Poll: Mysterious Artifact

[aebonhawk]

You are walking along one day and notice a strange object a few feet away. As you walk towards it you see it is about the size of a soccer ball, made of an unknown substance and has a control interface on it resembling buttons. Scribbled on its surface is strange writing you don't recognize. Taped to it is a note in English with a single word written on it.
Beware.
What do you do?
I'm curious to here other options you may consider.

 

[jpoon]

Ooh ooh, press buttons! My drunk answer.

 

[T3h Camp3r T3rr0r1st]

take a dump on it (for all you know it could be a stool sampler

 

[-=Spy=-]

REEEEETUUUURN THEEEE SLAAAAAAAAB!

 

[Ibanez887]

Sell it to the government who pays me the most money, except the USA, we cant let the debt go up even higher

 

[Generator]

Give it to the authorities. I wouldn't be able to handle that kind of stress!

 

[zombflux]

Well, pressing shit seems kinda dangerous, and I'm really not all that curious; I trust the authorities about as far as I can throw the White House, so I'd just sell that shit.

 

[Jedamethis]

I probably wouldn't notice it.

 

[Nechti_Visara]

I'm a pack rat, so I'll probably keep it and then promptly forget that I have it.

Seriously though, that's a pretty big object. It might even be a hassle to carry around -- I may just leave it in the road.

But yeah. I'd probably keep it, and then three months later I'd be looking for my DS or a book or something and it would fall off the shelf and a button would get pressed on complete accident.

 

[ethaninja]

I wouldn't sell it to someone, because if its a potentially dangerous object, they could activate it. Instead, I would give it to a scientist/archaeologist, and help him research it.

 

[Grayjack]

I would give it to the government. They would probably know what to do with it more than I would.

 

[delet]

"OOOOH! WHAT DOES THIS BUTTON DOOOO?!"
-Blows up lab-

I'll make some midgets very angry..

 

[VonGentlemen]

I would probably do something along the lines of:

Cut it into pieces before bringing it back into my giant space colony located on an planet named after an equivocal word of Earth followed by a few obnoxious Roman Numerals.
Once there, I would remark on how dead things seem before going underground and subsequently being attacked by several people.

After putting them down with a few humane rivets to the skull, I would exchange a few words with my wife before going off to restore life support systems for a reason that really isn't adequately explored before being humanely put down by a soulless cop who is under the impression that riveting the skulls of several homicidal space miners with energy pickaxes qualifies as MURDER.

TL;DR - Dead Space: Extraction.

 

[Caligulove]

this all depends on my sobriety.

And I would be lucky enough to run into this when I was hammered. So I'm pretty sure I would go and fuck with it (quite possibly literally given enough liquor..) and then either it would do nothing or I would bear witness to whatever the artifact had in store for me.

Personally, I think it would eat me.

 

[Raven's Nest]

I'd try and track down the person who wrote the note... They must know something... If I get bored, I'll start button bashing Tekken 3 with Hwoarang style!

 

[Nova5]

Totally keep it, build a container for it, and begin conducting research on how to utilize it for evil. Or if it turns out to be useless, play football with my roomies.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Wait? So someone figured out what it does is dangerous and dosen't explain it? Well that is just rude.

OT: Push the button. Whoever wrote the note and left it there is still alive and he would have had to test it.

 

[Akai Shizuku]

As selfish as this may sound, I'd keep it to myself. I don't want the government getting their paws on something I found. Screw government.

Rather, I'd have my friends help me to figure out what the hell it is.

 

[Trivun]

Give it to Jack. And if you understand my reference, then you are a true son of England (or perhaps Wales... cough*hint*cough)