Poll: Dating or marriage?

[LessThanThreep]

So most people of my age group think that dating is awesome, and that anyone who is single should have their most sincere pity. I think the thing that make me stick out a bit among fellow women is that I don't date someone unless I would consider marrying them- this discounts most of my peers seeing as I have something of high standards. I'm curious if this is just a strange thing I do or if most geeky types do this.

Tell me, do you prefer the idea of dating or marriage?

 

[noxymoron19]

too get some perspective here it would help if you told us what our age group is.

Me, I'm seventeen and dating a girl I know I'll never marry. Its fun and cool. But it does seem kinda pointless at times when i really think about it. I'd still say dating though as long as your at least enjoying it.

 

[Sinclair Solutions]

I prefer neither to be honest. I'm just a point in my life where I am more focused on getting ahead rather than finding a meaningless relationship. I personally just don't see any benefit for it. BUT THIS VIEW IS ONLY BASED ON ME, I'm not saying it's a fact.

 

[Palindromes]

I dont really understand the point of dating someone unless you plan on having a long lasting relationship with them. Marriage, to me, is pointless, so I wont go in to that; but I seem to be viewed as an oddity, being 16, I dont understand the point in being in a relationship unless you plan on making it long term. It just seems like a waste, why bother being with someone if you dont plan on being with them long term?

 

[Aris Khandr]

Marriage. I like commitment. Unfortunately, my ex seems to avoid commitment like I avoid spiders.

 

[Lilani]

Ultimately, I want to find someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. And when I find that person, I don't want to spend the rest of my life as their girlfriend, just as much as I don't want him to be my boyfriend. I want to be his wife, and I want him to be my husband. I see boyfriend and girlfriend as temporary titles. Either the relationship ends, or it goes to that next level. "Dating" is not, by any means, a permanent situation. Sure, it can last quite a long time, but it is never the final destination of a relationship.

To sit there in the "dating" status perpetually seems to me like never taking the training wheels off of your bicycle. Sure, you'll get along well enough, but isn't the point of training wheels to get you ready for the next step?

I always like to throw this story into topics like these. It's a story of a couple who just love each other so much, even as one of them is slowly dying. There's a quote in there that sums it up quite nicely: "Being married is like having a color television set. You never want to go back to black and white."

 

[Scolar Visari]

I was taught "Don't fuck someone if you're not at least 3/4 willing to have a kid with them". Sure, it might "limit" me in some ways compared to others I socialize with. But, I'm content with it.

 

[Chemical Alia]

Dating, if only because I don't care much for the idea of marriage. I've been in a relationship with one guy for almost eight years, though. Never really dated either, so I guess I don't really care much.

 

[iLikeHippos]

I would NEVER consider marriage unless I am well aware what woman I am with, and if I have special feelings for her.

This, however, can only be achieved by first dating. But, if the former reasons fail to apply to this scenario, well, a good nobbing isn't so bad (If it happens at all) after all.
Got to grab what I can. Can't waste my time can I?

Also, it feels as if you're restricting yourself pretty good there from some fun times. But that's just my point of view.

 

[jyork89]

Maybe I am missing the point, but isn't this poll kinda weird? I mean is it like saying I won't ask the guy/girl I like out on a date, because I don't like those. Instead I will ask them to marry me. The way I see it dating with no hope of marriage at all is kinda sad, but at the same time marriage with no dating is even worse, almost an arranged marriage. The two go together.

The way I see it dating shouldn't be for the purpose of marriage. Rather marriage should be for the purpose of publicizing and affirming a relationship, and dating is the way to create such a relationship. Marriage means so little in this modern world. People see marriage as a means to a closer relationship. If anything, in reality marriage just strains a weak relationship and enhances a preexisting strong one.

So in answer to your poll, I see them as both co-existing. I think a better question would be marriage or cohabitation. As they are essentially both the same legally, minus a ring and a ceremony.

 

[JMeganSnow]

It just seems like a waste, why bother being with someone if you dont plan on being with them long term?

How do you learn whether you *want* to keep someone around long term? That's what the entire relationship process (including dating) is for.

I have no real interest in dating or marriage, so I'm going with option C: fantasy. Maybe not as fulfilling as having an actual person around, but certainly less problematic. Might be different if I met the right guy, but I'm pretty sure the right guy would have the good sense not to want anything to do with me, so I'm not holding my breath.

 

[brunothepig]

Well, I plan on marrying my girlfriend, but as far as I see, as long as both of you know the relationship isn't really going anywhere, there's no problem. If both of you are just in it for fun or whatever, then it's really not a problem. If you're leading your partner along with no intention of marrying them, it's kinda low in my opinion.
Of course, I didn't know I was gonna marry my girlfriend when I started dating her. Isn't that what dating is about? Do I want to spend forever with you? That kinda thing.
Also, your poll is just so broken. Are you saying would you rather be dating or married to a person? Isn't that kind of a situational question?

 

[SovietSecrets]

I would like to date around a bit before marrying, but it really can go either way for me.

 

[jamesworkshop]

I can't see any difficulty, first dating, then marriage, these are not mutually exclusive things, one naturally leads to the other over a suficent period of time.

 

[Murais]

I was taught "Don't fuck someone if you're not at least 3/4 willing to have a kid with them". Sure, it might "limit" me in some ways compared to others I socialize with. But, I'm content with it.

This. It's pretty much saved me from being in some tight places in college that could have ended badly.

Literally.

 

[WingedIncubus]

Dating. Multiple women.

Only a sucker would go for marriage these days. Why should I put half of my property and my hard-gained money in jeopardy for a female, and pay for her lifestyle after the divorce while she's boning someone else?

 

[Cowabungaa]

Dating. Multiple women.

Only a sucker would go for marriage these days. Why should I put half of my property and my hard-gained money in jeopardy for a female, and pay for her lifestyle after the divorce while she's boning someone else?

You're not forced to do that or something. I know I'm never going to marry with those terms, screw that.

 

[Sronpop]

Well im not married, but i don't see the excitement in marriages, well like I know if I ever got married I would keep it exciting because I am awesome like that, but most married couples just 'be', there is no fun in that, if you go out on a date or on the pull, you have no idea whats gonna happen, the unknown is fun.

 

[WingedIncubus]

You're not forced to do that or something. I know I'm never going to marry with those terms, screw that.

It's the normal terms of a marriage where I live. So yeah, in case of divorce I lose half my house, half my things, and I pay alimony for the child AND the spouse. Unless there's a pre-nup, and even then it might not be validated in court.

I see no reason to marry, except for fiscal deductions, it is an financial decision. Each his own I guess, but it's too serious a decision to take when we are still enthralled by love.

At once?

Duh, of course.