There are a lot of people on the Escapist who have been bullied, I know that from another forum. But I'm curious to know how many have been the bully. I was a bully and I regret it every day of my life, mostly because I have been bullied too.
Poll: Have you ever bullied someone?
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It depends entirely on your definition of bullying.
There are a multitude of ways we human beings bully each other, some of them are much less noticeable than others (Especially we adults in the workplace, who may not even notice we do it.)
There are a multitude of ways we human beings bully each other, some of them are much less noticeable than others (Especially we adults in the workplace, who may not even notice we do it.)
Yep. I was bullied relentlessly as a kid, and looked for avenues to bully others in return. Certainly not proud of it, but I find a lot of people who endure bullying have to fight against becoming bullies themselves. You're overcompensating for your loss of power.
Frankly, I think most people who bully are completely unaware of it, and would never dream to think of themselves as bullies. We have a lot of intellectual bullies on these forums who likely think of themselves as anti-bullying champions.
Frankly, I think most people who bully are completely unaware of it, and would never dream to think of themselves as bullies. We have a lot of intellectual bullies on these forums who likely think of themselves as anti-bullying champions.
Most likely, but I wasn't consciencely aware of it.
That's why bullying is an unsolvable problem, because a lot of people do it without even being aware of it.
That's why bullying is an unsolvable problem, because a lot of people do it without even being aware of it.
I don't know if I'd throw my hands in the air and call it an unsolvable problem.Casual Shinji said:
You're correct, though, in that it highlights another, equally serious problem in our culture, which is a staggering lack of self-awareness and personal responsibility. We've got a couple of generations of preening knuckleheads on our hands who are literally impervious to criticism and would never dream that they weren't the hero of the story, regardless of how they're behaving.
I don't remember ever intentionally bullying anybody, but I probably did once or twice as a kid.
But I do remember one time in the school toilets (I pretty sure we we're mitching class aswell, and possibly high, though maybe not, it would sort of explain why we thought the joke was funny) we noticed that there was a cubicle that was closed for the whole time we were hanging around there. Me or my friend (I can't remember which one) made a joke along the lines of "that guys been in there for ages, must be having a wank". We had no idea who it was, but one of our other class mates jumped up to see who it was. It was a guy called Andrew and so a rumour went round the school, which I didn't start to spread, that he was wanking in the toilets. I didn't even know people were talking about it either. A few people asked me did I see him wanking in the toilets, and I jokingly said yes a few times or at least didn't deny it, I don't think I really thought people were serious when they asked me. I thought it was kinda obvious he wasn't.
Later that day or maybe the next day, me and my friend were called down to the principals office because Andrew was really fucking bummed about it (I think he might have had some other bad shit on his mind aswell) and the principal and the year head were giving out shit to us. The whole time me and my friend were really confused as all the blame for everything was on us but all we did was say the initial remark. We appologised to the guy but I didn't know him at all, I didn't even know his name til we went to the office.
But I do remember one time in the school toilets (I pretty sure we we're mitching class aswell, and possibly high, though maybe not, it would sort of explain why we thought the joke was funny) we noticed that there was a cubicle that was closed for the whole time we were hanging around there. Me or my friend (I can't remember which one) made a joke along the lines of "that guys been in there for ages, must be having a wank". We had no idea who it was, but one of our other class mates jumped up to see who it was. It was a guy called Andrew and so a rumour went round the school, which I didn't start to spread, that he was wanking in the toilets. I didn't even know people were talking about it either. A few people asked me did I see him wanking in the toilets, and I jokingly said yes a few times or at least didn't deny it, I don't think I really thought people were serious when they asked me. I thought it was kinda obvious he wasn't.
Later that day or maybe the next day, me and my friend were called down to the principals office because Andrew was really fucking bummed about it (I think he might have had some other bad shit on his mind aswell) and the principal and the year head were giving out shit to us. The whole time me and my friend were really confused as all the blame for everything was on us but all we did was say the initial remark. We appologised to the guy but I didn't know him at all, I didn't even know his name til we went to the office.
The thing is, though, that a stand-up comedian making fat jokes could already be considered bullying; You're judging someone as a lesser person because of how the look or act.BloatedGuppy said:
Ofcourse it's just a joke, but it's still being judgemental, which lies at the heart of bullying. And seeing as every human is judgemental by default, you can't cancel out bullying completely without destroying everyone's free will.
And most bullying is a product of group behaviour, where no one person was actively attacking the bullied, but the group on a whole still conveyed this sensation unawarely. Just as, say, a person gets crushed or suffocated at an overly crowded concert. Nobody meant for that person to die, it just happens when that many people gather together and unawarely get swept up in something greater than they are.
Yes and no. When I thought someone was stupid I would tell them. I wouldn't go out of my way to pick on any particular kid but it's possible that it could have been construed as bullying from their point of view. So no, I wasn't 100% nice to everyone throughout my school years and I more often than not put up with people being less than nice to me. It was never anything particularly mean although I suppose if you had low self esteem like me even small remarks could be upsetting. So arguably I have bullied people, but then most people have probably made hurtful remarks to others, whether intentional or not. By any proper standards I wouldn't consider myself, nor do I think I would be considered, a bully. This came out all muddled but it's 5am here so cut me some slack.
