Poll: What are the worst lyrics you've ever heard?

[funguy2121]

Notice the poll is a slightly different question. Here are the first three to come to me that actually make me cringe. Hearing it is like hearing someone scrape a metal fork on their teeth. I think that somewhere angels are dying when I hear this.

Puddle of Mud

(where is Silent Bob?)

"A long time ago in a galaxy far awa...sted."
"Back in the day, when we were young / When everything was like a loaded gun..." (thought never completed)

Alan Jackson

(does this image give anyone else the urge to fornicate with their first cousin?)

"Way down yonder on the Chattanouchie, I was willin', but she wasn't ready / So I settled for a burger and a grape snow cone..."

The Distillers

(believe it or not, she's actually pretty hot underneath all that shit)

I actually love this band, and a lot of their lyrics, but sometimes they're just teenage-punkster-who-can't-spell bad

"If prison is a cell, then it's raging in my blood"

Embarrassing. Still love their music, though. Too bad they broke up.

 

[Skuffyshootster]

\
The Distillers

(believe it or not, she's actually pretty hot underneath all that shit)

The tall guy should try washing his hair.

OT: Any song where the lyrics are just repeated over and over again. Womanizer, I got a feeling, etc.

Also, brokeNCYDe

 

[Shoggoth2588]

I don't quite understand ... do you mean the worst sounding lyrics or the worst lyrics in terms of originality/ message behind the lyrics?

Because the most idiotic lyrics I've ever heard has to go to either Who Let the Dogs Out or Holla-Back Gurl. Those songs were about as intelligent as roadkill and half as pleasant. As for the worst sounding: Circle of Dead Children, a Pennsylvanian Death Metal Band, sound terrible. I mean, I know one of the hallmarks of death-metal is roaring or screeching barely distinguishable lyrics but CoDC just sound horrible [in my humble opinion]

And a note on Toby Kieth and American Country Music in general: I have heard a lot over the years and still can't tell the difference between the different performers. Every male sounds the same. Every female sounds the same and, they all conjour the same mental image: Every country male is a twangy voiced stick-man wearing denim with an overlarge adams apple, beer-in-hand sporting a starw-colored mullet. Every female country singer is an overlarge red-head wearing a waitress outfit similar to that of Rosanne's half-wearing a hairnet and, sporting a slowly smoldering cigarette

 

[timmytom1]

The black eyed peas boom boom pow or that tonight gonna be a good night song i`m sorry but that`s just plain shit

 

[rokkolpo]

pe pe pe pe pe pe pe pe pokerface na na na na.
pe pe pe pe you get the picture...

 

[Pielikey]

Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppoker face annoys the hell out of me.

 

[rokkolpo]

The black eyed peas boom boom pow or that tonight gonna be a good night song i`m sorry but that`s just plain shit

i loved many of their songs but when i heard boom boom pow i felt betrayed.

 

[HardRockSamurai]

The worst lyrics ever?

"Number nine. Number nine. Number nine. Number nine. Number nine. etc..."

 

[funguy2121]

The black eyed peas boom boom pow or that tonight gonna be a good night song i`m sorry but that`s just plain shit

i loved many of their songs but when i heard boom boom pow i felt betrayed.

Did they betray your hump your hump your lovely lady lumps? I enjoyed Will Farrell's rendition better than their own. And is it just me, or does Fergie look really hot on rare occasions and look like an old cokewhore the rest of the time?

 

[Frankydee]

can't really pinpoint anything specific.

For me it's any angsty, whiny emo bull or ghetto....anything.

just....just no.

 

[xplosive59]

Water, water everywhere and
all the boards did shrink
Water, water everywhere not a drop to drink."

iron maiden rime of the ancient mariner, they have really great lyrics but these sound so goddamn cheesy

 

[funguy2121]

I don't quite understand ... do you mean the worst sounding lyrics or the worst lyrics in terms of originality/ message behind the lyrics?

