Poll: Is it really better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?

[Mr Balls]

Everyone knows the saying but is it really true? Have you ever loved and lost? Would you rather have it so that it never happened? I'll be honest. I have loved and lost and loved again. Sometimes I felt that it wasn't worth it. Other times I had never been happier but I say that it is better to have loved because being in love with someone is the best feeling on earth IMO at least. What are your thoughts on the matter?

 

[Deleted]

That's what people who have lost say to feel better around people who have not loved at all and are still happy!

 

[Legion]

Well my experience of love is probably what has turned me into the bitter, misanthropic bastard that I am today so I reckon it is a lie.

On a slightly more seriousness note I think it depends on the individual and how good they are at coping. Since losing contact with the last person I felt love for I have not had any real interest in anyone, in any shape or form (except lust I guess, but that's hard to ignore for anyone with a healthy libido).

I definitely reckon that if my experience of love was a more positive one then I'd probably think the phrase is true, but in my experience I think it has pushed me away from people rather than the other way around.

Like I said, it depends on the individuals experiences.

 

[silver wolf009]

That is a bit of a pity statment to make people who have "lost" feel better. To be honest it would be eaiser to aviod the entire ordeal than to end up at the end in a metaphorical train wreck.

 

[no oneder]

I was once loved and lost. It was good, and I do think it is better than to have never loved at all. But the price at which I lost him was high.

 

[Continuity]

No no, I don't agree with the cynics above, it is better to have loved, its a rich life experience that I for one would not trade for pretty much any other experience i've had.

 

[Frequen-Z]

This is something I've never been too sure on.

While the experience of having a serious loving relationship was very nice and something I hope to have again one day, when it ended it left me pretty negative and hateful to this day. I have my ex entirely to blame for that, which in my book nullifies any positive times I had with her, since it was obviously all for nought.

I'm sort of in two minds, I mean, on one hand, for me, having loved and lost has meant real betrayal, which we all know really effects us long term (I don't know if I'm going to be this negative husk forever right now), but having never loved at all would mean I would be a little less wiser for not having been through the experiences I have, but I would also near undoubtedly be a happier person, because, not to sound emo or bitter or anything, but when me and my ex broke up, it took a lot of happy traits away from me.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want them back from her, I'd like nothing more than for her to become a 'missing person', but I'm sure there's been a noticeable change for those close to me.

This is probably the most thought out post I've ever done here. Good job OP.

 

[LemonMelon]

I think it's better to try. Even if it fails, you know what you like/don't like.

 

[Matt_LRR]

The pain of loss goes away - the good memories and growth as a person stay with you.

-m

 

[Weaver]

The pain of loss goes away - the good memories and growth as a person stay with you.

-m

I replaced my pain with bitter contempt.

 

[Brandon237]

Better to have loved, life is short, be happy as much as possible, and there is no better path to happiness. So love for the sake of having lived at least part of life happy.

 

[s0p0g]

of course it is! it's an experience, and those make you grow

 

[Gigaguy64]

I believe so.


I personally would rather Die know what true love felt like, but lost it, than never knowing what it felt like at all.

 

[child of lileth]

I say it's better. At least then you know what it's like, compared to not knowing at all.

 

[Gralian]

To all those people saying "at least you know what it's like", you do know the saying 'ignorance is bliss' right?

As for me... Yes, it is better to have loved and lost, but i feel as though it comes at a dreadfully high price. It all depends on how you felt about the one you loved, though. If it was one of those soulmate 'know what the other's thinking by looking into their eyes' kind of love, the fairytale kind, then the pain of losing that person stays with you for life. It doesn't go away. I know because i've loved and lost a girl that i thought was my soulmate, and now i'm quite hollowed out when it comes to love. I can still love another, but it will never be on the same level as it was with her. Equally, i got into a conversation about something similar with a friend of mine who has frequent sex with lots of different girls. I tried to talk to him about love, and he didn't even have a definition for what he regards as love because he's just never experienced it. And while he might catch lots of tail, i don't envy him for it, simply because of that one reason. But then i'm an old romantic sort who will always value love over lust and over most things in life.