Poll: Escapist, help me make a choice!

[Naal]

To start out with, I do not know my birth father. Long story short, when I was three months old he tried to kill my mom, and since then I have never seen him. My mother married my step-dad when I was three, although I regard him as my father. He has been an amazing example in what a father should be and what a real man is. Growing up, my mom and dad never hid who my real father was and what kind of past she had with him, so I've always sort of been curious. A couple years ago I started googling his name once every couple months, only to come up with nothing.

Tonight, out of boredom, I tried googling him again. This time a flood of responses came in: Obituaries.

At first I was a little stunned. It couldn't have been him, I hadn't even gotten up the courage to reach out! It was, though, and I could hardly believe it. Not only did I find out what town he lived in, but I found out that I have three other siblings. I always knew I had an older half-brother and half-sister, but I didn't know their names, and it seems like I have a younger half-brother now, along with various nieces and nephews.

I shared this information with my mom, and she could hardly believe it was him. Even my sister and I were listed as two of his daughters! (Our names now are different from what they were on the birth certificate) I ended up finding my oldest half-sister on Facebook, and she looks exactly like my sister. I told my mom I would not contact anyone out of respect for her, but I'm so curious.

If I ever did reach out to my half-sister, I would make a separate Facebook and not give away my last name, and I live across the country from where I was born. She knows that I exist, but wouldn't know who I am. My mom said that it's my choice, if I ever do decide to do something, but she highly recommended that I not do it.

So, Escapist, help me make a decision. Should I make a separate Facebook and contact her, or should I just strangle my curiosity and not do anything about it? Maybe there is another suggestion?

By the way, I'm 24 years old.

 

[Xixikal]

It's your life.

I have no right to tell you what to do or anything like that, but if you feel you need to get in contact with your family, then it's your choice.

 

[Slash Dementia]

I don't think it's fair to your half-sister, but that's just me. You're going into her life knowing who she is, though leaving her oblivious to who you really are. I do think that you have every right to talk to her since she's your half-sister, but I guess you just have to weigh out what would happen if you do--how your mom would really feel, how you'd feel, and how your half-sister would if ever she were to find out who you are. Think about it carefully; however, I think that you've probably made your mind up.