I'm looking into a career in journalism, specifically automotive journalism. So I thought I'd post up some reviews on cars I've driven and see if anyone else thinks this is the way I should go. Thanks for any opinions and thoughts on the matter. Keep in mind I have no formal training or experience.
The first review I wrote.
__________________________________________________
One Last Joyride: 1999 Chevy Monte Carlo
So, your just out of high school, have some money from a part time job you worked and your dad will not borrow his station wagon to you anymore. Now you?re in the market for a car and my first recommendation to you would to get yourself a Volkswagen or even a Toyota, but if your heart compels you, you can settle for the following and be all right.
For twenty-nine hundred dollars you can have this: a 1999 Chevrolet Monte Carlo LS. Used, obviously. As a new driver would you honestly trust yourself with a brand new piece of car? Unless it is a Geo Metro, which by all means, put up a tree or wrap it around a telephone pole.
The Monte Carlo is by no means the best option but by the same token it is not the worst. If you?re the type of soulless chap who just needs something to get him to work or school and back, then this is your vehicle. For those looking for a little more for their money look elsewhere.
We?ll start on the outside, which isn?t much. There?s absolutely nothing on this vehicle that says ?look at me? or ?I?m important.? Not even so much as ?at least I tried.? Its not ugly, like that new Cobalt Chevy is just chucking out now, but it?s not pretty either. The eye just flows over the shapes and contours of the body and onto the BMW that?s probably passing you up. And that useless little hint at a spoiler absolutely ruins it and makes it look half-assed.
The interior at least is black, so if you?re driving along at night no one can see how the middle console is laid out. There?s only one cup holder. One! It?s my belief that no car should have cup holders, but if you?re only going to put in one, in a five seater, there has to be something clinically wrong with you. The actual leather seats are a nice touch I must say, though the back support is non-existent. There is a rev counter for no apparent reason and an on-off switch for the headlights for no reason as well, they are always on. At least unlike the BMW M5 the indicators self-cancel, and they must have let the kindergartener?s measure out the interior, as nothing seems to want to mesh. And like the outside and every single American car I?ve ever driven, it?s half-assed. Don?t even start me on the sound system?
The power plant is a measly little 160 brake horsepower V-6, which gets it to a top speed of seven. The Z34 option gives you 40 more horses but that is still hardly enough to redeem this cars faults. There also is a manufacturing defect in certain models that will leak rust into the coolant, and subsequently clog the radiator. The modem for transferring this power to the road is through a 4 speed automatic gearbox. Even in the Z34, there is no manual to be had. At one hundred thousand miles, I won?t give the transmission much longer. From there the power goes to the two front wheels, yes, the front ones. Both models have front wheel drive, which is reserved for the weak at heart. It doesn?t even make a passable noise. The throttle response is sluggish at best and if you want to get any sort of forward motion you must bury your foot deep into the carpet. The brakes on the other hand are probably the best part of the car. They are quite responsive and are able to get the car to a halt quickly. I would recommend the most gripping tires you can for this car as any sort of moisture on the roads will result in useless wheel spin off the line.
I?ll put it this way: In summary, if you want a good reliable car that will last you forever, you will get a Nissan, or Toyota, or Volkswagen, or Mazda? If you want a rubbish car built by a bunch of lazy designers who put no love into their work and chuck out useless machines and then demand a ?bail-out? plan when they make no profit from their disgusting, awful, horrid, vomit-inducing excuses for automobiles, then you will buy this car.
________________________________
but honestly, i am nitpicking. awfully
________________________________
As much as I hate myself for nitpicking in that review of my own car, I went about it as professionally as possible. I detached any emotion there was stored for it and set about judging it like a senior class project (if i had gone my senior year of high school). I didn't put it up against a bimmer or jag, just took it at face value.
Truth is, I love that little car. With its lazy throttle and its gearbox that seems to hate to change smoothly. Its because, no matter if its useless or just awful in every way possible it still is there for you. It still starts up in the morning when you want to go somewhere. It, for the next month or so, still is my car. And if you treat it well, it will be there for you. It hasn't ever put me in a ditch or wrapped itself round a telephone pole. The most annoying this is that deer are magnetically drawn to it whenever i stop it on Y40. They are obsessed with denting the side panels in. You want to be nice to it, give it the high octane petrol, the synthetic oil, because you think if you are nice to it, it will be nice to you.
That Monte Carlo, or as its been re designated, Monte Carl, may just have a soul after all...
But, sadly, that soul is going to purgatory. It wasn't good enough for the pearly gates, though its sins hardly mandate it for eternity in a lake of fire.
Therefore, in the next week or so, it will be helping me in a little adventure. To find the best driving road in Iowa and also the best one in Wisconsin. It would only be doing it a service. One last final fling. One last joyride, before it is sold into service as a meager transportation device. It is a sports car. Its not meant to just lolly about in davenport shuffling its owners to the stores. It was built to take corners at high speeds, peel out at stop lights, go really fast. It should have one last drive...
