Alright lets start this out right... I like Red Dead Redemption, and you can quote me on it, this game does everything possible to piss me off however. Well, that and my controller is starting to get into that you can't stop moving problem, anyway back on topic, Red Dead is a game most well give a max score because it was brilliant, I'll agree its pure gold, but gold and still have a few dents, and scratches in it.
Red Dead Redemption starts out in Black Water, New Austin, where John Marston is being sent by the government to hunt down several individuals he used to "run with", meaning he was a member of a gang and the individuals were partners in crime. John decides to give the first of these people, Bill Williamson, a chance to hand himself over with no problems, Bill isn't exactly in the giving mood but gives John a parting give being a bullet in his chest which in reality probably would have killed him given the circumstance, but John is rescued by the local farmers that happened to be traveling near a major gang hideout for....? Actually, that not explained, however through much hard work John gets a posse together to hunt down Bill, which goes fine except Bill is gone off to Mexico to get with another old friend of John's, whose name escapes me right now. John then rides the rivers separating Mexico and the U.S, with the help of a drunk who is too cowardly to fire a gun cause he's still hungover from last week. John, and huckleberry... I mean... Irish get to Mexico and Irish is never seen again, which is a real shame because if anyone deserves to get shot its Irish. John meets an old timer who was a famous gunslinger in his better days, which teaches John how to place his shots carefully, a horny dictator of Mexico, and another horny soon to be leader (dictator) of Mexico, the game even being gracefully enough to show you that horny bastard rolling in the hay with a chubby Mexican women for no particular reason. John is betrayed by the current dictator, and forced to help the horny rebel leader. John finds the Mexican fellow who was with Bill Williamson lest you have forgotten, and you choose his fate. And if you're like me you waited for John to try and say something badass and blast the hogtied Mexican right in the face with a shotgun. Once again Bill has run off, and how fun it is to chase someone so easy to get, the current dictator named Allende sacrifices Bill to save his own hide, which in my playthrough left me pissed as this bastard had the man John has been hunting for the last few weeks, and discards him like yogurt at a sperm bank. So I shot Allende, and the next dictator of Mexico does me the most disrespectful kill steal of all time, and shoots Bill seconds before Allende can hit the ground. Leaving me with a pissed off mood, I stop playing for a couple of days and return after making a withdrawal from the Yogurt bank, feeling oddly energetic, I return with the hopes John can finally return to his family, and I can go have a discussion with the new horny dictator of Mexico and by discussion I mean a discussion that would make the Godfather wet himself. John is forced to hunt down the man who was like a father to him, which we've seen in games and movies to make it a large cliche. Anyway, the leader of the gang John was in named Dutch by the way, commits suicide, being the second kill steal of the game, and leaving me with another two day vacation. John is finally reunited with his wife, and puberty stricken son, who nearly get killed by a bear, but John steps in and stops the game from stealing another of my kills... okay not really, but he does save his son. Lastly, and John and family all get ready to FINALLY END THIS CHARADE of innocence, John is once again betrayed by the government. On a side note, why does John get betrayed so much? his cause is noble, and he truly just wants redemption, but every step of the way is betrayal which has become this game's major cliche. The Government kill John because instead of throwing some dynamite out the obvious giant gaping hole in the roof he goes out the same way Jenkins went in Mass Effect shot enough an orgy would think that's too many holes. So after John has died, you play Jack, John's son who grows up to be Johnny Depp ironic since John and Johnny Depp share a first name. Its been 20 or so years since John's death, and his wife now joins him to truly show you how much they cared for each other, and Jack has been carrying John's 27 wolf meats for the last 20 years. Now Jack wants revenge and hunts down the man who ordered the hit on his father, and wins the epic showdown which you can pretty much imagine happening in any ending of anything.
Now earlier I said the game tries everything to piss me off, and for me there are a couple of faults in the game, John/Jack can't prove that white men can jump, the cover system only works if the cover isn't a circular object cause John will randomly run around like hes in Benny Hill, the little stealth aspect is only used once (twice if you know how to "Assassin's Creed" an enemy), and the random events while very game changing, can piss you off completely this is my example: I am going down the road killing deer when suddenly a man yells "Y'all gots ta help me! They're gonna hang mah wife!" I follow him and I get in a gun fight with some bandits and I'm the kind that quickly aim and shoot, so I can dispatch enemies quickly, but the game has a habit of aiming at any civilian 40 yards off the screen, so gun fights can be a ***** to fight if a wandering merchant wants to see "whatcha buying stranger?", and you blow his brain into the nearby children playing Texas hold'em. So I shot the man I was helping right in the middle of the fight, I lose honor, and the wife chokes to death leaving me with a hard to explain situation to the local authorities.
