Please, if things like this have happened to you, write back and say what they are!
Sometimes, no matter what you do, whether it be the right thing or the wrong thing at the time, you encounter a period of time where it seems like the world is out to fuck you over one bar of sanity at a time. The kind of Night that makes you actually want to start killing things. I just had one of those nights. So, instead of keeping you all stranded in the dark like an obese child at the bottom of a particulaly steep flight of stairs, I will just go ahead and tell you about it.
It begins with me deciding, finally, to go to the Toga Party. I had never been to one before and hey "Theres always a first time for everything right!" So, after getting an unnecessarly long talk from my parents about how "I should control myself, and not to do anything stupid, not join in riot, join terrorist groups, no satanic rituals, Blah Blah BLAH" (I'm 19 by the way, and I still get treated like a 13 year old at times) I finally get away so I can walk down with my friends to the party.
Quite literaly 2 metres in front of the bouncers at the University Bar, I get a phone call. It's my mother, wanting me to move the car from one carpark, to another carpark around 50 metres closer to the uni, as apparently, if you move a car closer to the rowdy drunk people, it some how gets safer. Yeah. That works. SO after a rant with my mother about how the car will be destroyed if I leave it at the original carpark I decide to just do what they say and move it. I talk to the bouncer. "Hey, listen. I'm just going to move my car. You guys will be here in 10 minutes right?" "Yeah, sure mate" the burly one answers. The burly one perhaps isn't a good description of a bouncer, as they all look like sterioid addicted pug dogs, just with less sense. So I run back to the theatre, where my parents give me a ride to the car. Que second "Behave yourself" speech. So, I get to the car, move it to the closer carpark and run back to the U-Bar doors to go into the party.
The bouncers are gone. The doors are locked. In the 6 and a half minutes it took me to move my car, I got locked out of the party. So, I am now standing alone, in a toga, in the court yard.
Fuck.
After around 30 mins of sitting around and calling all the others in the U-Bar to see if they could come down and let me in (Silly to try and call someone with such loud music around, but I was desparate) I get a call from my friend Phil. He didn't get in either and is now around the back and says he has a way of getting in! WIN! So, I walk around the back entrance to the Bar. On the way I meet my friend Dane and his Band People. As a note of clarification, I should probably mention that before this, i was onstage dressed as a robot. I now just have silver eyeshadow on and black eyeliner. Also, silver feet. The band people play in the musical that I am in. Dane and the band comes with me to Phil. Phil says that he will ring the bar manager and he will get us in. Hope in my mind and a spring in my step, we walk up to the bouncers and tell them we are waiting for the bar manager. The bar manager comes out, see's Phil and I and looks like he is going to say "Let them in." He then notices our musical Enterage. "Sorry Phil, if it was just one or two of you, you could come in. But there's too many!" Have to hold back from yelling that in the time it took for him to say that sentence around 20 people had left, so it wasn't going to make much difference if he let 8 in. Bouncers block off the door, and we are left in the cold.
Fuck.
After much deliberating in our little group, someone poses the idea to go to The Ranch, our University's local bar/club. I go with Phil, while the Music Men all go to their own transport to make their own way there. While driving, I call as many people in the U-Bar as I can to get them to come to The Ranch with us. Many Agree. Phil and I arive at The Ranch, and settle in for a drink and to wait for the Music Me to turn up. They never do. 20 minutes later, Phil gets a call. It's Dane. They arn't comming. They all decided that they were much better off at home.
Fuck
Left sitting at The Ranch. But not to worry. In 10 minutes the people from the Toga Party Show up. They thought that there would be alot more people here at The Ranch, and there would have been if the Music Men hadn't left. Then proceed to feel a horrible mixture of Guilt and Jealousy as I listen to the new arivals talk about how much fun the Toga Party was, how it was going well and how they wish they didn't have to leave it.
Fuck.
We leave The Ranch in reasonably good spirits around 1: 50. It has now been 1 hour and 40 minutes since my one standard drink, and I need to drive home, so to work it off faster I walk from The Ranch to my car, acompanied by my friends Abby, Taylor, Shannon and Chris. We walk the girls home, as there have been reports of both gang violence and a rapist on the campus. Plus now there are a whole lot of drunk people spilling out of the Toga party, so hey, Saftey first huh? After dropping the girls off, we begin to walk through campus to my car. On the way, I get poked in the eye by a low hanging spider. It hurts and it freaks the absolute crap out of me as it crawls on my face and in my hair.
Fuck.
