REPORT: Batman v Superman Character Sexualities Detailed

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PsychicTaco115

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[Img_Inline width="280" height="250" Caption="The Non-Ambiguously Gay Duo"]http://i.imgur.com/PnZl7PT.jpg
[/Img_Inline]

With the recent news of Catwoman being bisexual and a new Star Wars character in the Extended Universe novels being lesbian, this seems to be the time to announce LGBTQIA characteristics in media. Zack Snyder, director of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, also shares this view as he announced today the various sexualities of several characters set to be in the film.

"Comic books and novels are boring and for nerds. Anything can tell you that a character is attracted to someone else but a film can actually SHOW you. You don't want to be called a nerd, do you?

Snyder went into further detail of the character's sexual orientations and how this reveal will only help the film.

"Wonder Woman is now a lesbian. Lois Lane is also lesbian but she's not out to anyone yet. Maybe we'll have a scene where the two get it on, you know what I mean? As for the rest of the male cast, they're all straight. If you had them stand next to each other, they'd all be parallel and that's an appropriate metaphor for how comfortable they are with their heterosexuality. The only real difference between them is how much on-screen sex they have with women. As a white guy, I myself am excited in both ways about this."

"So that we've got all of our diversity bases covered, I can honestly say I'm excited to see the reactions to this film. We've got this 'controversy' and other ones planned until the release of the film so we get all the pre-release hype we can get. Sure, it may have been fun to see the film and discover things like this yourself but no one reads anymore because as I said earlier, reading is for nerds. For a final quote, here's this: We've got lesbians" said Snyder.

Look for the film's lore to be considered non-canon in a few days by the head heteros themselves at DC.

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PsychicTaco115

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MarsAtlas said:
FINALLY! Seventy years is a long time to stay inside of a cramped closet.
Yep, it seems all of the fan-fic about her and every other heroine hooking up were indeed true!

Who woulda thunk it?
InsanityRequiem said:
But dammit, if Superman and Batman were two gay dudes? THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH!
 

Erttheking

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What, no jokes about Batman and robin boning? Golden opportunity missed.
 

PsychicTaco115

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erttheking said:
What, no jokes about Batman and robin boning? Golden opportunity missed.
Hover over the side-pic ;)
Pluvia said:
Well there has never been a more perfect time to link this:

I think that would be everyone's response

Come on, tell it to my face that you wouldn't be thinking the same thing!
 

FPLOON

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If Batman v Superman were a musical, I'm sure this would be one of the songs that Batman and Superman would sing as a duet:Other than that, I was expecting Lois to actually be bi... I mean, unless Superman isn't going to give her the D or anthing like that...
 

Spaceman Spiff

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Pluvia said:
Well there has never been a more perfect time to link this:

Is that a legit comic? The art looks high-quality. I'm just wondering for...reasons. Their expressions in the last panel are just perfect.

Time to google
 

PsychicTaco115

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Nods Respectfully Towards You said:
Damn you Taco, every now and again I come across your absurd headlines and feel a few seconds of dread before finding out they're from you.
I'm sorry for freaking you out with such things

I just wanna laugh, not shake my head at disgust at this world :<

Nietzsche kills parties
HankyPanky said:
Poe's Law in action.
FPLOON said:
Other than that, I was expecting Lois to actually be bi... I mean, unless Superman isn't going to give her the D or anthing like that...
That's for the sequel! ;D
 

Barbas

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Awwwww f--k yeah. I was so bored today. ^^

We've got this 'controversy' and other ones planned until the release of the film so we get all the pre-release hype we can get. Sure, it may have been fun to see the film and discover things like this yourself but no one reads anymore because as I said earlier, reading is for nerds. For a final quote, here's this: We've got lesbians" said Snyder.
Damn right!
 

Bizzaro Stormy

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erttheking said:
What, no jokes about Batman and robin boning? Golden opportunity missed.
If you're going to go there than you might as well bring up Superman's flirtations with incest and Wonder Woman's open love of bondage both physical and emotional. Though I've never heard anything odd about Aquaman. Perhaps his writers figured that not making him weird would make him stand out from the pack?
 

Super Cyborg

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Pretty sure Wonder Woman would be much better to Lois anyways. She has more character than Superman ever has, and can't be as broody.

Though I think Snyder has a different reason for this than just diversity. I mean, think about if Superman banged Lois in the movie. Guy is so strong that he would probably accidently blow her up in the region while doing it. With Wonder Woman, probably doesn't have to worry about it as much.
 

Erttheking

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Bizzaro Stormy said:
erttheking said:
What, no jokes about Batman and robin boning? Golden opportunity missed.
If you're going to go there than you might as well bring up Superman's flirtations with incest and Wonder Woman's open love of bondage both physical and emotional. Though I've never heard anything odd about Aquaman. Perhaps his writers figured that not making him weird would make him stand out from the pack?
Yeah...the D.C. universe has a weird history of sex. Heck, Jimmy Olsen used to crossdress a lot.

http://media.tumblr.com/160f73becdd7c27309cf08034e9e5e9e/tumblr_inline_mh42eruRRp1qggbxy.jpg

Really well.
 

FPLOON

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PsychicTaco115 said:
FPLOON said:
Other than that, I was expecting Lois to actually be bi... I mean, unless Superman isn't going to give her the D or anthing like that...
That's for the sequel! ;D
http://i.imgur.com/byni5tW.gif
Mahvel better check themselves because DC's coming out of the closet gate swinging...
erttheking said:
Yeah...the D.C. universe has a weird history of sex. Heck, Jimmy Olsen used to crossdress a lot.

http://media.tumblr.com/160f73becdd7c27309cf08034e9e5e9e/tumblr_inline_mh42eruRRp1qggbxy.jpg

Really well.
...And now Jimmy Olsen is my new favorite non-DC superhero...