Poll: Dear EA, I hate you and I'm running off with a Techno Vampire.

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crooked_ferret

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Jul 30, 2009
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This is kind of a rant I made for lolz while talking to a friend about EA. I understand not all the information provided is completely accurate so you don't have to pick it apart. Though I do realize that on some level the only reason you are here is because the term techno vampire sounded cool.

I hate EA, I've made that pretty clear over time to anyone that's bothered to ask. There exist a problem therein that I still love many of the smaller studios the entity we call EA has actually come to represent though, thus I am to an extent forced to deal with EA if I want to play the games made by these studios bioware would be a big example there.


At one time, not so long ago, one could get EA games on steam.
Not long before Battlefield 3 went beta however, EA started making ridiculous demands of valve/steam and now we have origin in charge of every aspect of the game. I don't really have a serious problem with origin. It does work even if I find the themes, scaling, message system... let's just stick with 'steam is better'.

No the problem is I have 100's of friends on steam playing dozens of games I can jump in with at any time. This list has been built up over many years. I'm sure many live users feel the same way as that system has been around for a bit now too. What I'm driving at is now I have origin, and 3 friends. ...that are never online. This has destroyed battlefield 3 for the average/casual player, (and whatever I am... 'moderately serious gamer' I guess) as the com system only functions between origin friends. Forcing me to set up teamspeak for each server, and having another background app running in addition to the 4 other game related tray icons I'm forced to use these days. Instead of having squad coms as battlefield 2 did. This new system is horrible, and compounds my problem greatly. I can't talk to people in game, that's kind of a corner stone of many of the really great fps multi-players. It's what set counterstrike apart from so many other games for so many years. Hell people still play the original version in pretty fair numbers even though the engine is over a decade old. Why change this?

It took me a while to realize what it really was about steam that bothered EA so much. It's the community, anyone that has played source engine games should know how massive community support in the form of mods and customizations are. Innovation/modification seems to go against EA's business model, they somehow seem to believe that having complete control over everything solves problems. When in fact it kills fan enthusiasm and their sales are going to start declining far more quickly. The only place they have really diverged from this is with their huge 'The Sims' which accepts modding and customizing pretty well. It's also, interestingly enough the only thing they are really producing themselves anymore.

For the longest time I figured the concern was for copy protection, but that's not the case it would seem. I mean sure that's part of it, trying to manage drm that doesn't hurt the legitimate customers as much as the pirates has become somewhat of an art form.

All that really is just rant though, the core of the matter is the loss of my massive collection of friends, that is useless to me now because EA and Valve couldn't play well together. I'm not saying Valve is completely without fault in this however, if I was in their place I wouldn't be willing to make massive sweeping changes to a system I spent years developing and tweaking only so it could be stolen and recycled by all the other major game distributors.

My question to the EA guys would probably have to go something like this.

Dear mommy and daddy, (as I can only assume this is how they see themselves)

why are you making us move again? We just got settled and made tons of friends! You never think about what we want or need anymore. I hate you, I'm running off with some crazy goth chick that thinks she's a 'techno vampire'. She'll probably rip out my heart eventually too, but at least she'll look me in the eyes while she's doing it.

Signed,
the kid.


Have I made a point yet?
Probably not, but who cares, techno vampires are hot.
lolz
C_F
 

bobmus

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May 25, 2010
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Maybe, just maybe, they're just trying to make as much money as possible, and are not an inherently evil parenting figure.
 

Shavon513

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Apr 5, 2010
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*joins the kd;s club*

i hate EA, too. Every company they take over they run into the ground, utterly destroying it. Poor Bioware.... nah, they went into the deal with their eyes wide open. I HATE capitalism.
 

crooked_ferret

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Jul 30, 2009
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TheBobmus said:
Maybe, just maybe, they're just trying to make as much money as possible, and are not an inherently evil parenting figure.
Yes, but eventually you will disorient yourself so badly from your consumer that the plan will backfire.

I mean I actually like BF3 granted it suffers the same hacker problem you get in every other fps game, you can just avoid those servers as always moderated ones are usually clean. That problem that seems to just be inherent to the genre aside it's a good game. I will likely quit before very long though because unlike other games like this I've played recently there is no real connection to your team, sure there is text chat but typing in the middle of a fire fight is not an option.

