Well, the person said that my blog was gibberish and boring. He wished that he could have something hit him on the head to forget and that if he wished he could kills the whimsy that is me. Let's just say I had fun with it. I replied,
"Dear Sir,
From what I gathered from your long message is that you are angry and upset, and quite possibly have a learning disability. I just want to say that my heart sincerely goes out to you. First and for most, I want to tell you that your message has no structure and if you want to get your point across you might want to address that issue. The more structured the message, the clearer the message will be.
If you don't mind, I would like to help you be a better troll. What I would do if I were you would start off by making an outline. It doesn't have to be too detailed but start off with your main topic. I gather you want to kill me. What a wonderful and board topic!
Now, the first paragraph should be why. Once you have listed the why, list supporting arguments. Remember to refrain from using fallacies and begging the question. You want the supporting argument as tight as your mom's asshole.
Next what I would list is the how. Now, I from what I read, the how is very impersonal. I simply do not feel that you truly want to kill me. How you can make it more personal is to use my personal fears. As a very neurotic person, I have quite a few. Why don't you try playing off my fear of drowning or being burned alive? I am also afraid of chainsaws, trains, clowns, eighteen wheelers, mannequins, elevators, chimpanzees, and mimes.
I hope that this email will help you out and you will write me back soon. I look forward to it.
Sincerely, Sunny."
