I need your advice, guidance, analogies and direction my fellow Escapists.
Now I'm one of those romantic guys that pride themselves on been a gentleman. Those kinds of morals and values were taught to me as a child and a form a natural and comfortable behavior for me. In short, I focus on respecting my partner, making her feel needed, understood, aiding her when in need and loving her unconditionally.
I've had a stable, loving, caring and well-balanced relationship going on for just about 11 months now. We don't fight, whenever there's a disagreement we quickly tend to it and compromise with ease. All in all, we're known for our stability and more notably, our consistency within the relationship.
Here's the situation; Upon entering the relationship, she warned me that she has what she calls "affection-phases". Understandable, I thought, everybody goes through emotional up's and down's regardless of the relationship factor.
Oh boy, did I not expect it to this degree. She has completely withdrawn all forms of affection, physical (and I mean the small meaningful gestures like a kiss on the cheek, a random hug, cuddle or the holding of hands) and most importantly, emotional affection.
What I mean by emotional affection are factors like moral support, sensitivity, listening intuitively and generally been acknowledged in a way that says you're been thought of.
This happened a month ago, no external cause, no signs leading up to it. It was fast and random.
Leaving me, naturally confused and wondering whether I have indirectly done something to upset her.
After a careful conversation; she has no idea why she does not want any affection, she is still attracted to me, she can't explain why this happens (It's happened to her previous boyfriends) and does not believe that there is anything wrong with her behavior.
Unfortunately, I'm one of those idiots that need consistency within a relationship because I provide consistency from my end. So the relationship, romantically, has become very one-sided.
Again, she doesn't acknowledge that her withdrawal of affection is in anyway wrong. Any attempt to label it as such, results in becoming very defensive and angry.
So, in conclusion, she has agreed to "try" be affectionate against her need to step away now. (This was two weeks ago, no improvement whatsoever).
I told her I won't force her to make that decision, I could endure it while she carries on her merry way, but she refuses to be even more selfish at my expense.
Escapists, what do I do?
Do I ride out this emotionally-barren phase, without knowing how long it will last and subsequently form resentment while I endure this?
Treat her the way she treats me? (Even though I consider that pointless, it does damage and hardly any good)
Pack my symbolic bags and leave?
(GIANT DISCLAIMER: I'm fully aware of the fact that a gaming sit isn't the best place for relationship advise, but I'm just using this to get an abstract opinions. Or maybe there's something I missed...who knows?
And there are quite a few Escapist Sages willing to lend their wisdom...
Point been: I'm just curious about outside, completely objective opinions)
Now I'm one of those romantic guys that pride themselves on been a gentleman. Those kinds of morals and values were taught to me as a child and a form a natural and comfortable behavior for me. In short, I focus on respecting my partner, making her feel needed, understood, aiding her when in need and loving her unconditionally.
I've had a stable, loving, caring and well-balanced relationship going on for just about 11 months now. We don't fight, whenever there's a disagreement we quickly tend to it and compromise with ease. All in all, we're known for our stability and more notably, our consistency within the relationship.
Here's the situation; Upon entering the relationship, she warned me that she has what she calls "affection-phases". Understandable, I thought, everybody goes through emotional up's and down's regardless of the relationship factor.
Oh boy, did I not expect it to this degree. She has completely withdrawn all forms of affection, physical (and I mean the small meaningful gestures like a kiss on the cheek, a random hug, cuddle or the holding of hands) and most importantly, emotional affection.
What I mean by emotional affection are factors like moral support, sensitivity, listening intuitively and generally been acknowledged in a way that says you're been thought of.
This happened a month ago, no external cause, no signs leading up to it. It was fast and random.
Leaving me, naturally confused and wondering whether I have indirectly done something to upset her.
After a careful conversation; she has no idea why she does not want any affection, she is still attracted to me, she can't explain why this happens (It's happened to her previous boyfriends) and does not believe that there is anything wrong with her behavior.
Unfortunately, I'm one of those idiots that need consistency within a relationship because I provide consistency from my end. So the relationship, romantically, has become very one-sided.
Again, she doesn't acknowledge that her withdrawal of affection is in anyway wrong. Any attempt to label it as such, results in becoming very defensive and angry.
So, in conclusion, she has agreed to "try" be affectionate against her need to step away now. (This was two weeks ago, no improvement whatsoever).
I told her I won't force her to make that decision, I could endure it while she carries on her merry way, but she refuses to be even more selfish at my expense.
Escapists, what do I do?
Do I ride out this emotionally-barren phase, without knowing how long it will last and subsequently form resentment while I endure this?
Treat her the way she treats me? (Even though I consider that pointless, it does damage and hardly any good)
Pack my symbolic bags and leave?
(GIANT DISCLAIMER: I'm fully aware of the fact that a gaming sit isn't the best place for relationship advise, but I'm just using this to get an abstract opinions. Or maybe there's something I missed...who knows?
And there are quite a few Escapist Sages willing to lend their wisdom...
Point been: I'm just curious about outside, completely objective opinions)