Because the most idiotic lyrics I've ever heard has to go to either Who Let the Dogs Out or Holla-Back Gurl. Those songs were about as intelligent as roadkill and half as pleasant. As for the worst sounding: Circle of Dead Children, a Pennsylvanian Death Metal Band, sound terrible. I mean, I know one of the hallmarks of death-metal is roaring or screeching barely distinguishable lyrics but CoDC just sound horrible [in my humble opinion]

And a note on Toby Kieth and American Country Music in general: I have heard a lot over the years and still can't tell the difference between the different performers. Every male sounds the same. Every female sounds the same and, they all conjour the same mental image: Every country male is a twangy voiced stick-man wearing denim with an overlarge adams apple, beer-in-hand sporting a starw-colored mullet. Every female country singer is an overlarge red-head wearing a waitress outfit similar to that of Rosanne's half-wearing a hairnet and, sporting a slowly smoldering cigarette

I believe it was Community where they said that Gwen Stefani looked like a cross between a tranny and an old meth abuser. I knew a "lesbian" who dated men and looked like a 12-year-old boy, whose 2 favorite things in the world were Abba and "Bananas." She got very indignant when I informed her it was the dumbest song of all time.

 

[Garaw]

Stream of consciousness for craptastic lyrics:

Nickelback
Linkin Park
P.O.D.

All with lyrics written by guys with a 200-word vocabulary, so they come up with rhymes like 'this' and 'exists'.

The Flaming Lips (For sheer ridiculousness).

For lyrics sung by people who have no business fronting a band, I'd have to go with Sean Killian of Vio-Lence.

 

[TheAmazingTGIF]

The black eyed peas boom boom pow or that tonight gonna be a good night song i`m sorry but that`s just plain shit

http://www.cracked.com/video_17618_black-eyed-peas-have-officially-written-worst-song-ever.html

That says everything I wanted to say.

 

[funguy2121]

Stream of consciousness for craptastic lyrics:

Nickelback
Linkin Park
P.O.D.

All with lyrics written by guys with a 200-word vocabulary, so they come up with rhymes like 'this' and 'exists'.

The Flaming Lips (For sheer ridiculousness).

For lyrics sung by people who have no business fronting a band, I'd have to go with Sean Killian of Vio-Lence.

"No I don't listen to any of that Staind, POD bullshit, that Creed nonsense. It's just this simplistic 10th grade suburban white girl lyrics that should not be coming out of 40-year-old men. I would rather hear the death rattle of my only child then listen to that shit for 5 minutes. What do they do, just sit inside a junior high locker room waiting for the inspiration to hit? 'I will take you higher, yes, that's it!'" --David Cross

 

[theSovietConnection]

Brokencyde. Anything by Brokencyde.

[/thread]

 

[Jharry5]

Water, water everywhere and
all the boards did shrink
Water, water everywhere not a drop to drink."

iron maiden rime of the ancient mariner, they have really great lyrics but these sound so goddamn cheesy

That's taken from a poem, The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge (which is what Maiden based the song on). So they didn't actually write those lyrics. Their lyrics are, on the whole, usually pretty good in my opinion.

OT: for me, the worst lyrics are from Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas. 'I'm so 2000 and eight/ you're so 2000 and late'.
Really?... That doesn't make any sense at all...

Anything by Lady Gaga deserves a mention as well.

 

[Garaw]

"No I don't listen to any of that Staind, POD bullshit, that Creed nonsense. It's just this simplistic 10th grade suburban white girl lyrics that should not be coming out of 40-year-old men. I would rather hear the death rattle of my only child then listen to that shit for 5 minutes. What do they do, just sit inside a junior high locker room waiting for the inspiration to hit? 'I will take you higher, yes, that's it!'" --David Cross

That is a beautiful quote, and I'd like it on my headstone, please.

Yeah, the most annoying thing about Linkin Park is the fact that they're 40-year-old men cashing in on teen angst. This sums it up nicely.

 

[SnipErlite]

Water, water everywhere and
all the boards did shrink
Water, water everywhere not a drop to drink."

iron maiden rime of the ancient mariner, they have really great lyrics but these sound so goddamn cheesy

Yeah but being a quote from Coleridge they could hardly change that

OT: Probably P-p-p-p-p-p-p-ppppokerface

=]

 

[nyoe]

\
The Distillers

(believe it or not, she's actually pretty hot underneath all that shit)

The tall guy should try washing his hair.

OT: Any song where the lyrics are just repeated over and over again. Womanizer, I got a feeling, etc.

Also, brokeNCYDe

I find her retardedly attractive in that picture and in her early days with the charged hair and whatnot but I'm different from most people.