Poll says it really. Actual situation. Wouldn't mind some other opinions before I fly off the handle.
Poll: This is a grown up discussion!
- Thread starter Spaloooooka
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This is not a good idea. If this is actually happening in your life do both of you a favour - talk to her. Don't be accusatory or angry, try to have a meaningful conversation in a safe environment. There could be lots of reasons why she is doing this, if you approach her with all guns blazing that is a recipe for disaster.
EDIT: The above was written assuming you have been intimate already. If you have yet to go that far together, then be patient!
EDIT: The above was written assuming you have been intimate already. If you have yet to go that far together, then be patient!
She might be afraid of the commitment that comes from actual sex(well, at least there used to be commitment) but everyone has urges, and masturbation is harmless(As in no STDs(i hope) and no pregnancy).
Well, I have a similar situation with my girlfriend, except it's the other way around, and there's no purchasing of dildoes on my end. But, I would have to say I would not be offended because I'm not really sexually attracted to my girlfriend, so I can't really get offended if she wanted to buy one. I mean, hey, it's not like I'm jumping at the chance to do it, or her...you know what I mean.
So she's not ready to have sex with you yet. Or you're having some sort of problem, and she doesn't feel like having sex with you right now. But she still wants to masturbate - THAT has nothing to do with you.
Re: the first issue. Talk to her. Calmly! If you haven't had sex yet, just determine if she feels unready. If you have, explain that you feel rejected, and you want to know what's going on between you.
Re: the second. It's her body, and really none of your business unless she wants to include you. Don't even bring it up when you discuss the first thing.
Re: the first issue. Talk to her. Calmly! If you haven't had sex yet, just determine if she feels unready. If you have, explain that you feel rejected, and you want to know what's going on between you.
Re: the second. It's her body, and really none of your business unless she wants to include you. Don't even bring it up when you discuss the first thing.
That's incredibly hypocritical, dude. I'm betting YOU wank. Should a girlfriend of yours break your fingers?IrishAdams said:
It kinda depends on the dildo. If it is a small one, maybe she is kind of afraid of sex hurting or something. If it is the size of a human arm, yeah, I would be a little offended.
OP's a chick, brah.nunqual said:
Considering you're both women, curious if she's ever had sex with another woman? Sometimes people don't know themselves before they get into relationships. So is there a possibility she's getting cold feet because she's not really into women sexually? Really though, talking is the only course of action.
i get the fact that she would want a dildo for when im not around or when she wants to have "girl time" but if she gets one and doesnt want to have sex (given that there is a reasonable amount of time that we have been dating) i would take offense. i feel that she would essentially be replacing an aspect of the relationship she didnt like
im ok with her haveing a didlo as long as we also have sex. i wouldnt buy a fleshlight if i didnt want to have sex with her. sex is an important aspect in a relationship. is is a form of passion, it shows the other person that they find you sexually attractive, and its an easy way to blow off steam and relieve tension while at the same time doing it together. masturbation is understandable but completely phasing out one aspect of the relationship because you found a better alternative is just cruel. the entire point of a relationship is to accept the other person for the gifts and their faults
im ok with her haveing a didlo as long as we also have sex. i wouldnt buy a fleshlight if i didnt want to have sex with her. sex is an important aspect in a relationship. is is a form of passion, it shows the other person that they find you sexually attractive, and its an easy way to blow off steam and relieve tension while at the same time doing it together. masturbation is understandable but completely phasing out one aspect of the relationship because you found a better alternative is just cruel. the entire point of a relationship is to accept the other person for the gifts and their faults
Whoa, I totally did not think to check your gender before replying, entirely my bad...
While I don't think any of my above advice actually changes, it does make the issue potentially look slightly different. I mean, is your issue mainly that she currently seems to prefer masturbation to sex, or is it that she's specifically masturbating with a phallic-shaped object? Or both?
If it's either of the latter two options...well, some women really like vaginal penetration, regardless of sexual orientation. You need to think of sex toys as tools, not competition, 'cuz that's really all they are.
While I don't think any of my above advice actually changes, it does make the issue potentially look slightly different. I mean, is your issue mainly that she currently seems to prefer masturbation to sex, or is it that she's specifically masturbating with a phallic-shaped object? Or both?
If it's either of the latter two options...well, some women really like vaginal penetration, regardless of sexual orientation. You need to think of sex toys as tools, not competition, 'cuz that's really all they are.