Because equal opportunity [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.961577-Poll-Whos-the-best-Witcher-3-waifu]!
A brooding man of action and few words, this luscious-haired hunk is a truly loyal companion of low-key expression, dry wit and passionate sincerity. And a total freak in the sack [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6wAvf8TTb4&t=35s]
For those with a penchant for the stern, authoritative types, Roche the Broche is the bomb. He's unyieldingly loyal and faithful, always has a plan, he'll never ask you to do something he wouldn't, and with friends like his, who knows what things he could show you.
For fans of less serious men, there's the silver-tongued playboy troubadour Dandelion. He's like the Justin Timberlake of the Witcher world, so it doesn't take much explaining why he's so revered by women everywhere he sets foot.
Moving into the bad boy territory of our contestants, we have the rugged and oh-so-manly Olgierd. Don't let those scars fool you, here is a cultured, wealthy and passionate man from a highly esteemed family. And look at those eyes! If you manage to capture his heart, he'll stay with you forever. And we mean forever.
This older gentleman is no slouch despite his unassuming demeanor. Here is a learned, wise and widely traveled herbalist with knowledge and capabilities for just about anything you could ask for. All wrapped up in kindness, good manners, patience and good will.
If you're looking for a mysterious sage and scholarly type, you can't go wrong with Avallach. Though you may feel you two might as well be from different planets, we'll assure you, Avallach's full of surprises. This lean, smart hunk will always have you guessing what wonders he's up to, and life with him feels like living plot twists all day long.
What this rough, tough fellow may lack in stature or manners, he makes up in guts and sheer will. Don't judge a book by its cover, this rugged pint will always stick up for those by his side, and always be ready to help.
And here we have the true cream of the crop, the mysterious and exotic Uma. He might not look like much... or act well...
or even speak properly... but trust us, this kind half-pint will never stop you from having fun or get in the way of your friendships. And you'll never guess what crazy hijinks he'll get into next!
My choice is the only right and true one: Vernon Roche. Ever since I fell in love with him in Witcher 2, he's been my #1 husbando pick in anything. Oh Roche, let's commit more regicide together! I don't care if we have to live in a cave, as long as we live a life of endless plotting, backstabbing and slaughtering people together! Sure, Ves with her neckline and bum make my dingle dangle go BOJOJOINGGGG but it's you I want to spend eternity with!Take me in your strong arms and make love to me under the moonlight while whispering plots against the Nilfgaardians and murder in my ear!
Of course this list suffered some omissions due to the poll entry limit, so to mention a few:
- Lambert. He's the snarky and cynical prick you still somehow like.
- Vesemir and Crach an Craite, for those craving for a GDILF.
- Hjalmar an Craite, perhaps rivaled only by Olgierd in terms of sheer raw manliness. Bonus points for his mighty beard.
- Gaunter O'Dimm, for the crowd who are inexplicably drawn to people that are guaranteed to fuck up other's lives. But who wouldn't at least try someone who can literally fulfill your every wish?
- Detlaff, for fans of men of PASSION!!!!
- Eredin, for... those that... like racism, slavery and genocide?
Votes, y'all!
[sup]Goddamn, I am missing a career of writing dating show contestant pitches. It's not too late to change careers yet...[/sup]
A brooding man of action and few words, this luscious-haired hunk is a truly loyal companion of low-key expression, dry wit and passionate sincerity. And a total freak in the sack [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6wAvf8TTb4&t=35s]
For those with a penchant for the stern, authoritative types, Roche the Broche is the bomb. He's unyieldingly loyal and faithful, always has a plan, he'll never ask you to do something he wouldn't, and with friends like his, who knows what things he could show you.
For fans of less serious men, there's the silver-tongued playboy troubadour Dandelion. He's like the Justin Timberlake of the Witcher world, so it doesn't take much explaining why he's so revered by women everywhere he sets foot.
Moving into the bad boy territory of our contestants, we have the rugged and oh-so-manly Olgierd. Don't let those scars fool you, here is a cultured, wealthy and passionate man from a highly esteemed family. And look at those eyes! If you manage to capture his heart, he'll stay with you forever. And we mean forever.
This older gentleman is no slouch despite his unassuming demeanor. Here is a learned, wise and widely traveled herbalist with knowledge and capabilities for just about anything you could ask for. All wrapped up in kindness, good manners, patience and good will.
If you're looking for a mysterious sage and scholarly type, you can't go wrong with Avallach. Though you may feel you two might as well be from different planets, we'll assure you, Avallach's full of surprises. This lean, smart hunk will always have you guessing what wonders he's up to, and life with him feels like living plot twists all day long.
What this rough, tough fellow may lack in stature or manners, he makes up in guts and sheer will. Don't judge a book by its cover, this rugged pint will always stick up for those by his side, and always be ready to help.
And here we have the true cream of the crop, the mysterious and exotic Uma. He might not look like much... or act well...
or even speak properly... but trust us, this kind half-pint will never stop you from having fun or get in the way of your friendships. And you'll never guess what crazy hijinks he'll get into next!
My choice is the only right and true one: Vernon Roche. Ever since I fell in love with him in Witcher 2, he's been my #1 husbando pick in anything. Oh Roche, let's commit more regicide together! I don't care if we have to live in a cave, as long as we live a life of endless plotting, backstabbing and slaughtering people together! Sure, Ves with her neckline and bum make my dingle dangle go BOJOJOINGGGG but it's you I want to spend eternity with!
Of course this list suffered some omissions due to the poll entry limit, so to mention a few:
- Lambert. He's the snarky and cynical prick you still somehow like.
- Vesemir and Crach an Craite, for those craving for a GDILF.
- Hjalmar an Craite, perhaps rivaled only by Olgierd in terms of sheer raw manliness. Bonus points for his mighty beard.
- Gaunter O'Dimm, for the crowd who are inexplicably drawn to people that are guaranteed to fuck up other's lives. But who wouldn't at least try someone who can literally fulfill your every wish?
- Detlaff, for fans of men of PASSION!!!!
- Eredin, for... those that... like racism, slavery and genocide?
Votes, y'all!
[sup]Goddamn, I am missing a career of writing dating show contestant pitches. It's not too late to change careers yet...[/sup]