I don't know, really.
I haven't intentionally bullied anyone, of that much I'm sure. I did have a friend with whom my relationship might've been a little abusive though. It's hard to explain.
I did receive some bullying, myself, growing up. But not in the "beating me up after school/stealing my lunch" sense. It was mostly of the psychological kind, although it wasn't unheard of for me to be subjected to some violence as well. But more often that not, the violence was used as a psychological weapon more than to cause bodily harm.
I haven't intentionally bullied anyone, of that much I'm sure. I did have a friend with whom my relationship might've been a little abusive though. It's hard to explain.
I did receive some bullying, myself, growing up. But not in the "beating me up after school/stealing my lunch" sense. It was mostly of the psychological kind, although it wasn't unheard of for me to be subjected to some violence as well. But more often that not, the violence was used as a psychological weapon more than to cause bodily harm.
Yeah, looking back I have. At the time I thought it was all a joke though, or told myself I did.
Quite possible I still am, and I've just gotten better at self deception.
Quite possible I still am, and I've just gotten better at self deception.
No that's just standing up for yourself. I tried standing up for myself a few time but that just got me more hateHardkorSB said:
Yes I have, a lot back in school. I used to pick on the weaker kids to feel good about myself and feel like I am important. A real arsehole. But it certainly isn't something I'm proud of now and if I could go back in time and change what I did, I would. But realistically I can't, so life goes on.
Never ever bullied someone. Hurt them, but usually not on purpose. I was bullied to the point of attempting suicide by age 11. I just could never do such a thing to another person.
I only bring myself to bully people I love. Pranking friends and annoying co-workers is a proper and effective method of showing affection. It can even be considered a privilege to people who tolerate and praise bullying in an almost ritualistic manner. Such people are friends of mine. I can bring myself to justify anything for good humour, likewise it is something I expect of those closest to me. May it be finding a handicapped sticker on your locker after you get out of the hospital, or finding out that I took your picture for you while you were home sick on picture day. If you are my friend, I will push you to your breaking point, and then some. It's because I love you, damn it.
As a child I was bullied terribly, due to my mother having a major nervous breakdown in a very public way. Even when we moved from that area, I was quiet, nerdy and withdrawn and my parents poor which meant it continued.
However, I also quite firmly believe that I could not take a joke. I had no tolerance for normal behaviour, piss taking or horsing around even as a child. I was also paranoid, and saw even close friends as "setting me up for a fall" and rejected just about any interest from a female as the same, I was being set up, teen horror movie style, for a terrible prank.
Later in life, once I entered the workforce, I was accused of bullying a few times because I had very little tolerance for those who didn't want to work hard, who slacked off and didn't turn up for their shifts. I don't believe in political language or making nice, I believe in honesty and punishments for those who do not behave as is expected off them.
I have to admit, however, that this lack of tolerance for bad behavior led me to taking things to far on occasions, especially early on, when I didn't consider anything that happened out of work to be an excuse for "slacking off".
Fortunately, I've gotten a clue since I've gotten older. I think I've learned from my experiences. I can take a joke, and can spot when someone is like me in that they take offence at trivial things, but I also have more tolerance for the feelings of others even in the workplace and can understand that home life does affect your performance at work.
However, I also quite firmly believe that I could not take a joke. I had no tolerance for normal behaviour, piss taking or horsing around even as a child. I was also paranoid, and saw even close friends as "setting me up for a fall" and rejected just about any interest from a female as the same, I was being set up, teen horror movie style, for a terrible prank.
Later in life, once I entered the workforce, I was accused of bullying a few times because I had very little tolerance for those who didn't want to work hard, who slacked off and didn't turn up for their shifts. I don't believe in political language or making nice, I believe in honesty and punishments for those who do not behave as is expected off them.
I have to admit, however, that this lack of tolerance for bad behavior led me to taking things to far on occasions, especially early on, when I didn't consider anything that happened out of work to be an excuse for "slacking off".
Fortunately, I've gotten a clue since I've gotten older. I think I've learned from my experiences. I can take a joke, and can spot when someone is like me in that they take offence at trivial things, but I also have more tolerance for the feelings of others even in the workplace and can understand that home life does affect your performance at work.
No, but someone thought it was funny to pester me about my incoherent sentence that I posted here. I scared him away with my logic, which made him go off the topic he was using to pester me with. I say, your propernessery is meaningless when you don't know when to apply it correctly!
I have very striking red hair, so of course i was.
Don't really think i did it back though, I was pretty scrawny so i was sensible enough not to start a fight with a 6ft yob XD. Probably why im alive today.
But hey-ho it's still common today, but it fails to bother me anymore
Don't really think i did it back though, I was pretty scrawny so i was sensible enough not to start a fight with a 6ft yob XD. Probably why im alive today.
But hey-ho it's still common today, but it fails to bother me anymore