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Page 37 has a typo. In the big words, it is written "Fnale" rather than "Finale".
Other than that, I like it. I found it insightful. Indies, films, Spec Ops; all came together to tell me something about geek culture and the mediums within that, and it never crossed the line into pretentious territory, a hard thing to do when praising anything.
My only real suggestion is perhaps some smaller articles would be good as well as the longer ones. It is insightful, but little ones, from my perspective, can provide a refreshing little break, an easier trawl than the longer ones. A small thought can be just as insightful as a long debate.
Calumon: There wasn't much hay or wire. I don't know why I wanted to read about that though.
Other than that, I like it. I found it insightful. Indies, films, Spec Ops; all came together to tell me something about geek culture and the mediums within that, and it never crossed the line into pretentious territory, a hard thing to do when praising anything.
My only real suggestion is perhaps some smaller articles would be good as well as the longer ones. It is insightful, but little ones, from my perspective, can provide a refreshing little break, an easier trawl than the longer ones. A small thought can be just as insightful as a long debate.
Calumon: There wasn't much hay or wire. I don't know why I wanted to read about that though.
I think I would agree with that, and add only that there's a couple of spots with blank space that could be filled. Perhaps with:FargoDog said:
Which I think is a good suggestion, also. Even if it's even less than small articles and literally just thought-snippets for people to think about, stuff like that. If not, I'm a maestro at drawing dicks with a black marker pen.Jack and Calumon said:
Oh, and I frequent PC Gamer and Rock, Paper, Shotgun. I always appreciate some slightly odd-ball humour in the features and analyses I read. (I also enjoy mojitos and long walks on the beach.)
It always seems to me that the biggest danger to any publication can be a lack of personality - places like IGN lose it because they feel so incredibly corporate, other places feel as if they fall down something of a chasm. For whatever reason they just lack a personal identity. RPS has that, as does PCG (at least the mag - you might argue the site is a little more disparate since it's supplementary).
Not to be -THAT GUY- because I love such projects but do you guys have permission to advert here? >_>
I'd agree with all of that, really. Although the "thought snippet: discuss!" format only works when the venue for a dialogue is provided, which this project currently lacks. I'm not its biggest fan on venues where it can work like Kotaku either, admittedly.Woodsey said:
I suspect some articles could have been shorter too. Perhaps as the writers improve, shorter pieces can become more viable?
I love RPS's approach to videogame coverage, and I wish I had the ability to emulate it myself. Integrating humour into writing has never been something I've been able to do - except in a few exams when I've had too much caffeine.
This is probably a disastrous idea seeing writing with a measure of humour tends to be the aspiration, rather than separating it from the rest of the pieces entirely, but I did have the idea of trying to get a comedy section going. A collection of short form parody news articles, humorous LP entries, whatever you think people will find funny, just a chance to goof around, and mostly likely make the magazine more self-indulgent and alienating than it already is.
Even if the greatest source of comedy that could ever result from this would be DeadpanLunatic's subsequent breakdown at trying to edit these.
Anyway, if any existing or prospective writers for the mag have ideas/the faintest interest/a pulse and a keyboard, get in touch.
As for the topic, my favourite parts of magazines and print publication tend to be reviews for the contemporary information, features for further depth, and some opinion pieces, but typically only by writers I've grown to respect. I get EDGE and regularly read Kotaku, RPS, Gamasutra and The Escapist's news posts. I usually read them for the writers or industry insight, and, in The Escapist's case, because the site's ever-friendly and not at all malevolent IRC channel bot links me to them.
I don't suppose you're looking for more writers at all, are you? I'd be interested in writing for this if possible, probably on a more casual basis than a regular thing, but still, if I fit the bill then I'd love to give it a shotDeadpanLunatic said:Like many people on this site, I write about videogames. Mostly as a leisurely pursuit, posting the occasional review on our board. But I also entertain the thought of doing this professionally one day, and I know that I need to improve if I ever want to make it. There's only so much you can learn by playing it safe, so I decided to create my own magazine project. After two months of hard work, the first issue of Haywire Magazine [http://bit.ly/NEhn6E] is now out. It's edited by me, designed by [user]Maet[/user] and features submissions by [user]FargoDog[/user], [user]pigeon_of_doom[/user], [user]Sevre[/user], [user]holdthephone[/user], [user]Lost In The Void[/user] and [user]Woodsey[/user].
But while it's nice to have found this many writers already (and hopefully more soon), we have something of a limited, inside perspective. So I turn to you dear Escapists, to learn about your tastes and preferences in games journalism. What do you expect from a publication? Do you favor previews, reviews, opinion pieces or lengthy features? What outlets do you read, and why? If you would be so kind as to read our first issue, do you have any feedback, ideas or suggestions?
. Or I could try and pitch a serialisation of my Katawa Shoujo retelling (from Hanako's point of view) to be published in the magazine... doubt you'd be interested, but thought I'd mention it anyway ;D.Either way, very well laid out and professional looking, even if the comments on the website aren't so professional
. Very interesting articles too, and I look forward to reading more in the future. This is definitely something for my Favourites bar 
I'd like to say it's all very pretty so I think as far as visual style is concerned you've nailed it, content wise I'm still in the process of reading as each article feels quite large. This could be a problem as sometimes I don't feel like reading a long article and prefer to look at smaller ones with an interesting point or two. Perhaps that something you could consider in the future? Short little 300 word pieces dotted occasionally around to mix in the large ones. Their is something about seeing a lot of text which makes you hesitant to read it all unless in the right mood.
