Poll: I'm torn... What should I do?

[Mr. Twitch]

A while back my friend started taking a liking to this one girl in particular and ever since has bended over backwards to spend time with her and try to make things work. Meaning he started bringing her to as many parties as possible. She doesn't have any feelings for him at all... he's just a close friend to her and she doesn't want to change that. Now here's the fun part, a couple of weeks back she ended up coming with one of her other friends to a party where my other friend wasn't able to make it, and we ended up talking the whole night and we had a blast together. The next party I went to my friend was there too but she pretty much ditched him so we could hang out together just the wo of us... I'm pretty sure she's interested in me at the moment and I feel the same way about her.

What should I do?

 

[JanatUrlich]

Get all over it like a fly on shit

 

[ItsAChiaotzu]

It depends on how much you care about her compared to how much you care about your friend.

For example how long have you been friends with both of them, how good a friend is the guy, how good a friend is the girl?

In all honesty I wouldn't, merely because it sounds like it would really hurt your friend, but obviously it's your choice.

 

[kalakashi]

Talk to your friend about what's going on. Communication is the most damned important thing there is, and it always goes amiss. Tell him what's happened, what you want to happen, and ask him what he thinks about it. Talk to her about it as well, tell her about your friendship and maybe ask if you can keep it mostly to yourselves when he's around. So long as you have clear communication with everyone involved, there is nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Remember also, that as long as nothing is kept hidden from anyone, you will/have do(ne) nothing wrong.

EDIT: Last year I dated a girl for a very short while, and a month later, my very very good friend asked if it'd be okay if he asked her out because he liked her, and even though I didn't like, I really fucking appreciate him asking. They've been together for a year and a half now, and me and him are fantastically good friends. Remember that there is a high possibility that everything will work out A-okay.

COMMUNICATE

 

[Marter]

I would say that your friendship is more important than a possible romantic interest, so don't do it. If you decide to do it, talk it over with him first, and make sure you won't hurt your friendship.

 

[-Drifter-]

I don't care one way or another. It's your life, so maybe you should try sorting this out for yourself, or better yet, discuss it with someone you actually know, rather than ask a bunch of stranger's on the internet. I honestly will never understand why people make these kind of threads.

 

[Hazy]

Welcome to the Escapist.

Talk to your friend, just the two of you. Explain the issue to him, where you all stand, and come to a resolution.

He might be hurt by it - that's to be expected, but it will keep him from making an ass out of himself, and he'll probably be grateful that you told him.

 

[Sodoff]

dude

Bro's before Hoes.

 

[MajorKris]

I would say go for it, but that it mostly because I love a good drama.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

That's a tricky situation you've got there. One thing to keep in mind is that if she hasn't told your friend she is not interested, could she be doing the same to you? Your friend is probably thinking "oh she is really into me", so just be careful about that. If you are sure she really likes you, I say go for it.

While your friend may be a bit hurt at first, if he is a true friend he'll understand things sometimes just work out that way. But as I said: just make sure she isn't feigning interest in you like she is your friend. The fact she hasn't said to your friend "Look, I'm not really interested in you that way. Can we just be friends? etc...." might mean she is a bit manipulative.

 

[Summerstorm]

Talk to your friend about what's going on.

Exactly this. Just tell your friend, and he will say: "DAMMITDAMMITDAMMIT... OK... take her... i am going to slit my wrists or something", and all will be well... umm... mostly.

 

[DefunctTheory]

Strip your mind of lust and compare your friendship with your desire for her. Than make a decision.

Keep in mind though, if you pick her, you are a shitty friend. Congratulations.

 

[Mr. Twitch]

It depends on how much you care about her compared to how much you care about your friend.

For example how long have you been friends with both of them, how good a friend is the guy, how good a friend is the girl?

In all honesty I wouldn't, merely because it sounds like it would really hurt your friend, but obviously it's your choice.

Well that's the thing... i'm not sure it would because he hits on other girls whenever he can...

That's a tricky situation you've got there. One thing to keep in mind is that if she hasn't told your friend she is not interested, could she be doing the same to you? Your friend is probably thinking "oh she is really into me", so just be careful about that. If you are sure she really likes you, I say go for it.

While your friend may be a bit hurt at first, if he is a true friend he'll understand things sometimes just work out that way. But as I said: just make sure she isn't feigning interest in you like she is your friend. The fact she hasn't said to your friend "Look, I'm not really interested in you that way. Can we just be friends? etc...." might mean she is a bit manipulative.

She has though... she spazes every time someone assumes they're a couple...

 

[Nikajo]

hmm tricky...I would suggest that you wait and if it looks like it's heading towards something then it would be a good idea to talk to you're friend about it first. That's assuming you value his friendship and you feel she's worth it. Hopefully you can talk him round but that depends on how reasonable he is suppose...

 

[manythings]

well if you can honestly apply the term "ditched him" to what happened at that party I think you might have a clear indication of how she treats people if they don't have something she wants.

 

[ItsAChiaotzu]

It depends on how much you care about her compared to how much you care about your friend.

For example how long have you been friends with both of them, how good a friend is the guy, how good a friend is the girl?

In all honesty I wouldn't, merely because it sounds like it would really hurt your friend, but obviously it's your choice.

Well that's the thing... i'm not sure it would because he hits on other girls whenever he can...

This is why when you make this kind of thread you need to put in more than one paragraphs worth of information if you expect anyone to have a reasonable answer to your problem.

From the information we have right now, it sounds like your friend is a typical guy and may just be a little bit "guy angry" at you if you get with her, so you should probably do it if you feel that way about her.

As long as you're not projecting negative characteristics onto your friend in an effort to make yourself feel less guilty about wanting to get with a girl he's interested in...

 

[Gxas]

Get all over it like a fly on shit

This all over!!!!

But make sure he understands first. And, tbh, if he gives you the big "fuck you" speech because he still thinks he has a chance:

Get all over it like a fly on shit

 

[Swarley]

Welcome to the site

On topic


Seriously, it's not worth ending a friendship over some girl.

edit: Actually by ditching your friend to go hang out with her you've already broken that rule.