Poll: How do you pay your friends?

[bojackx]

Okay, so whilst I'm not currently experiencing any such scenario, I'm not sure how I would proceed if it actually happened.

So say you had a friend who is a builder, and you want a fireplace installing or something. Providing it takes a day at the most, how do you go about paying them? Do you pay him more because he's a buddy? Pay less or nothing because he's just doing you a favour? Or meet him halfway and just pay the normal amount? What if he was a waiter serving you instead of a builder? Would you tip him more or less?

As I said I'm not sure how I'd go about this, but I imagine the more likely option is for him to do it cheap or free, and then I'll owe him in any way I can.

 

[Esotera]

Just ask him what the job will cost and don't ask if you can get it cheaper because you're his friend...if he wants to bill you less he will tell you himself. If he doesn't want payment in cash then just owe him a favour...

captcha: none of the above

 

[EeveeElectro]

Him???

Why are you assuming they'll be a man just because they're a builder??!?!?!

SEXIST!!11one!!

On a serious note, I'd pay they whatever they charge. If they want to charge less cos I'm a friend, then I won't argue.
They're doing me a job and they've got to earn money at the end of the day. I can't expect mates rates, but if I can find someone cheaper who is just as good, I'll go to them.

I'll be making them endless cups of tea and insist they stay for their dinner as well if they're a friend though.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

The Solomonic thing to do would be to pay full price unless stated otherwise by your friend.

 

[Heronblade]

I try to avoid exchanging cash among friends where such is possible. In the case of a big project like our hypothetical fireplace I would prefer to pay for the materials and then do something similarly worthwhile for him/her in exchange.

If there isn't anything I can do in return in the near future, yes, I will pay full value.

 

[DementedSheep]

A family friend did do some building work on the house. My parents paid him his normal fee and that's how I would prefer to do it.
I'm not good at accepting gifts and favors. I hate feeling like I owe someone. If they offer to do it cheaper then I probably would accept but I would at the least insist on bringing them food and drinks while their doing it and would probably be annoying with trying to find a favor I could do to make it up to them because subtly is not my strong point. Expecting things cheaper or free from friends seems exploitative to me.

 

[shootthebandit]

your builder freind should charge you mates rates[footnote]mates rates [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mates%20Rates][/footnote]. When paying someone mates rates you must pay in cash (where possible) so they dont have to report the it to the tax man

 

[ClockworkPenguin]

your builder freind should charge you mates rates[footnote]mates rates [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mates%20Rates][/footnote]. When paying someone mates rates you must pay in cash (where possible) so they dont have to report the it to the tax man

Really not a good plan in the long-term, especially if they are self employed and need to be fit in order to work. If they ever have to make a loss of earnings claim to insurance, they can only get it based off what goes through their books. Trying to get more is going to make the taxman want to take a closer look. It's a really easy way to get yourself royally screwed.

 

[Scarim Coral]

If it was my way I would pay my mate a tad more just because we're mate but I do have a mutural understanding that we don't pay/ owned each other more, it mainly cos we don't want to get the special tratment but treated as equals. I can't remember the sayings but it was something like "there is no expenses in friendship" or something like that.

 

[shootthebandit]

your builder freind should charge you mates rates[footnote]mates rates [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mates%20Rates][/footnote]. When paying someone mates rates you must pay in cash (where possible) so they dont have to report the it to the tax man

Really not a good plan in the long-term, especially if they are self employed and need to be fit in order to work. If they ever have to make a loss of earnings claim to insurance, they can only get it based off what goes through their books. Trying to get more is going to make the taxman want to take a closer look. It's a really easy way to get yourself royally screwed.

if its a one-off you pay them in cash, if its on going id recommend drawing up a proper contract which would benefit both parties and still charge mates rates

 

[Little Woodsman]

Well when I was still doing massage professionally, (with my own office) my standard rates were $55 for a one-hour session & $75 for a ninety minute session. My friends and family rate was $22 for an hour, and $33 for ninety minutes. I based the friends and family rates on what the breakdown of my office rent cost per session was, so I was basically asking friends and family to cover the cost of the office time, & labor & other costs were covered by me.
However that is for a type of service where tipping is common/standard, & on the occasions where someone would say "I feel like I should pay more" or "That seems awfully low" I would point out that they could tip as much or as little as they felt appropriate.
I also kept in mind that friends and family were likely to recommend me to their friends/family/co-workers, and that there is value in that.

