Poll: Live-Action Transformers Movies. What did you think?

[WarDialler]

So I just finished watching Dark Side of the Moon.
I havent felt so apathetic about a movie since JJ Abrams godawful Star Trek abortion.

So Escapists,
What did you think?
I loved the Transformers as a kid born in the 80s, but I see what they're doing with the Franchise these days (Beast Wars, super deformed cutesy anime, Micheal Bay) and the Small child inside me throws down the Optimus Prime action figure in disgust and goes off to find some lego to play with.

 

[DannyJBeckett]

I thought the first one was alright, the second one was an absolute abortion of a film, and I haven't seen the third one, so I can't comment.

 

[Klumpfot]

I never had any of the Transformers as a kid, and I didn't watch any of the cartoons. Because of this, I didn't feel betrayed by the Bay films (of which I've only seen the first two). My opinion? To borrow an expression from mr. dr. prof. Yahtzee, esq.: They gargle gonads.

Atrocious.

 

[vrbtny]

Watching a Transformers movie is like bashing your head against a wall..... except with explosions, Hot Chicks and Giant Robot Fights.... now some of that sounds good.

 

[Dags90]

Biased poll options are biased...

Also, the new Star Trek wasn't a bad movie. It wasn't a "Star Trek movie" at all, but it was a good sci-fi action movie. And it's got two sequels on the way.

 

[Actual]

I thought the movies were awful and I didn't watch transformers as a kid. I'm not sure how to vote. Hmm Megan Fox is a bit of a mutant, I'll just vote that.

 

[Radeonx]

People expected it to be some deep and engrossing story, which it clearly isn't, and then harp on it. As a dumb action movie, it is very entertaining, and a dumb action movie with a shitty plot and tons of explosions can be a good thing to watch once in a while.

 

[SpaceBat]

Didn't watch the cartoons, so Bay's apparent murder of the franchise didn't affect me and I still disliked the movies. They're not one of the worst movies of all time or anything (as horrifying as that may sound, there are far worse out there), but they're not worth watching.

Bad acting, bad action scenes, bad story, worse characters, ugly, boring as shit overall.
I watched all three of them anyway, because of friends liking the movies and me not wanting to be an ass, but I can't say I enjoyed them or didn't have trouble staying awake.

I know what some people will say. "It's not meant to be deep. It's supposed to be a fun, awesome action flick". And that's the fucking problem. It's not an awesome action flick. For action to be fun to watch, I have to care about what's happening on screen. Otherwise it's just a random compilation of boring explosions and shit flying across the screen. Things that I've already seen in hundreds of other movies.

Seriously though, while all three of them suck ridiculously hard, the second one is the real abomination. That one was just...

 

[Custard_Angel]

I hated the Transformers movies, but I had no real affection for transformers in general so I can't say that my inner child is dying.

The movies were filled with uninteresting characters doing uninteresting things in uninteresting ways.

The only good moment in the first 2 movies (I didn't see the third) was in the first movie where Optimus Prime is having this big drawn out fight with... some guy... on the highway and ends the fight by sticking a blade through its head. I only liked the fight because the end came out of nowhere and there were no humans present.

Also, Megan Fox is sexy, but she has minimal acting talent, no charm, no personality and no discernible reason to be in movies. Her true calling was porn, but she made it to Hollywood instead. I call this misplaced talent.

Kind of like Walter White (from Breaking Bad) before he got involved in drugs.

 

[Leemaster777]

My thoughts on each one:

The first one was okay. Not great, but I was able to watch it without bleeding out my eyes. I could, however, understand why someone would hate it.

The second one was GOD AWFUL. However, for me, it was kinda SOOO bad that I enjoyed it. I like watching it with other people, and spending the whole movie making fun of it. In that sense, I like it better than the first one (which I probably wouldn't watch again).

The third one... well, technically it isn't as BAD as the second, but at the same time, it's just way less fun to watch. Without the whole "so bad it's good" quality that the second one had, this one was just mostly boring and irritating to watch. And I'm completely dumbfounded that they actually found someone WORSE than Megan Fox to replace her. Mind = Blown at that one.

Also, there was one thing in the third one that was SO incredibly stupid, I feel the need to comment on it (in spoiler tags, in case you haven't seen it and actually care about the story):

Spoiler

When I watched it, I couldn't help but notice that Sentinel Prime's betrayal seemed to come completely out of nowhere. But after thinking about it, I soon realized that they DID foreshadow it... in the stupidest way they possibly could have.