They intentionally ruined something that already worked (bf2) just to try and promote this brand new delivery system (origin) via the com and friend system. They should have left in game coms out of origin/battlenet , and kept them as part of the game. Instead in an attempt to promote something that didn't need promoting. (meaning if you wanted to play the game you were going to be getting origin regardless) It's like when I'm watching my tv and a commercial comes on, ...for the very service I am using to watch tv at that very moment. Some of these companies are the little old lady running around screaming about how she's lost her glasses (which are still on her face) I personally feel obligated to quietly tell the lady where her glasses are. I've tried quietly telling EA what I disagree with, I've spoken with them in manners ranging from professional to crude over the years. None of it works, so I have no resorted ranting satire.

Sue me.
EA will likely try to.
 

crooked_ferret

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Jul 30, 2009
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It's really just general venting if I had meant to target you personally I would have done so clearly. Sorry if you felt that was the case.
 

crooked_ferret

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Jul 30, 2009
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overpuce said:
I hate to correct you on this but a techno vampire does not have eyes but rather techno-organic sensors where their eyes used to be. The also do not "rip your heart out." They unleash a nano-bot mist that quickly and efficiently "digests" your body and carries it back into their blood stream.

On Topic:
Meh. You and all the other EA gripers could purchase shares of EA stock. I'm not sure how many shares would constitute a majority but they have 331.42M shares outstanding currently at $15.87/share. That would at least give you an actual say on how EA conducts business. Otherwise, and I'm not trying to be an asshat about this, why would they listen to you when they sold 10,000,000 copies of BF3 as of Dec. 31, 2011? They're in the business of churning out money for their investors and themselves and only keeping you as minimally happy as it would take to have you purchase Battle Field 24.
True, they got a purchase out of me for BF3.
There's at least a dozen other games on origin now I will never play though.
Mass effect 3 which I was looking forward to for a long time... I'll never play it now.
Several new MMO's I wanted to try.
I've drawn the line I would rather play poorly coded indie games at this point.

Wish that fixed anything though, the second one of the indie groups makes something really popular they'll just be devoured by EA as well.
 

Spitfire

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Dec 27, 2008
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crooked_ferret said:
My question to the EA guys would probably have to go something like this.

Dear mommy and daddy, (as I can only assume this is how they see themselves)

why are you making us move again? We just got settled and made tons of friends! You never think about what we want or need anymore. I hate you, I'm running off with some crazy goth chick that thinks she's a 'techno vampire'. She'll probably rip out my heart eventually too, but at least she'll look me in the eyes while she's doing it.
And who is the techno vampire in your analogy?
 

crooked_ferret

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Jul 30, 2009
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Looks like it's going to be steam, who I personally think should be suing everyone copying their model. They're too reasonable though, if the shoe was on the other foot and GFWL or Origin came first they'd be suing valve.

Fortunately I was able to get alice madness returns without having to do so through origin.
Surprisingly good game. That will likely be the last one though as EA is refusing to work with steam anymore. They're actually trying to get me to download alice through the origin client now. Which kind of bugs me as well.
I bought it on steam I want it on steam and I already have it on steam.
Probably some sort of severance agreement that steam has to pass along whoever buys the ea games now.
 

splayfoot1

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Mar 9, 2012
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crooked_ferret said:
It took me a while to realize what it really was about steam that bothered EA so much. It's the community, anyone that has played source engine games should know how massive community support in the form of mods and customizations are. Innovation/modification seems to go against EA's business model, they somehow seem to believe that having complete control over everything solves problems.
this is one of my biggest problems with EA.

back in the day, half life was kept fresh and interesting by mods, it was hugely popular, lasted years, and cost gamers very little if anything to try the latest incarnation.

EA however needs total control so that they can charge full price for a slightly updated version of the same game year after year. they couldn't do that if we were still having fun with the first game.
 

VulpesAqua

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Sep 5, 2011
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TheBobmus said:
Maybe, just maybe, they're just trying to make as much money as possible, and are not an inherently evil parenting figure.
Like a business? Oh Bobmus you so crazy!
 

crooked_ferret

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Jul 30, 2009
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Matthew94 said:
I hate EA but I'm just boycotting them, it's the most effective way for me to send the a message.

I won't even buy the new Sim City game.
Another sale they lost here as well.
My general point is while bf3 has sold heavily I think it's doing more to hurt future sales of their other games than anything.

Speaking of origin though I keep getting spammed messages like this


The only problem is I see this message nearly everyday, and have for about a month now...

I think it keeps sending me the message because it's convinced I want to download alice madness returns through Origin.

On the other hand it's nice to know people still believe in bacon flavored ice cream.