Currently if I do massage for a friend I tell them that the fee is anything from the words "Thank you" up to about $22, and favors/food/services are perfectly acceptable exchange as well, and if they feel that they should pay me more they should just get me something really nice for Christmas.

 

[Nouw]

I'd just pay him the normal charge and if he has any objections he'll speak his mind and then we can sort things out from there.

 

[Hero of Lime]

I would tell him to treat me like any other customer. Little good comes with doing anything with money with friends.

 

[Lawnmooer]

It'd depend on what they ask for.

If they ask for less than the standard rate because of our friendship, then so be it, but if they say nothing then it'll be the standard rate.

No matter what was paid, for something like building work (Or if getting less than the standard rate from a restaurant worker) I'd owe them a favour at some point in the future, be it something like giving them a lift, spotting some change when out and about or whatever.

 

[loc978]

My friends and family tend to pay each other in favors, or with what we're skilled at. I'm generally the one being asked to do the work (be it on cars, computers, houses, yards/landscaping, et cetera), and I don't mind being paid in beer, food, parties, car or computer parts, hunting trips... generally the person I'm helping doesn't just sit back and watch, either. Even if they're just fetching tools, they're directly involved. Working for a friend is different from being hired professionally, unless that friend is an asshole.

As for the waiter scenario... that's different, they're actually at their place of employment. Standard tip.

 

[Flutterguy]

Depends on the friend and the favor. If I know he is having hard times and I am not I will get him a bit more, maybe not directly in cash but a carton of cigarettes, RP for league whatever floats their boat.

 

[IndomitableSam]

Sort of more. My best friend is a hairdresser, so when I get my hair done, she gives us the family discount... but I give her a large tip. She's a single mother, though, so I do tend to go easy on her.

In your case, though, best to put it on them. Ask them how muchit costs... and they'll tell you, based on what they want to charge you. So go with that. Tips are based on whatever the situation calls for.

 

[KOMega]

I pay my friend the standard unless stated otherwise.

Wouldn't it be the builder who decides what is to be paid anyways?

I state what I want, a fireplace.
The builder states what he wants, a specific sum of money.

We negotiate until an agreement is made and the trade is completed.

Pretty standard.

As for extras and tips? Well I'm not much of a tipper myself, but if he is my friend and I know he needs the money then I might chip in a little extra.

If he doesn't exactly need the money, then I'll keep the extra. I need money too.

The tip would basically not be given because he is a builder, but because he is a friend, even if they didn't build a fireplace for me and had just asked. Gotta care for my friends too.

 

[Multi-Hobbyist]

Well you see, it's all different based on your example OP. If it's a mate building my fireplace, (or doing any sort of manual labor on my behalf) of course he's going to get paid. Unless of course he says he doesn't want anything for doing it.
Now if it's a waiter, said waiter can sod off even if he was a friend. I'd maybe tip a dollar for a buddy. But the waiter's wages are none of my concern. They didn't cook my food, they simply took my order, took it to the chefs, and brought it back when it was finished. I can do that myself if they'd let me.
If anything the chefs deserve my tip, not the waiter. I'm sure they're getting tipped by others anyway. Why is it my problem if that person chose to work in such an awful industry? If other customers are making their life hell, then do something about it. Be the spark that ignites the change where not every company panders and kisses the customer's arse so much that it gets to the point where it's at today. The customer is NOT always right ffs.