I remove the spider and after about 20 mins of walking we arive at my car. Its around 2:20 in the morning by now. Due to the reports of the gang violence and the Angry Rapist, I offer to give Shannon a lift to his car, which is parked in the carpark that I had to move my car from, 50 metres down the road. Chris also gets in with me, as I am giving him a lift home. So the 3 of us drive the 50 metres to Shannons Car. Right beside his car, we recieve an unwanted visitor. Sirens and Flashing lights.
Fuck.
Pulled over by the cops, and it's going to be very close if they breathtest me. A female cop arives at my drivers side window. Looks slightly disgruntled and out to get someone. She found a P-Plate driver, and seems determined to give the arch nemisis of the police hell. "Just pulled you over for a Random Breath Test. Could you please count to 10 in to this." She presents the small black machine to my face and presses a button. This is going to be close. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7..." The machine beeps. She looks at me for a moment and says "Ok, your clean." First win of the night people! Then she pauses and says "Do you know if your license has any restrictions?" "Not as far as i'm aware" I reply. She takes my licence and returns to her van. She stays up there for so long, I begin to think she is playing a game of cards or something. During this time some drunk people come out of the bushes and begin to harrass the police. Yeah. That really helps. After what seems like an eternity, the Policewoman gets back. "Ok, mate. I'm going to have to book you." "What for!" I say. "You have more than one passenger in the car and its after 11 pm."
FUCK
Long story short, I got fined 3 out of my 4 demerit points and over $400 for driving 50 metres so that there was no danger of a friend getting attacked or assaulted. Is there something wrong in that sentence? Thanks to both Shannon and Chris for arguing my case peacfully and rationally to the police. You are great friends for doing that, even if it did nothing to sway the Harpy.
But you know what the funny thing is? If just one of these events didn't happen it wouldn't have ended like this. If I had had more to drink at The Ranch, I wouldn't have driven home, Thus missing the cops. If the Music Men had come, then we probably would have stayed longer at The Ranch, and I would have missed the cops. If there wasn't a rapist, I would have missed the cops. If I had got into the Toga party, I wouldn't have taken so long getting to my car as it is closer, or I would have had more to drink and crashed at uni, and missed the cops. If my parents hadn't been so possessive, and didn't beg me to move the car, I would have had to Walk Shannon to his car, as mine was right near his, and I would have missed the Cops. But, as it stands, they all did happen that way, and now my bank ballance is drained by half for doing the right thing. Funny how that often seems to happen, isn't it?
Sometimes, no matter what you do, whether it be the right thing or the wrong thing at the time, you encounter a period of time where it seems like the world is out to fuck you over one bar of sanity at a time. The kind of Night that makes you actually want to start killing things. I just had one of those nights. So, instead of keeping you all stranded in the dark like an obese child at the bottom of a particulaly steep flight of stairs, I will just go ahead and tell you about it.
It begins with me deciding, finally, to go to the Toga Party. I had never been to one before and hey "Theres always a first time for everything right!" So, after getting an unnecessarly long talk from my parents about how "I should control myself, and not to do anything stupid, not join in riot, join terrorist groups, no satanic rituals, Blah Blah BLAH" (I'm 19 by the way, and I still get treated like a 13 year old at times) I finally get away so I can walk down with my friends to the party.
Quite literaly 2 metres in front of the bouncers at the University Bar, I get a phone call. It's my mother, wanting me to move the car from one carpark, to another carpark around 50 metres closer to the uni, as apparently, if you move a car closer to the rowdy drunk people, it some how gets safer. Yeah. That works. SO after a rant with my mother about how the car will be destroyed if I leave it at the original carpark I decide to just do what they say and move it. I talk to the bouncer. "Hey, listen. I'm just going to move my car. You guys will be here in 10 minutes right?" "Yeah, sure mate" the burly one answers. The burly one perhaps isn't a good description of a bouncer, as they all look like sterioid addicted pug dogs, just with less sense. So I run back to the theatre, where my parents give me a ride to the car. Que second "Behave yourself" speech. So, I get to the car, move it to the closer carpark and run back to the U-Bar doors to go into the party.
The bouncers are gone. The doors are locked. In the 6 and a half minutes it took me to move my car, I got locked out of the party. So, I am now standing alone, in a toga, in the court yard.
Fuck.
