Quarter To Three gives Lollipop Chainsaw a 2.0 out of 10

[Kyle Donovan]

Wow. And I thought Gamespot's Simpson Arcade game review was horrible. The only reason they gave it this was because of the fact that the reviewer didn't like the humor, and didn't think it was as good as Bayonetta. I seriously don't think a short 4 paragraphed 'review' can be called a review without talking about the major gameplay, or the sound. Worst of all, it took the game's Metacritic score from 82, to 69. 13 points because someone thought the humor wasn't funny. What a joke. Especially since all the other reviews are 60 or above. I'm playing through it and at least a 70. 2 out of 10? That's something I would expect from Amy. Well, anyways, what do you have to say on this issue?

Link - http://www.quartertothree.com/fp/2012/06/12/what-do-you-get-when-you-cross-buffy-and-bayonetta-not-lollipop-chainsaw/

 

[Catfood220]

This game really seems be splitting opinions, Jim Sterling gave it a good review,

http://www.destructoid.com/review-lollipop-chainsaw-229321.phtml

I trust his opinion more than some random person on a website that I've never heard of. I'd like to hear from people who have played the game too.

 

[Dryk]

It reads like he wrote a four page review and only remembered to post the last one

 

[Timnoldzim]

Is... is this an officially-sanctioned review? No way. That length is good enough for a user review, but you have to be more in-depth than that if you call yourself a freaking professional!

 

[Waaghpowa]

I trust my opinion more than his, and mine says that the game is awesome and delightfully corny. I love Suda's self parody and satire through gratuitous use of sex jokes, violence and pop culture references.

 

[irishda]

Zombies need to die now...

 

[Dryk]

Oh I just noticed that he responds to some user comments and explains his problems with the combat... meaning that his comment responses have more meat than the review now -_-

 

[loc978]

...

If you want to play a shallow fighting game that combines bad humor, cheesecake, and gore, Splatterhouse would be delighted to get a little of your attention. It knows what it is and it delivers. But the gravest insult in Lollipop Chainsaw is that it?s such an obvious and vapid attempt at Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Bayonetta. You, ma?am, are no Bayonetta.

I have no idea where this guy gets the impression that this game is taking itself seriously in any way, shape, or form. Lillipop Chainsaw is The Big Bird Cage [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068273/] to Splatterhouse's Shaft [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067741/]. Tongue-in-cheek exploitation all around... less sex doesn't make Shaft or Splatterhouse less exploitative or less serious.

 

[NiPah]

Eh, I don't really care for the review, it compares the game to the games and media that it's trying to parody, and tries to be grownup by using words it found in a scribble dictionary...
But I don't fault the review, the guy obviously didn't like it (or is just a bastard who wanted some attention by giving poor reviews), the issue I have is with Metacritic and people who feel the need to use a point based system.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Quarter To Three? Never heard of him.

Sounds like a ploy to get people to click the link and get his page hits.

Started reading the Destructoid review...

Juliet Starling (main character in game)

Jim Sterling (gave the game a 9/10)

CONSPIRACY!!!!!!

I trust Jim's review over some review on a site that looks like it was made by an undergraduate in web design.

Game looks like tits on a ferret fun.

 

[BreakfastMan]

Game looks like tits on a ferret fun.

You know, that actually does not sound that fun...

OT: So some random guy on some crappy little site did a crappy little review that said he did not like a game. So what? Do people really get this worked up over another's opinion?

 

[Sneezeguard]

this guy is terrible

http://www.quartertothree.com/fp/2012/05/30/what-if-electronic-arts-published-dragons-dogma/

look at this review, this isn't a review it's just him taking pot shots at EA.

Look at this, max payne review he gave 2 stars

Oh this is gold!

"Max Payne 3 mostly looks good, but it?s no Kane and Lynch 2, and not for lack of trying. It?s obviously attempting Kane and Lynch 2′s brilliant and subversive YouTube aesthetic without really having a reason to do it"

Wow this guy is insane.... He..I.. no.. I have no words.

This is either trolling or this is so bad it's hilarious

 

[JohnDoey]

Wow, I don't think the game is great but that review was horrible.

 

[More Fun To Compute]

Tom Chick's whole routine is that he puts one small aspect of a game that nobody else cares about under the microscope and judges it based on that. Then he waits for people try to work out what the flip he is thinking, if he is a dick or some sort of enigmatic genius.

 

[PsychedelicDiamond]

It?s obviously attempting Kane and Lynch 2′s brilliant and subversive YouTube aesthetic without really having a reason to do it"

My god, he really wrote that? Unironically? In the words of the internet:

"Dafuq did i just read?"

 

[random_bars]

It?s obviously attempting Kane and Lynch 2′s brilliant and subversive YouTube aesthetic without really having a reason to do it"

My god, he really wrote that? Unironically? In the words of the internet:

"Dafuq did i just read?"

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you've never played Kane and Lynch 2, you've just heard that it had a negative reception and have gone along with the idea that every single aspect of it is universally terrible.

I might be completely wrong, in which case I'm sorry. Just for the record, I've never played it either, but I looked up some footage of it on Youtube and the camera thing he talked about does indeed look pretty interesting, whether or not the rest of the game is any good.

Point being, what exactly do you think is particularly bad about K&L2's camera trick? Actually, for the record, have you played it or not?

 

[rutcommapat]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you've never played Kane and Lynch 2, you've just heard that it had a negative reception and have gone along with the idea that every single aspect of it is universally terrible.

I might be completely wrong, in which case I'm sorry. Just for the record, I've never played it either, but I looked up some footage of it on Youtube and the camera thing he talked about does indeed look pretty interesting, whether or not the rest of the game is any good.

Point being, what exactly do you think is particularly bad about K&L2's camera trick? Actually, for the record, have you played it or not?

Actually, the camera effects in Max Payne 3 are better than Kane and Lynch 2, in that they're not as fucking obnoxious. Yeah, they're annoying in both games, but in Kane and Lynch 2 they're unbearable.

Still, the main reason that statement is completely insane is that Max Payne is that Kane and Lynch 2 is just not fun to play in the slightest. Take away the camera effects, and though you'll have less of a headache, you'll still be bored beyond comprehension because the gameplay is so repetitive, and fails to be satisfying in the slightest.

Coming from somebody who's played both games extensively (Well, as extensively as you can play a four hour game).