So thats my first review of a video game, despite ranting about games to friends, and even random strangers who ask me my opinion on a certain game, and if you're wondering about a score... screw you, read the first sentence.
Red Dead Redemption starts out in Black Water, New Austin, where John Marston is being sent by the government to hunt down several individuals he used to "run with", meaning he was a member of a gang and the individuals were partners in crime. John decides to give the first of these people, Bill Williamson, a chance to hand himself over with no problems, Bill isn't exactly in the giving mood but gives John a parting give being a bullet in his chest which in reality probably would have killed him given the circumstance, but John is rescued by the local farmers that happened to be traveling near a major gang hideout for....? Actually, that not explained, however through much hard work John gets a posse together to hunt down Bill, which goes fine except Bill is gone off to Mexico to get with another old friend of John's, whose name escapes me right now. John then rides the rivers separating Mexico and the U.S, with the help of a drunk who is too cowardly to fire a gun cause he's still hungover from last week. John, and huckleberry... I mean... Irish get to Mexico and Irish is never seen again, which is a real shame because if anyone deserves to get shot its Irish. John meets an old timer who was a famous gunslinger in his better days, which teaches John how to place his shots carefully, a horny dictator of Mexico, and another horny soon to be leader (dictator) of Mexico, the game even being gracefully enough to show you that horny bastard rolling in the hay with a chubby Mexican women for no particular reason. John is betrayed by the current dictator, and forced to help the horny rebel leader. John finds the Mexican fellow who was with Bill Williamson lest you have forgotten, and you choose his fate. And if you're like me you waited for John to try and say something badass and blast the hogtied Mexican right in the face with a shotgun. Once again Bill has run off, and how fun it is to chase someone so easy to get, the current dictator named Allende sacrifices Bill to save his own hide, which in my playthrough left me pissed as this bastard had the man John has been hunting for the last few weeks, and discards him like yogurt at a sperm bank. So I shot Allende, and the next dictator of Mexico does me the most disrespectful kill steal of all time, and shoots Bill seconds before Allende can hit the ground. Leaving me with a pissed off mood, I stop playing for a couple of days and return after making a withdrawal from the Yogurt bank, feeling oddly energetic, I return with the hopes John can finally return to his family, and I can go have a discussion with the new horny dictator of Mexico and by discussion I mean a discussion that would make the Godfather wet himself. John is forced to hunt down the man who was like a father to him, which we've seen in games and movies to make it a large cliche. Anyway, the leader of the gang John was in named Dutch by the way, commits suicide, being the second kill steal of the game, and leaving me with another two day vacation. John is finally reunited with his wife, and puberty stricken son, who nearly get killed by a bear, but John steps in and stops the game from stealing another of my kills... okay not really, but he does save his son. Lastly, and John and family all get ready to FINALLY END THIS CHARADE of innocence, John is once again betrayed by the government. On a side note, why does John get betrayed so much? his cause is noble, and he truly just wants redemption, but every step of the way is betrayal which has become this game's major cliche. The Government kill John because instead of throwing some dynamite out the obvious giant gaping hole in the roof he goes out the same way Jenkins went in Mass Effect shot enough an orgy would think that's too many holes. So after John has died, you play Jack, John's son who grows up to be Johnny Depp ironic since John and Johnny Depp share a first name. Its been 20 or so years since John's death, and his wife now joins him to truly show you how much they cared for each other, and Jack has been carrying John's 27 wolf meats for the last 20 years. Now Jack wants revenge and hunts down the man who ordered the hit on his father, and wins the epic showdown which you can pretty much imagine happening in any ending of anything.
Now earlier I said the game tries everything to piss me off, and for me there are a couple of faults in the game, John/Jack can't prove that white men can jump, the cover system only works if the cover isn't a circular object cause John will randomly run around like hes in Benny Hill, the little stealth aspect is only used once (twice if you know how to "Assassin's Creed" an enemy), and the random events while very game changing, can piss you off completely this is my example: I am going down the road killing deer when suddenly a man yells "Y'all gots ta help me! They're gonna hang mah wife!" I follow him and I get in a gun fight with some bandits and I'm the kind that quickly aim and shoot, so I can dispatch enemies quickly, but the game has a habit of aiming at any civilian 40 yards off the screen, so gun fights can be a ***** to fight if a wandering merchant wants to see "whatcha buying stranger?", and you blow his brain into the nearby children playing Texas hold'em. So I shot the man I was helping right in the middle of the fight, I lose honor, and the wife chokes to death leaving me with a hard to explain situation to the local authorities.
So thats my first review of a video game, despite ranting about games to friends, and even random strangers who ask me my opinion on a certain game, and if you're wondering about a score... screw you, read the first sentence.