After around 30 mins of sitting around and calling all the others in the U-Bar to see if they could come down and let me in (Silly to try and call someone with such loud music around, but I was desparate) I get a call from my friend Phil. He didn't get in either and is now around the back and says he has a way of getting in! WIN! So, I walk around the back entrance to the Bar. On the way I meet my friend Dane and his Band People. As a note of clarification, I should probably mention that before this, i was onstage dressed as a robot. I now just have silver eyeshadow on and black eyeliner. Also, silver feet. The band people play in the musical that I am in. Dane and the band comes with me to Phil. Phil says that he will ring the bar manager and he will get us in. Hope in my mind and a spring in my step, we walk up to the bouncers and tell them we are waiting for the bar manager. The bar manager comes out, see's Phil and I and looks like he is going to say "Let them in." He then notices our musical Enterage. "Sorry Phil, if it was just one or two of you, you could come in. But there's too many!" Have to hold back from yelling that in the time it took for him to say that sentence around 20 people had left, so it wasn't going to make much difference if he let 8 in. Bouncers block off the door, and we are left in the cold.
Fuck.
After much deliberating in our little group, someone poses the idea to go to The Ranch, our University's local bar/club. I go with Phil, while the Music Men all go to their own transport to make their own way there. While driving, I call as many people in the U-Bar as I can to get them to come to The Ranch with us. Many Agree. Phil and I arive at The Ranch, and settle in for a drink and to wait for the Music Me to turn up. They never do. 20 minutes later, Phil gets a call. It's Dane. They arn't comming. They all decided that they were much better off at home.
Fuck
Left sitting at The Ranch. But not to worry. In 10 minutes the people from the Toga Party Show up. They thought that there would be alot more people here at The Ranch, and there would have been if the Music Men hadn't left. Then proceed to feel a horrible mixture of Guilt and Jealousy as I listen to the new arivals talk about how much fun the Toga Party was, how it was going well and how they wish they didn't have to leave it.
Fuck.
We leave The Ranch in reasonably good spirits around 1: 50. It has now been 1 hour and 40 minutes since my one standard drink, and I need to drive home, so to work it off faster I walk from The Ranch to my car, acompanied by my friends Abby, Taylor, Shannon and Chris. We walk the girls home, as there have been reports of both gang violence and a rapist on the campus. Plus now there are a whole lot of drunk people spilling out of the Toga party, so hey, Saftey first huh? After dropping the girls off, we begin to walk through campus to my car. On the way, I get poked in the eye by a low hanging spider. It hurts and it freaks the absolute crap out of me as it crawls on my face and in my hair.
Fuck.
I remove the spider and after about 20 mins of walking we arive at my car. Its around 2:20 in the morning by now. Due to the reports of the gang violence and the Angry Rapist, I offer to give Shannon a lift to his car, which is parked in the carpark that I had to move my car from, 50 metres down the road. Chris also gets in with me, as I am giving him a lift home. So the 3 of us drive the 50 metres to Shannons Car. Right beside his car, we recieve an unwanted visitor. Sirens and Flashing lights.
Fuck.
Pulled over by the cops, and it's going to be very close if they breathtest me. A female cop arives at my drivers side window. Looks slightly disgruntled and out to get someone. She found a P-Plate driver, and seems determined to give the arch nemisis of the police hell. "Just pulled you over for a Random Breath Test. Could you please count to 10 in to this." She presents the small black machine to my face and presses a button. This is going to be close. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7..." The machine beeps. She looks at me for a moment and says "Ok, your clean." First win of the night people! Then she pauses and says "Do you know if your license has any restrictions?" "Not as far as i'm aware" I reply. She takes my licence and returns to her van. She stays up there for so long, I begin to think she is playing a game of cards or something. During this time some drunk people come out of the bushes and begin to harrass the police. Yeah. That really helps. After what seems like an eternity, the Policewoman gets back. "Ok, mate. I'm going to have to book you." "What for!" I say. "You have more than one passenger in the car and its after 11 pm."
FUCK
Long story short, I got fined 3 out of my 4 demerit points and over $400 for driving 50 metres so that there was no danger of a friend getting attacked or assaulted. Is there something wrong in that sentence? Thanks to both Shannon and Chris for arguing my case peacfully and rationally to the police. You are great friends for doing that, even if it did nothing to sway the Harpy.
But you know what the funny thing is? If just one of these events didn't happen it wouldn't have ended like this. If I had had more to drink at The Ranch, I wouldn't have driven home, Thus missing the cops. If the Music Men had come, then we probably would have stayed longer at The Ranch, and I would have missed the cops. If there wasn't a rapist, I would have missed the cops. If I had got into the Toga party, I wouldn't have taken so long getting to my car as it is closer, or I would have had more to drink and crashed at uni, and missed the cops. If my parents hadn't been so possessive, and didn't beg me to move the car, I would have had to Walk Shannon to his car, as mine was right near his, and I would have missed the Cops. But, as it stands, they all did happen that way, and now my bank ballance is drained by half for doing the right thing. Funny how that often seems to happen, isn't it?