Firstly I had no idea you still existed and assumed Calumon had killed you long ago and secondly high five on having the same point.Jack and Calumon said:
...Y'know, I've been getting that a lot lately.Demon ID said:
I HAVEN'T GONE ANYWHERE GUYS! I'VE BEEN HERE ALL ALONG!
A BIT SLOWER MAYBE, BUT I'VE STILL BEEN HERE! MAYBE I'D TALK MORE IF GENDER POLITICS WASN'T THE ONLY THING BEING DISCUSSED!
But yes, glad to know someone shares my views so I can stop worrying that the entire Haywire team is looking over their glasses at me thinking "Shorter articles? What, did our epic sentences wear you out?"
Calumon: ...Yes... :'(
Oh don't move away from them, what i've read so far is good quality I just mean like you said, slip in some smaller chunks like intermission in their to break it up like snacks before another meal (I made a food metaphor because I'm hungry as my oven broke)DeadpanLunatic said:
I'VE JUST MISSED YOU OKAY! I ENJOYED YOUR POSTS AND THEN I WENT AWAY FOR AGES AND THEN I CAME BACK AND I DIDN'T SEE YOU. I WAS SCARED DAMNIT BECAUSE CALUMON IS EVIL! EVIL!!!Jack and Calumon said:
:'(
AwesomeDeadpanLunatic said:
. Just give me a topic and a deadline, and if it's a topic I know something about or can research until I know something about it then I'll write it!As for the Katawa Shoujo thing, if you are interested in the concept then here's a pair of links to the story as it's currently being published, on here and on Fanfiction.net. It's still ongoing at the moment, just writing Chapter 6 now (should be a couple of days before it's finished) and that'll be the end of Act One, meaning material for three months easily (taken my about two and a half months to write so far, intermittently...)
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8329929/1/Hanakos-Story
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.382076-Katawa-Shoujo-Hanakos-Story-UPDATED-22-08-2012
As other pointed out, more variety in article length will provide your readers with a more pleasant read and breaks up the monotony
Also, include more white space. You seem to want to go for the minimalist, classy style of magazine, so you need a good amount of empty space to let the page breathe a little. Right now, you have quite a few pages that are a wall of text, which is a big no-no for most types of magazines. It is tiring to read and might outright turn off some readers. You used a streamer on some of them, but there are more things you could do:
- using more images is a quick solution, but has the risk of undoing the minimalist approach. You can however also use graphs or even cartoons (if tasteful).
- use more line spacing between paragraphs. This will create more white space, breaks up your text and provides more structure, making your text easier to read.
- speaking of paragraphs: giving them subheads wouldn't hurt, for the same reasons as the comment about more line spacing above. As a rule of thumb these should be short (2-3 words) and descriptive of the paragraphs contents.
- you could put in sidebars that go a little deeper into a term or concept from the body copy.
- Simply leave more white space. Make the gutter between columns a little bigger. Leave some room between headlines/images and body copy
Lastly, know to 'kill your darlings' i.e. leaving out all unnecessary words and information. This might be a superfluous comment as I've only briefly skimmed over the texts (OP, could take a more thorough look if you want), but it is something many aspiring writers tend to forget. If a sentence repeats information already written somewhere earlier in the article, scrap it ,unless the article is very long and the reader might need a reminder. Using a lot of adjectives? You're not writing prose, so unless they're needed to get your point across, get rid of them. Generally speaking, the trick is to find a balance between providing as much information as possible and doing so with the least amount of words.
Also, include more white space. You seem to want to go for the minimalist, classy style of magazine, so you need a good amount of empty space to let the page breathe a little. Right now, you have quite a few pages that are a wall of text, which is a big no-no for most types of magazines. It is tiring to read and might outright turn off some readers. You used a streamer on some of them, but there are more things you could do:
- using more images is a quick solution, but has the risk of undoing the minimalist approach. You can however also use graphs or even cartoons (if tasteful).
- use more line spacing between paragraphs. This will create more white space, breaks up your text and provides more structure, making your text easier to read.
- speaking of paragraphs: giving them subheads wouldn't hurt, for the same reasons as the comment about more line spacing above. As a rule of thumb these should be short (2-3 words) and descriptive of the paragraphs contents.
- you could put in sidebars that go a little deeper into a term or concept from the body copy.
- Simply leave more white space. Make the gutter between columns a little bigger. Leave some room between headlines/images and body copy
Lastly, know to 'kill your darlings' i.e. leaving out all unnecessary words and information. This might be a superfluous comment as I've only briefly skimmed over the texts (OP, could take a more thorough look if you want), but it is something many aspiring writers tend to forget. If a sentence repeats information already written somewhere earlier in the article, scrap it ,unless the article is very long and the reader might need a reminder. Using a lot of adjectives? You're not writing prose, so unless they're needed to get your point across, get rid of them. Generally speaking, the trick is to find a balance between providing as much information as possible and doing so with the least amount of words.
That struck me too. Edge seems to do well enough with the minimalist style but use a lot more pictures, may be worth emulating to a point.chimpzy said:
Sidebars would be especially useful for reviews/previews, although I think generally, in this issue, the format worked (except for the last page of the preview).
But yeah, whitespace, Bad Maet, leaving a bid gap at the end of my article like that. Tut tut.
Also, thanks for the feedback everyone, it's much appreciated. Mainly as it means I have ammunition to criticism the magazine overseers. But improvement's always fun too.
I think I'd prefer more use of background images with overlaid text as opposed to cordoned off images. The letter from ourpigeon_of_doom said:
Edge looks decent enough, but The Escapist's blue, PCG's carbon-fibre-ish look and RPS' dark background with off-white backgrounds for their posts work better for me.