Early on in the movie, Wheelie and his sidekick (whose name I forget and don't care about), were watching an episode of Star Trek, when Wheelie says "Oh, this is the one where Spock turns evil, right?". Sentinel Prime and Spock are both played by Leonard Nimoy. That is, by far, the DUMBEST way to foreshadow a plot point in anything I have ever seen.

So yeah, long story short, first one was okay but not great, second was so bad it's good, and third was just plain boring.

 

[Dark Prophet]

1st one was ok, a bit more robots would have been nice but it was a starting movie so I'll let it slide, Megan Fox is always nice to look at if she is not trying to act (the movie where she was suposed to be some angel or something) and is just pair of boobs and one fine ass, the guy who plays Sam can't act either.
2nd one was horrific, more robots and I mean a lot more robots Megan Fox was again nice to look at don't remember anyting about the Sam charachter though.
3rd one as horrific as the 2nd one despite people saying it was better and no Megan Fox, so yeah total waste of time.

 

[BoredDragon]

They need to cut out Sam Witwicky from the series. The human that should be included is that white soldier guy from the first one because it makes more sense for him to be around the transformers since he is in the military and has actually fought the Decepticons before. At least, that was what i was thinking while watching the 3rd one with cousin who dragged me there.

I actually think the series could be turned around with a team of competent editors. They would have to make the cast of Autobots and Decepticons be only a few and characterize them, get rid of the characters there for sole purpose of eye-candy, do away with the unnecessary swearing since there are freaking kids watching, and keep the tone of the movie serious and cut out most of the comedy bits and characters (especially the racist stereotypes). It's not like kids wouldn't still enjoy the action and cool robots.

Also, Optimus was an asshole at the end of the last movie.

Spoiler: spoiler alert if you care

He is about to get killed by who ever that old autobot guy was and Megatron comes in and saves him. After Optimus finishes off the old guy Megatron says some thing like "Let's call a truce" or something. Then Optimus kills him saying some bullshit about your evil or something right after he just FUCKING SAVED HIM!!!!! I know he has been the main villain of the series, but the old dude overthrew his command of the Decepticons so Megatron wasn't the big baddy of the movie anymore. wtf kind of writing is this!?!

 

[Ldude893]

Pure-grade explosion porn at best. I watch it for the action, not the story.
Sometimes, we need a helping of mindless, plotless destruction and fighting.

 

[Johnny Impact]

I watched the cartoons religiously. I was just the right age for G1. I would have owned every single toy if I had had the money. Consumer whore, that would have been me. To this day, when someone asks who my hero is, Optimus Prime is the first name that comes to mind.

All three live-action movies offended me. Clearly no one who knew anything or gave the faintest ghost of a shit about Transformers was allowed to come within 100 miles of the production. After the first I was able to walk away with only a feeling of deep disappointment. The second one was like watching somebody go back in time and spray diarrhea on my childhood for two hours straight. It was as if they actively sought to destroy their own franchise. Third one, likewise.

Having said all that, I can't hate Bay, or his cinematic abortions. After the rage died down a bit, I realized Bay didn't make Transformers movies. He made big-budget Michael Bay exlodeathons featuring lots of Army wank, because that's all Michael Bay does. This time around, the movies happened to have giant robots that happened to turn into vehicles. None of the characters I know and love were harmed in the making.

Forget about Bay and his movies. He doesn't deserve our hatred because he doesn't deserve to be given that much of our mental real estate. To hate him is to acknowledge him. The most crushing thing we can do to an immature, self-obsessed douche like him is ignore him completely.

 

[spartan231490]

Where is the "it's a good movie" option. because it is.

 

[Sir Thomas Sean Connery]

I was never into Transformers much and although I actually quite liked the first movie, I pretty much hated 2 and 3.

And by the way, Abram's Star Trek was awesome.

 

[Tiger Sora]

I watched the 1986 transformer's movie like 5 years before the 1st of bay's films. It's just awful by comparison. For what it is. When you fight a war, people die left and right like in the old movie, robots dying all the time.

The worst thing about the new movies is in the 3rd, which i haven't seen, but the line is "Thats my car". I thought it was such an Americanized thing to say, I own this. Bumblbee is a sentient robot, you do not own him.

And way to much humans, this is Transformers, not Humans and Transformers or whatever. I know theres always been 1 human, but I'm talking about all the marine guys.

Lastly he ruined Devastator in the 2nd film. He's not a dog-robot-thing. He's a 100 foot tall, anthromorphic robotic engine of destruction. Now a dog-thing. Ruined!!!

 

[Furioso]

I liked the star trek movie..... but I hated the Transformers movie

 

[luckshotpro]

First one: decent
Second one: asswipe
Third one experienced without a brain: AWESOME!
Third one experienced with a brain: not as bad as number 2, but still pretty fucking awful