______________________________________________________________________
The second review I have written is on my Uncles 2008 BMW 335xi, enjoy
______________________________________________________________________
How very very annoying: 2008 BMW 335xi
The 2008 BMW 335xi is simply amazing car. Pompous, annoying, but still a great drive. The image you present isn't particularly grand, you know what they say about BMW drivers; BUT HOLD ON!! THAT'S CHANGED!! (see at the end of this review). But all that aside, it?s a great car. We?ll start with the bad things.
The exterior is beautiful. I do love the lines, though it doesn't necessarily hide itself. But that's fine. Its a aesthetically pretty car, even if your not driving it. It's bad too look at. And that grill... Lovely to look at, and even more so to drive.
The interior as well is absolutely gorgeous. The way it?s laid out is great and there's so much room in the front seats, the back seats are lacking at best but you would be ashamed to be back there anyways. All the leather and wood really does this car well. Very cool, very sublime. An absolute joy to be in. Until you start it up.
The iDrive system; it's awful. It's unnecessary and complicated, you need an IT qualification to operate it. For instance: you can choose how long you want the headlights to say on once you've killed the engine. I wish you can order it without it. It should be called the iDivert-attention and then iPut-the-car-in-a-ditch. It gets in the way and can ruin your day. Took quite a while to figure out how to turn the sat-nav lady off. But like an annoying school child, if you ignore it, it will go away. Then you find something amazing.
This car is an absolute joy to drive. The four-wheel drive system gives you a solid, planted feel, allowing you to take corners at a higher speed. And as for speed, there is a lot. The turbocharged 300 brake horsepower engine is absolutely amazing, the acceleration is astonishing. Because it puts that ample power down on all four wheels, there is just so much grip! It would take a constitutional amendment to get the back end to let go. It?s a great winter car as well for the same reason. You can have a manual but the one I drove had BMW's Steptronic Transmission, which, though you should go for the real manual, was not bad at all. Smooth, quick changes and surprisingly smooth at slow speeds. To drive this car is an absolute delight to drive. Very, very sporting as well.
There is a bit to say about BMW drivers carrying an air of pompous arrogance; and cutting you off on the motorway, not signaling and other annoying things that they do, that's for another time.
All told, a great car indeed. Underneath the over the top looks and the horrid iDrive system, this is a great car. This shouldn't steer you away from it, but if you want a properly fast BMW go for the M series. That's what I'd have.
What a car....
There is an iDrive update: They've added some menu buttons on the 2009 to make the iDrive easier to navigate, which actually, is quite nice now.
The first review I wrote.
__________________________________________________
One Last Joyride: 1999 Chevy Monte Carlo
So, your just out of high school, have some money from a part time job you worked and your dad will not borrow his station wagon to you anymore. Now you?re in the market for a car and my first recommendation to you would to get yourself a Volkswagen or even a Toyota, but if your heart compels you, you can settle for the following and be all right.
For twenty-nine hundred dollars you can have this: a 1999 Chevrolet Monte Carlo LS. Used, obviously. As a new driver would you honestly trust yourself with a brand new piece of car? Unless it is a Geo Metro, which by all means, put up a tree or wrap it around a telephone pole.
The Monte Carlo is by no means the best option but by the same token it is not the worst. If you?re the type of soulless chap who just needs something to get him to work or school and back, then this is your vehicle. For those looking for a little more for their money look elsewhere.
We?ll start on the outside, which isn?t much. There?s absolutely nothing on this vehicle that says ?look at me? or ?I?m important.? Not even so much as ?at least I tried.? Its not ugly, like that new Cobalt Chevy is just chucking out now, but it?s not pretty either. The eye just flows over the shapes and contours of the body and onto the BMW that?s probably passing you up. And that useless little hint at a spoiler absolutely ruins it and makes it look half-assed.
The interior at least is black, so if you?re driving along at night no one can see how the middle console is laid out. There?s only one cup holder. One! It?s my belief that no car should have cup holders, but if you?re only going to put in one, in a five seater, there has to be something clinically wrong with you. The actual leather seats are a nice touch I must say, though the back support is non-existent. There is a rev counter for no apparent reason and an on-off switch for the headlights for no reason as well, they are always on. At least unlike the BMW M5 the indicators self-cancel, and they must have let the kindergartener?s measure out the interior, as nothing seems to want to mesh. And like the outside and every single American car I?ve ever driven, it?s half-assed. Don?t even start me on the sound system?
