to make decisions that they don't agree with. Sorry to go down this route, but I believe in the US we have a pretty good compromise of allowing abortions and protections of those rights but not forcing everyone to be involved.

To answer your question, if the contraceptive implant fails despite your care to not get your girlfriend pregnant, then abortion is perfectly acceptable. This is why the laws allowing abortions are in place, its not to encourage them but to give a safety net for couples who want to have sex without having children.

 

[Space Spoons]

I think it's ultimately a private thing. Making laws about it is a little like making laws about how to go to the bathroom, in my opinion. When it comes right down to it, nobody's opinion on the subject should matter except for the woman who's actually having the abortion.

 

[GiantRaven]

Heh, I've never heard of that implant before. I can see your worry, if it's not 100% safe then what's the point right? Maybe your girlfriend should consider the pill?

What, another method of contraception that isn't 100% effective? Like all methods of contraception (except, of course, abstinence).

edit: It's also important to note that a few of these cases were an example of the implementation method failing rather than the implant itself.