We need a remake of Banjo-Kazooie.
But we need it to appeal to the 15-18 year old demographic so an M-rated, gritty reboot is in order. I know, let's set it in a greyish-brown dystopic city with lots of violence and drugs rampant throughout. To make this more realistic, let's make Banjo an ex-cop with a drug problem who shoots first (get it?) and only asks questions after all the bad guys are dead. Kazooie should be a wise-cracking girl selling her body to take care of her young daughter and make ends meet but that doesn't dampen her positive outlook on life. Gruntilda is the head of a corrupt private security corporation that is cleaning up the streets in a monstrous manner.
When a drug deal falls apart leaving Bottles dead and Kazooie's daughter kidnapped (why? I dunno, throw together some mumbo-jumbo... hey, he can be the kidnapper! Booya!), Banjo and Kazooie team up to save her and find out who's behind it. The trailer can hint that Gruntilda and her Jinjo minions are behind the whole thing!
Cut and paste the plot twists from other games, throw together some last minute script changes by a struggling author, hire some actors last-minute and advertise the shit out of it and BINGO! 300,000 copies sold in the first week with massive profits to follow.
Coming this Christmas, Banjo-Kazooie: Extermination
This time, it'll take more than nuts and bolts to solve their problems...
[small]Rated M for Mature for graphic violence, sexual content, profanity, blood, and ninja action.[/small]