The power plant is a measly little 160 brake horsepower V-6, which gets it to a top speed of seven. The Z34 option gives you 40 more horses but that is still hardly enough to redeem this cars faults. There also is a manufacturing defect in certain models that will leak rust into the coolant, and subsequently clog the radiator. The modem for transferring this power to the road is through a 4 speed automatic gearbox. Even in the Z34, there is no manual to be had. At one hundred thousand miles, I won?t give the transmission much longer. From there the power goes to the two front wheels, yes, the front ones. Both models have front wheel drive, which is reserved for the weak at heart. It doesn?t even make a passable noise. The throttle response is sluggish at best and if you want to get any sort of forward motion you must bury your foot deep into the carpet. The brakes on the other hand are probably the best part of the car. They are quite responsive and are able to get the car to a halt quickly. I would recommend the most gripping tires you can for this car as any sort of moisture on the roads will result in useless wheel spin off the line.
I?ll put it this way: In summary, if you want a good reliable car that will last you forever, you will get a Nissan, or Toyota, or Volkswagen, or Mazda? If you want a rubbish car built by a bunch of lazy designers who put no love into their work and chuck out useless machines and then demand a ?bail-out? plan when they make no profit from their disgusting, awful, horrid, vomit-inducing excuses for automobiles, then you will buy this car.
________________________________
but honestly, i am nitpicking. awfully
________________________________
As much as I hate myself for nitpicking in that review of my own car, I went about it as professionally as possible. I detached any emotion there was stored for it and set about judging it like a senior class project (if i had gone my senior year of high school). I didn't put it up against a bimmer or jag, just took it at face value.
Truth is, I love that little car. With its lazy throttle and its gearbox that seems to hate to change smoothly. Its because, no matter if its useless or just awful in every way possible it still is there for you. It still starts up in the morning when you want to go somewhere. It, for the next month or so, still is my car. And if you treat it well, it will be there for you. It hasn't ever put me in a ditch or wrapped itself round a telephone pole. The most annoying this is that deer are magnetically drawn to it whenever i stop it on Y40. They are obsessed with denting the side panels in. You want to be nice to it, give it the high octane petrol, the synthetic oil, because you think if you are nice to it, it will be nice to you.
That Monte Carlo, or as its been re designated, Monte Carl, may just have a soul after all...
But, sadly, that soul is going to purgatory. It wasn't good enough for the pearly gates, though its sins hardly mandate it for eternity in a lake of fire.
Therefore, in the next week or so, it will be helping me in a little adventure. To find the best driving road in Iowa and also the best one in Wisconsin. It would only be doing it a service. One last final fling. One last joyride, before it is sold into service as a meager transportation device. It is a sports car. Its not meant to just lolly about in davenport shuffling its owners to the stores. It was built to take corners at high speeds, peel out at stop lights, go really fast. It should have one last drive...
______________________________________________________________________
The second review I have written is on my Uncles 2008 BMW 335xi, enjoy
______________________________________________________________________
How very very annoying: 2008 BMW 335xi
The 2008 BMW 335xi is simply amazing car. Pompous, annoying, but still a great drive. The image you present isn't particularly grand, you know what they say about BMW drivers; BUT HOLD ON!! THAT'S CHANGED!! (see at the end of this review). But all that aside, it?s a great car. We?ll start with the bad things.
The exterior is beautiful. I do love the lines, though it doesn't necessarily hide itself. But that's fine. Its a aesthetically pretty car, even if your not driving it. It's bad too look at. And that grill... Lovely to look at, and even more so to drive.
The interior as well is absolutely gorgeous. The way it?s laid out is great and there's so much room in the front seats, the back seats are lacking at best but you would be ashamed to be back there anyways. All the leather and wood really does this car well. Very cool, very sublime. An absolute joy to be in. Until you start it up.
The iDrive system; it's awful. It's unnecessary and complicated, you need an IT qualification to operate it. For instance: you can choose how long you want the headlights to say on once you've killed the engine. I wish you can order it without it. It should be called the iDivert-attention and then iPut-the-car-in-a-ditch. It gets in the way and can ruin your day. Took quite a while to figure out how to turn the sat-nav lady off. But like an annoying school child, if you ignore it, it will go away. Then you find something amazing.
This car is an absolute joy to drive. The four-wheel drive system gives you a solid, planted feel, allowing you to take corners at a higher speed. And as for speed, there is a lot. The turbocharged 300 brake horsepower engine is absolutely amazing, the acceleration is astonishing. Because it puts that ample power down on all four wheels, there is just so much grip! It would take a constitutional amendment to get the back end to let go. It?s a great winter car as well for the same reason. You can have a manual but the one I drove had BMW's Steptronic Transmission, which, though you should go for the real manual, was not bad at all. Smooth, quick changes and surprisingly smooth at slow speeds. To drive this car is an absolute delight to drive. Very, very sporting as well.
There is a bit to say about BMW drivers carrying an air of pompous arrogance; and cutting you off on the motorway, not signaling and other annoying things that they do, that's for another time.
All told, a great car indeed. Underneath the over the top looks and the horrid iDrive system, this is a great car. This shouldn't steer you away from it, but if you want a properly fast BMW go for the M series. That's what I'd have.
What a car....
There is an iDrive update: They've added some menu buttons on the 2009 to make the iDrive easier to navigate, which actually, is quite nice now.
